I have many things that I want to talk to my b/f about, but i find myself getting scared of what he will say or think. How can I overcome this?
2006-09-01 20:17:53 · 21 answers · asked by me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a basic hitch in a relationship. There is no clear cut formula to come out to tell. But you have to do it on your own, there is no alternative. You have to break the ice. Do not worry simply speak your mind. Afterall you want a response and why you should worry the response. Moreover, worrying about the response and not speaking your mind would maintain the status quo. In any case you are the loser, if you fear a negative response. Give it a go and hope for the best.
2006-09-01 20:23:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting that you feel the need to ask such a question.
Firstly- why would he NOT want to listen to how you think and feel?
Secondly- why do you get the initial impression that he would automatically go to the defensive (I presume thats what you're worried about).
If you truely respect each other, if he respects you in other words he will listen and try to find common ground. As one of your other respondents said- if he doesn't listen he's not the one.
You must find within yourself the courage and the self-belief/determination to speak up for yourself and not allow your feelings to be trivialised and/or marginalised in any way, shape, or form.
The Iceman.
2006-09-01 20:24:45 · answer #2 · answered by The Iceman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't overcome it. Either you're dating an ****** or you're not. You can tell by how much he respects you and how much you respect him, and how much you can trust each other.
If you can't talk to him now, I really hope you don't plan on marrying this dude, cuz hon, it probably won't work out.
I suggest just saying what's on your mind, cuz honestly, you have nothing to lose. And do it in a public place where he won't beat you up, and if he does, someone can save your life.
2006-09-01 20:21:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit both of you down. Make Something warm to drink. Say "I have been wanting to talk to you but have not had the time." That way he won't get upset for not telling him sooner. Also say I want to do this in a mature manner and not argue like little children."
Be Serious!!
2006-09-01 20:21:38 · answer #4 · answered by Leah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot afford to not be able to say what is on your mind. If he cannot accept your openness then you need to be with someone else. Never let any male control or rule you. A good way to judge his character is how he accept you for who you are...not who he want you to be.
Start NOW to stand up for yourself. If not you will be a good candidate for being a battered gf or wife.
Regardless of anything else you have to stand on your own two feet. Love yourself first and to thine own self be true.
2006-09-01 20:24:49 · answer #5 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not be afriad of what People may say or think of you just because you say that of what or how you feel on or about what ever it may be and if they Judge hate you or dis like you for that in what is speaking your mind as it may be seen in some ways or cases then they are not worth being around at all. --- Alawys remember to always be who you are aka yourself not anyone you are not.
So if your Boyfriend really truely loves you he will understand and listen to what you have to or want to say to him on what ever it may be on or about.
And he will not Judge you or dislike you for what you ay to him or tell him or talk to him about thus if he does judge you or dislike you for that then hes not worth being with at all or even around.
2006-09-01 20:28:45 · answer #6 · answered by Peace Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can not honestly and freely talk about issues important to you, to him, then this person is not in the category of a friend.
Your values, integrity, morals, and virtues are you. If people that you come in contact can not respect your values, then they are not interested in you.
Your only requirement is to insure that your values are supported by strong moral conviction!
You do not have to sell yourself or your integrity to or for any one.
If he will not listen to you, then he has closed himself off to knowing you!
Further sayings of the Mad Man
2006-09-01 20:27:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have some one you love and they love you, you should always
be able to talk to them without fearing what they say or think! When you speak to them, you do not assault them with words or actions as that is asking for a fight!
2006-09-01 20:22:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him about the things u want to. if he is ur b.f and cares about u he will want to know what u have to say. and maybe some of the things u want to talk about he does too but is also nervous. trust him and tell him what u need to say :) good luck!
2006-09-01 20:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A quick and honest answer...just be youself and dont hold back. If he dosent like you for who you are or what you will say then he was not the one for you. It is better to say what you have to say then not say anything at all.
2006-09-01 20:20:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋