My ex boyfriend and I have remained really close friends with benefits after he broke up with me when I moved away to college last year (he couldn't handle long distance). He calls me all the time to see how I am doing and such and when we get together we cant help but get sexually (We both still love each other SO much). He is been treating me really player-like lately..like when I am in town he says he is busy...doesn't call to say bye etc. He just called me tonight to say hi and see how i am. I am sick of this game and its holding me back from dating others. I still love him so much but don't know if I should just ignore him or call him and make him feel guilty for how he treated me when I was in town. I want him to hurt...b/c he made me hurt. What would be the best option? Im just scared to ignore b/c i really dont want to lose him...i love him but want to make him realize how he treats me and play with his mind. Any advice?
2006-09-01 19:42:16 · 11 answers · asked by Alexandra G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ignoring the call definately makes a stronger statement. However, your wanting him to hurt makes a statement that you really still want him, work on you instead of working on hurting him.
2006-09-01 19:47:04 · answer #1 · answered by emily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a phrase I heard years ago that relates to this that I wish I could think of right now. I don't remember exactly how it goes but I can give you an idea.
It states that "living well" is the sweetest revenge. It simply means, that if your ex-boyfriend sees you happy, enjoying life that what is going to cross his mind is "Wow, what am I missing?" It will have a far more powerful impact that any direct confrontations or you ignoring him will accomplish. If you are a pleasant person he will want to be around you. If you are a moody person he will run.
You are a young woman now. Not a child. Don't play childish mind games. All that will accomplish is confirming to him that he doesn't want any part of you. If you continue to have sex with him just so you can retain a relationship than that is all it will ever be. He'll get bored with that and you still won't have any kind of meaningful commitment with him.
You may have deep affection for him but it seems like maybe he is moving on. Otherwise his treatment toward you wouldn't have changed as you mention. You need to face that and move on.
I wish you luck... Don't become obsessed with this guy. You will find someone more suited to you and not only sexually.
Take Care..
2006-09-02 03:02:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should ignore him pretty much like he's ignoring the fact that you're in town. He's playing on your weakness for him b/c it strokes his ego to be able to lead you around like he's doing. No matter how much your heart pulls you towards him when he calls & even if you have absolutely nothing to do on that night, tell him you're busy and be short with your words like you have something better to be doing besides talking to him on the phone...that'll get him! B/c he'll first of all be shocked that you aren't pining away for him but also his ego will bust & maybe be a little more cautious about approaching you with such insinserity. He'll have to protect his feelings first so he'll be more careful next time.
2006-09-02 03:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by paigenstuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh girl, ya gotta lose this guy. He's just playing games with you. If he really cared, he wouldn't disrespect you that way. Ask yourself if you are worth more than just being some guys toy. Because that's what he is using you as. And you can call him and tell him he has hurt you or you can ignore him...neither one will make a difference because if he had any character, he wouldn't have behaved that way in the first place.
2006-09-02 02:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by taraleighsg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is using u only for sex.If he is treating u like this then u have two options..First: You also get into the same frame of mind as he is. Like u also treat him the way he treats u or u stop entertaining him and part off.
2006-09-02 02:46:13 · answer #5 · answered by Keyman 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he is playing games with you, forget him, you guys broke up for a reason..and truth is he probably found another cat to pet..and he probably wont tell you because he wants you on the side..besides if you guys are not going out anymore what is stopping you from going out there and enjoying life..forget the bastard..dont call him, dont pay attention to him..go live your life..
2006-09-02 02:45:36 · answer #6 · answered by sinful vampyra 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just ignore his phone calls and stop having sex with him because you wont be able to move with your life with another man if you have feelings for him and he thinks that he can always come back to you that's why he's doing this to you
2006-09-02 02:53:38 · answer #7 · answered by Rivelle W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men love the chase- every guy wants what he cannot have....so let him call you a few times. Ur a busy girl :)
2006-09-02 03:41:53 · answer #8 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ignore for awhile
2006-09-02 02:45:09 · answer #9 · answered by cherrygurl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ignoring.
2006-09-02 02:44:02 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋