Are you usually timid and anxious, but can quickly become confrontational if others threaten you?

Question

I just don't get it. I have an anxiety disorder, and most of the time, I'm nervous just making phone calls or meeting people, so I avoid both whenever possible. Some people might even say I'm shy.

Now here is the strange part. When I feel as if someone is intentionally trying to take advantage of me, or disregarding my rights, I can become very confrontational, almost hostile(though still anxious). I just don't get this. How can I be so timid when no one is really paying me much attention, and downright aggressive on the other hand??

Has anyone else noticed this duality about their behavior? I guess my need not to be treated unfairly, overrides my anxiety. I don't like when I become confrontational, because it makes me feel mean and I don't like that. For instance, waiting in the grocery store line makes me nervous. But if someone jumps in front of me, my blood boils and I don't hesitate to tell them to MOVE. It's such a sudden change that it surprises me at times.

Answer 1

You are not by yourself on that one. I used to be the same way. But I have learned how to relax and not be so tense. Say a prayer when you wake up in the morning and before you leave the house. It always helps me. Cause I was very mean to everyone. Now I am very passive. Sometimes, I can't stand being that way. Being that way sometimes makes me frustrated. But I am more at peace. So I just stay on the Lord's side.

Answer 2

what you've described are the typical "fight or flight" symptoms that come w/the anxiety disorder~not everyone gets these and the ones that do are not necessarily as strong or fearsome as yours may be...
~~anger signals your body to prepare for a fight. this reaction is commonly classified as "fight or flight." when you get angry, adrenaline and other hormones are released into the bloodstream, then your blood pressure goes up, your heart beats faster, and you breathe faster.
many people mistakenly believe that anger is always a bad emotion and that expressing anger is not okay. in reality, anger can be a normal response to everyday events. it is the right response to any situation that is a real threat. anger can be a positive driving force behind our actions. anger can also be a symptom of something else, depending on how often a person feels angry and how angry the person feels.
anger keeps your blood pressure high and increases your chances of having another health problem, such as depression, heart attack, or a stroke.
"the fight-or-flight response, (also called the acute stress response), was later recognized as the first stage of a general adaptation syndrome that regulates stress responses among vertebrates and other organisms.
when a person is in a serene, unstimulated state, the "firing" of neurons in the locus ceruleus is minimal. a novel stimulus (which could include a perception of danger or an environmental stressor signal such as elevated sound levels or over-illumination), once perceived, is relayed from the sensory cortex of the brain through the thalamus to the brain stem. that route of signaling increases the rate of noradrenergic (liberating, activated by, or involving norepinephrine in the transmission of nerve impulses) activity in the locus ceruleus ( a bluish area of the brain stem with many norepinephrine-containing neurons) , and the person becomes alert and attentive to the environment. similarly, an abundance of catecholamines (any of various amines (as epinephrine, norepinephrine, and dopamine) that function as hormones or neurotransmitters or both ) at neuroreceptor sites facilitates reliance on spontaneous or intuitive behaviors often related to combat or escape.
if a stimulus is perceived as a threat, a more intense and prolonged discharge of the locus ceruleus activates the sympathetic division of the autonomic nervous system. this activation is associated with specific physiological actions in the system, both directly and indirectly through the release of epinephrine (adrenaline) and to a lesser extent norepinephrine from the medulla of the adrenal glands. the release is triggered by acetylcholine released from preganglionic (proximal to a ganglion) sympathetic nerves. the other major player in the acute stress response is the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis.
although the emergency measure of the stress response is undoubtedly both vital and valuable, it can also be disruptive and damaging. most humans rarely require emergencies that require physical effort, yet our biology still provides for them. thus we may find our stress response activated in situations where physical action is inappropriate or even illegal. this activation takes a toll on both our bodies and our minds".

Answer 3

I am EXACTLY the same way! Pretty much everything you were describing applies to me. I was especially surprised to read that even making phone calls makes you anxious. I thought I was the only one!!!
It's getting increasingly more difficult for me to even leave the house because it seems that everybody is doing something against me or personally attacking me. Yet, I am very, very quiet and shy...
I could go on but I think you know what I'm saying.
I know I need to get help with this anxiety. I have been to therapy before but I think I've been approaching it all wrong because I always talk about being *depressed*, but I think it's anxiety with paranoia possibly because I really believe others target me to push around or to take advantage of. And I also do get very, very aggressive.

Best of luck to you and if possible, please let me know what course of action you decide to take and if it works for you.

Take care!

Answer 4

Yeah - I think I know what you mean about duality. I used to be very quiet, but some small"injustice" would trigger a response that would surprise everyone including me.

Thankfully it was usually OK, and served me well on occassion. However be careful people dont' 't see it as flying off the handle, or think you are "going postal"!

Answer 5

You are suffering from depression and sociaphobia. See a psychiatrist and get some medication. You will feel much better.