I had a similiar situation when my daughter was that age. She said all the same things, dont tell anyone it will make it worse. And she is right, it will.
I hate to say this and I know its hard, but the best thing you can do is let your daughter handle it....to a point.
Make her go to school for one thing. Letting her stay home will only empower the girls who want her shoes. It will also give your daughter a way out. She needs to learn even in the face of fear, how to handle it.
Give her some good advice. Turn your cheek once. Then you have a right to defend yourself. If we as parents step in when these things happen, our children dont learn how to defend themselves. And this is just the beginning with the situations she will be faced with in her lifetime.
My advice to my daughter was to turn her cheek once. Give a warning and try to do the upstanding thing. And she did, however, it wasnt enough and my own daughter wound up fighting for what she felt was disrespectful towards her and wrong. And she won.
im not condoning fighting to get your point across, however, she stood up for herself and found that she was left alone after the fact. Kids are mean these days, they are bullies and push the limits. But this is the kind of world your daughter lives in, unfortunately.
This is a good time at this age for her to know when is a good time to turn the cheek and when is a good time to stand her ground.
Alot of times these kids just decide strong gals like your daughter who are willing to fight back arent worth the hassle. Sometimes not.
If your daughter winds up getting into a fight and regardless of the outcome is reprimanded at school, well that is sometimes how it goes. She wont be the only one tho. The other gals will get theirs too.
But in the long run, your daughter will have stood up for herself and be able to walk tall.
2006-09-01 18:45:40
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answer #1
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answered by bolo 3
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I would tell the principal, without your daughter knowing. I would make sure that someone at that school is keeping an eye on your daughter, and you should check in at the school surprizingly to keep an eye on your daughter without her realizing what you are doing. And let her handle the situation as much as she can but with you watching in the background. If I were you, I would then evaluate the situation and see if she is really being taken care of by the staff, once you know that no harm can come to her, still, do not let your guard down, children are so mean these days, and I would not let any harm come to my child no matter what age she is. If I had to, I would send a bodyguard to school with her. Take her out of school and homeschool her. Confront the guidance counselor, or principal. No one is going to mess with my daughter and you should feel the same way. And I would not move on the situation after she has been hurt.
2006-09-01 19:04:27
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answer #2
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answered by meeeohmyyyy 3
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I have a 10 year old daughter and if this happened to her, I would casually get the names of the bullies from her. Write them down so that she cannot see it. Then I would go to the principal and stress that your meeting remain extremely confidential because your daughter's welfare is at stake. I would give the names of those 8th grade girls to the principal and ask him/her what action he/she plans to take. If you feel that the action will reveal too much about who told the principal, tell the principal your concern. Maybe you can work together to decide what action to take. Good luck and I hope everything works out for your daughter.
2006-09-01 18:45:24
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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Don't confront the girls, this is not your job . Go to the principal, DO NOT TELL YOUR DAUGHTER! She will never come to you again for help. Tell the principal you don't want it know to anyone that it came from you. If they are saying to all the 6th grade girls these bullies will have no idea who "dobbed". Call the principal as this way no one will say to the bullies "I saw ..... mum come to the school" this way nothing will come back on your daughter and yet you will have protected her as you want to. I have no idea what these shoes are (I'm Aussie and my kids are 7. for my daughter as long as they are purple she doesn't care what the brand) but don't send her in them on Tuesday and tell her to stay with her friends so it is easier to stand up to these little s h i t s
2006-09-01 23:18:43
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answer #4
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answered by Rachel 7
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I was picked on at school, and my mother was in the office so much that the principal would ask her how "our" girl was doing today. It was ok, and the picking never got worse, but.... I didn't learn how to deal with things on my own. I am a mother now, and unless my gut told me I better go talk to the principal, I would let my daughter handle it. You know your feeling, and your daughter. Use your best judgement. Good luck.
2006-09-01 18:39:08
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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If you feel that your daughter is in grave danger then do go to the princible but the more you are in the school the less likely she is to learn to deal with life. I'd give it some time school hasn't been in for that long and if these girls are threatening the underclass girls the six graders will band together and not get bullied anymore if something happens then go to the princible and if they do take her shoes call the cops any violence on school property is a crime and should be reported to the authorities.
2006-09-01 18:50:09
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Give it a bit more time and see how things go. The 8th grade girls are probably "flexing" their upper-classmen muscle. If things don't improve, immediately go to the principal. If the 8th graders are threatening all of the 6th grade girls, then it shouldn't come back to your daughter. She might be a bit mad at first that you "tattled" for her, but if nothing gets back that it was directly related to her, then she should get over it. Good luck, kids can be real jerks sometimes.
2006-09-01 18:39:27
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answer #7
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answered by jenpeden 4
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I am almost certain that these girls are talking big and won't actually do anything. But to be sure, talk to the principal. Schools have ways of dealing with problematic behaviour that don't reveal the person making the complaint. I had to deal with violent classmates when I was in school--by myself I might add--and I never had a problem with them after that.
You and your child do not have to live in fear of children with lousy parents.
2006-09-01 18:43:18
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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If it were me in the situation, I would definetly let the school personell know right away. Your daughter doesn't want you to, and I understand why she feels this way, but school violence is very serious and should not be taken lightly. The fact that they want to beat her up over some shoes is scary, and you don't know what these people are capable of. Your daughter will probably get upset, but once she understands why you did it, she will be okay.
2006-09-01 18:41:51
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answer #9
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answered by Honeychild 4
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You could go to the principle on your own and just express your concerns, but, without specific names of those other girls, times, etc. not much will happen without your daughters help. I hate to hear of things like this, my daughter had very same problems last yaer. We just tried to convince her that these things will continue, all through school, if left to boil. I can't even really say that things resolved totally with her, but that one girl leaves her alone now. Found someone else to pick on I guess.
2006-09-01 18:44:18
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answer #10
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answered by TJG 2
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