today I went to work and I got home tired and my house was a mess my husband and my kids 3 yr. and 5 months and my husbands brother they were at home, my hubbys day off , so i decided to get out of the house went out to eat then went to the mall and after we came home. I had to go buy some dipers after I finally got home I felt like crying because the house looked like a pig style and I got in an argument with my hub, he doesnt pick up after him nor the kids everything is everywhere and my brother in law he just move in a week ago and he doesnt help much, but I feel like I have to do everything pick up after everybody ,I feel like I am going crazy i wish I could just open the door and run and run and never stop ,I feel sooo exhausted please anybody got any sugestions?, is just that when I work I go home its a chaos. what can I do to relax a bit before I go crazy
2006-09-01 18:33:09 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am a firm believer that women should not be the only one in the house doing the chores. Men eat help make kids and help everything else that gives us women a headache, but cannot make things better. Ok I am by no means here to bash men, but I do not believe that you should be feeling stress out like. Your HUSBANDs brother is living with you the least he could do if he did not do it before is help you clean the house now because I am sure if it was up to you his brother probably would not be there. You should have a talk with your husband and then ask him to speak with his brother. Then follow up with his brother to make sure he spoke to him. There is no reason why you should be cleaning up a dirty mess after two adults who understand the difference between tidy and messy. Have they no respect for a hard working Woman. Good Luck.
2006-09-01 18:43:53 · answer #1 · answered by ParisAd0re 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take your husband aside one day when you are feeling calm and talk to him about this. Don't tell him what to do or demand things because that will just get his defenses up. Leave your emotions out of the discussion. Ask for his opinion on what you two can do together to keep the house in order. Get the 3 year old involved with the chores. It's a great way to help build confidence and independance in children. You have a right and a need to have a calm home life and so does everyone else in that house. Get the brother-in-law involved too. He is staying at your house so he must follow your rules. And by that I mean you and your husbands. If your husband flat out refuses to help in any way then you have a more serious problem.
2006-09-01 18:43:38 · answer #2 · answered by ravencrow163 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not the only one too have the feelings you did at that time. Millions of women around the work have gone through the same thing. They have had those thoughts too if they want to admit it or not. You need to have a sit down talk with the adults of the house about what happened and how it made you feel. Make some agreements about keeping the house clean. The classics never go out of style. Everyone pick up after themselves. As for the children it's never too early to teach them clean up there own mess. Make a game of it. That works well at daycare centers. The last time you checked you were a mother, wife and sister in law not the maid. If they don't want to pitch in they can hire a maid to clean up after them.
2006-09-01 18:50:20 · answer #3 · answered by giya_98 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sound like most of the families I've seen where the Mom works. Is it normal? Who knows anymore. The roles in families use to be clear, the man went to work outside the home to support the wife and children and the woman stayed home to cook, clean etc. to support the family that way. I grew-up that way and I was lucky enough to have been able to stay home with the kids while my husband worked. I know you feel like you are going to go crazy and that part I think is perfectly NORMAL. You are under a lot of stress. Try talking to your husband when you are alone if that is possible. Good-luck I wish I could help you out. Michele
2006-09-01 19:01:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't argue with you hub. That won't help.
If you ask him to help maybe he will.
If he wont, take your child and go on a vacation to mama.
Tell him to decide if he wants a you at home or not.
State your demands in a calm voice and leave without anger.
On you way out, tell him you love him and you cannot continue to live this way. Anyway, what's the deal with your husbands brother?
Why has he moved in?
You could just ignore the mess, keep your personal area clean and let him live in his own mess.
Since you are both working, hire a house cleaner.
2006-09-01 19:00:14 · answer #5 · answered by ageless 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if i was you and i wanted to relax before i go crazy i would take some PTO (personal time off) from work for the weekend Fri-Sun. You and some friends go to the spa get massages, go get nails and toes did have a nice time and enjoy life instead of stressing. Not that you shouldn't clean your house or the others who stay there but have some girl time to get stuff off your mind and if you can have at least one day a week to yourself you should feel refreshed but when you come home................ you should make out a daily plan for everyone to do a little of the housework.
2006-09-01 18:46:13 · answer #6 · answered by sweets 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a lot more normal than you think. You could try talking to your husband, very calmly and tell him how much this is getting to you. You need a break. If no one else wants to do it, let them live in it. Tell them you aren't cleaning when you get home. Maybe when they start having to wade through the mess to get to the fridge, they'll do something. Either way, don't keep doing it all yourself. Take the breaks you need and get some sleep!( you might have to ignore the mess for a while)
2006-09-01 18:44:51 · answer #7 · answered by feathereafter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down, woman! If you are working and also expected to keep that house in order then you obviously wear the pants in the family, so, lay down the law. Why are you letting them get away with that? Your husband and his brother are obviously using you and your home as a flop house.
2006-09-01 18:39:35 · answer #8 · answered by Evil Wordmonger, LTD LOL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you can't fight or trying to make others understand forever; i know how you feel, been there. Just come home do what you like, read, watch TV,.... for a change may be you get some result. I know this will be hard on you in other way, but it worth trying and you get to relax a bit, give it a try.........wish you luck.
PS. i can not stand ignorants!
2006-09-01 18:49:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a meeting and tell everyone how you feel, while you're still sane. make a list of chores to be done on a daily and weekly basis and then write a name next to each chore. when every one knows what is expected of them and when the chore has to be completed, they are more likely to pitch in. because it is human (male) nature to just sit around and hope for someone else to do the chore. now post your list in the kitchen where everyone can see it and make sure they understand that you MEAN BUSINESS!
2006-09-01 18:45:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋