After 2 months of TOTAL COMPATABILITY, one day he flipped..Ladies mainly but Guys please chime in on WHATS UP?

Question

We are in our late 30's. Both married twice.He is a tarus and I'm a leo. I am older . Our psychie is identical with the exception of male female and some maturity. But primarily we are passionate, strong willed, sensitive, giving, feeling, analytical, creative, loving, thinkers. Our lifes positions are the same. Both in our personal lives and professional. I guess you could say we co-miserate (a word I made up) about where we are and where we want to be. THE QUESTION: From the first day we agreed to date, its been 100% awesome. Relaxed and cohesive. One day he blew up at me (no anger ever B 4 at me) for not knowing a password. Along with that blow up came how exposed he felt in that I could take advantage of him etc. He rambled for a while beating me down. My jaw struck the floor. I began to cry and went for a drive. Its a month later & hasn't been the same since, WHATS HAPPENED? What do I do? He hardly touchs me? he frowns more at me. Always defensive . I want what we had. HELP!?

Answer 1

First of all, you two need to talk about why he was so upset that day. It may not have been just you. If he had a bad day at work, or something happened, he may have just been venting on the nearest outlet...YOU.

Then talk to him some more. Include everything you can think of, how you feel towards each other, your jobs, your lives in general, what you want for the future, your sex life, finances, etc... See if there is anything left to build a strong relationship on. One bad day shouldn't ruin a good relationship.

By now you both should know that fights happen. You can't always agree. There will be plenty of arguments and disagreements in the future. You two need to find a way to work past them each time it occurs. If something as small as this one can break you up, then either split, or find a better way to deal. Yelling and running out of the house won't solve the problems, it only will make it worse. You two need to find a way to communicate with each other after the tempers settle down. Go ahead and fight, then walk away to separate rooms. Don't leave the house. When you both feel calm again, sit down and talk about what happened. If one of you did something wrong, then apologize to the other. Make sure that the second time around, you keep your tempers under wraps. The yelling should have taken care of the immediate anger the first time around. If it didn't, keep walking away until you can sit down and talk it out rationally.

You can't go back, you can only go forward. Relationships change and grow with each passing day. That's the way it should be, what's happening to you is normal. He's still upset over something. Find out what it is, what you can do to help fix it, and what you two can do as a couple to avoid it in the future.

Answer 2

I am a guy twenty one in case that makes a difference which ofcourse it does... anyway LOL I am sorry to hear about stories like these as far as all of that analytical stuff, thinker, etc. it is a proven fact that couple get along better with the oposite from what they are as the saying OPPOSITES ATTRACT really does have some validy.

However that does not help you as you are in quite a conundrum. Perhaps you need to weigh your options because you have been with this man for quite a while and you obviously want whatever it was you had BACK so please communicate with him ask him whats on his mind. Perhaps there is something going on which you have no idea and it might not have a thing in the world to do with you but maybe he ain't comfortable in talking to you for some reason...?

Get him to talk, maybe after a nice peacful dinner and a bottle of red wine or something like that.... Good Luck and persevere and go the distance too many couples call it quits :(

Answer 3

It sounds like he has some real issues to work out. You have to ask yourself the question whether you want to stick around and hope he can work it out, or leave before you get the sort of emotional abuse that could come out of the relationship.

He probably has some insecurity issues that most likely will require some counseling to get worked out. Not necessarily anything long-term, but just to try to get him on the road back to being a more balanced person. You have only been seeing him two months though, and this might be a red flag telling you that the two of you aren't going to work together (despite the initial compatibility.)

Either way, address the issue with him, don't let it sit there and fester until the relationship is beyond repair. Ask him what is going on that's bothering him so much. Be prepared to get a less than helpful response but be persistent. DO NOT NAG, but really do your best to try to figure out what's going on with him before giving up.

Communication is key in any relationship at any time, but it is especially so at the moment when good communication could mean the difference between a happy future together and finding yourself single and hurt. I wish you good luck and a happy future (with or without him)!

Answer 4

My partner is also a Taurus while I am a Leo.
Ahh the bad side of a Taurus!!
They often have high expectations,
They feel threatened easily,
are VERY STUBBORN
and will not be quick to want to talk (to their partner) if they have a problem...
If your partner had a breakdown or any sort of inner turmoil...Then you may have to wait for him to talk to you about this. Taurus people (as you know) can be very silent (even seeming broody at times) They want to work things out privately.
Cause they are so very private with their inner thoughts..laugh..
I have found talking my partner when he doesn't (*wanna*) talk is impossible..He gets really mad if he feels emotionally threatened.
My advice to you is to handle him with kid gloves for a while. Cut back on that Leo style creative criticism..He may be taking it badly. We can sound like real bitches and nags sometimes, when we are only trying to help..
Not that I am saying I think anything is your fault..
Just giving you another leo/taurus pointa veiw..
Good luck
:)

Answer 5

If not knowing a password is all it took for him to blow up, stop touching you, frown at you, and become defensive, what do you think you had with him?

Zodiac signs may be on target by the commonality of personality traits. If zodiac signs were on point, no one would need pre-marital counseling, and divorce would be non-existent.

Total compatability brought down by not knowing a password?

Ain't no way. It would be over with a swiftness.

Answer 6

Girl, you need to dump him. It was perfect at first, but maybe a little too perfect and he got bored...some people need to mix things up and do so by starting fights. He sounds like a psycho though, and he's not making you happy in this relationship. Take a break for a while...sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder and makes things feel new again. Better yet though, find someone who isn't emotionally unstable and insulting.

Answer 7

1.) "commiserate " is a real word, it means: to feel or express sympathy or compassion.

2.) Are you kidding me? Why do you care so much about a 2-3 month relationship? You're in your late 30's, you're not a teenager anymore. Why are you holding onto that relationship for dear life? Yeah, we all want to go back to the happy, happy times but that's not always possible.

Answer 8

I kind of agree with what Bin Laden said. You need to sit down and have a talk about what's going on. Maybe he was putting on an act with you and now the real person is coming out?

Answer 9

Sounds like coccaine, its a hell of a drug.

No seriously, only you know for sure what set him off. Perhaps you stepped on his toes or feels you did something inexcuseable against him. Judging from what you are saying I'd say sounds like money, but I don't know for sure.

You need to open a channel of communication after he cools down a bit.

Answer 10

I many times attempt to maintain my distance (and my mouth closed), as countless the stuff I say is rather actual misconstrued as "hateful" or "hurtful"... and that i do no longer decide to set off off an already ticking time bomb. yet while i'm around a woman and "the purple tide" (as my buddy calls it) is flowing, then i'm many times fairly fairly magnificent - to the factor of arising myself unwell. No offense Alabama followers.