My ex and I have been broken up for about a month now (we were together for over 2 years). We had some problems in the past, he has cheated on me before
(i forgave him and gave him another chance because he begged).
I wasn't able to trust him after that, I would always bring up that he has cheated on me in the past and I would always accuse him of doing so. For a while everything was cool with us until I saw that some girl was calling his phone, i asked him about it and he got mad (we argued) and told me he was tired of this **** and didn't care about the relationship. We broke up and I found out that he slept with the girl a few days after we had our argument. Do you consider him a cheater since it was right after we argued (broke up)? I checked his phone bill and he was talking to the girl for 2 weeks while we were together, but he says it was on a friend level. So do you all think that he was cheating? He said he slept with her because he was mad a me.
2006-09-01 17:42:40 · 26 answers · asked by Casey T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I talked to the girl he was with, she said they met in a club (hood rat), they talked on the phone, he didn't mention having a girlfriend. They only knew each other for 2 weeks (only talking on the phone) she's a slut and so is he. I don't think they talk anymore, he has called me but i dont answer. I feel like I want to get back with him so I can do him the way that he did me. Is he sorry for his actions?
2006-09-01 18:28:58 · update #1
Well, you know him better than anyone on here. If I were in this situation, than, yes, I would consider that cheating and here is why...
When you truly love someone, you do not sleep with someone else because you were mad at them. If you are coming out of a two year relationship you need to be absolutely positive that you are not getting back together before you sleep with someone else. Especially a few days after? No
Where is the time he spent grieving his loss of you?
What was he doing talking to this girl that he coincidentally slept with "just after" you broke up? What makes him think you should believe it wasn't before? He's already proven himself untrustworthy in the past. Again, the choice is yours, I do not know him, however, I did spend 8 years of my life with a cheater. He never changed. Ever. I've heard every excuse in the book, including that one. ( and the getting mad when asked, when you're not hiding anything...) It's so much easier said than done, but you may be better off moving on. I'm sorry. I know how hard these things are. At the same time, if you believe him and love him...if you want to stay with him, then follow your heart.
2006-09-01 18:02:57 · answer #1 · answered by feathereafter 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would consider this cheating. I'm willing to bet he slept with her before the argument as well. You don't go from "phone friend" to sleeping right away, somehting was existing there beforehand, and whatever it was, it was cheating.I don't think he's a keeper. If a guy gets mad, and his reaction is to sleep with someone else, then I sure hope you don't have any more arguments in the future, if you decide to keep him! What I can't stand is when men get mad when they are caught. They get mad that you checked the phone, get mad at you for asking questions, they transfer all the guilt at you instead of trying to apologize and reassure and own up to their screw-ups. Anyway, dump him.
2006-09-02 00:54:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since he slept with her 2 days after you to broke up he was probalby planing on cheating on you with her any way the break up just brought it that much closer to happen then if you would of stayed together be glad that he duped you before he cheated this time and what ever you do don't ever take him back he is a cheater and once a cheater always a cheater good luck hope you find a good man there are still some out there you just have to look for them
2006-09-02 00:48:54 · answer #3 · answered by christy b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but I think that if he cheated in the past and you started noticing that other girl on his phone he was probaly cheating with her while you guys were still together especially if he got super defensive when you asked him about it. Now he is realizing the mistake he made and trying to get you back. You can do so much better. Once a cheater always a cheater!
2006-09-02 00:47:28 · answer #4 · answered by *Amanda* 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well since you guys were broke up, IT wouldn't really be considered cheating, but what he did was rude, and he shouldn't have done that. He has no consideration for you, you shouldn't take what he is doing to you. I wouldn't be very happy about a guy talking to a girl and then having sex with her 2 days after we broke up.
By the way you said it, it doesn't seem like he should even have a girlfriend if he doesn't even care about her feelings enough. That shows he doesn't since he didn't care what you were feeling, and he went out and had sex with some other girl!!!
*Danielle*
2006-09-02 00:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle<3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it technically counts as cheating but it shouldn't matter. He was talking to her and reacted badly when you asked about it. He slept with her as soon as you argued so I think he was just looking for an excuse. Obviously, the "friendship" was far enough along that she went along with it when he got mad at you. She might just be a slut but I think most women would hesitate to have sex with a platonic friend right after he fought unless he was leading her on beforehand. He already cheated on you once. This time he thinks he found a way to have his cake and eat it too. Gey rid of this loser.
2006-09-02 00:56:07 · answer #6 · answered by Kuji 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, it sounds as though he was planning on sleeping with her anyway. Why the secrecy of having a new friend? Odds are he saw the break up as an oppurtunity to get some and not have you penalize him for it.
Whether or not he cheated is up to your definition. When he slept with the girl, he didnt cheat. You were broken up afterall. But he did cheat emotionally, he just hadnt taken the physical steps.
Anyways, let this relationship go. He cheated before and he will do it again, as evidenced by your question.
2006-09-02 00:51:50 · answer #7 · answered by dionne m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have children together?
If you do, then you have to deal with him for the next 18+ years.
If he's cheated, then he'll do it again, unless something terrible happened, such as, her pouring bleach all over his clothes. (ok, it happened to me) Still I wouldn't let him back for a while. You need to make him think he's lost you. He will try anything to see if he can get you back, so be wise. If he can break up with you and sleep with somebody else just like that, then something was going on long before you broke up. She came to him in a weak moment, and he fell for it. He's gonna have to do ALOT more than beg to win your trust again. If not, than girlfriend, it'll happen again and again. You can't keep ripping off that band-aid off that sore. Your gonna Half to come to a stopping point. One day, you'll say, I've had enough, and move on.
2006-09-02 00:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by sweet southern charm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he had cheat before on one occasion, he's a cheater and he proved to you he will do it over and over again by going to that other girl and sleeping with her just a couple days after fighting with you. If he loved you and care about you for real he should've been trying to you and work things out (for better or worse) instead of sleeping with some other girl.
2006-09-02 00:50:07 · answer #9 · answered by wanna_help_u 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure he did it cause he was mad and if he really didnt till ya broke up then no its not cheating but you also cant have a relationship w/ bein reminded every day of you screw up, its hard to forgive and till then there is no real relationship you will never forget, but if we cant move on from this we cant get over and beyond to have a great relationship, maybe him not bein in it any more is a good thing and you can move on and find someone better for you, I do believe he was prob. workin on doin.
2006-09-02 00:49:09 · answer #10 · answered by BRIAN J R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋