She said that since he's been in daycare since he wsa basically born he has always had to fend for himslef for attention or anyhing else in the midst of 15 or so other kids, so consequenlty he now is a bully and pushes / hits other kids... he's 18 months and very bug, my little guy is 13 months and since he has always been home with me or with grandma / other family he is just a sweet and playful little guy... I don't want to offend my childhood friend (whom I have not seen in 9 months -- she lives 2 hrs away), but I'm obviously not going to let anyone hurt or even bother my kid.
Any suggestions on how to handle? In the past, if cousins have gotten aggressive with my baby I watch to make sure it is not to the point of hurting him and then I just scoop him up, tell the kid "no more playing with you" and take the baby to another area. I don't want my kid to learn to hit or be mean, and obviously a 1 yr old baby cannot defend themselves (he just learned how to walk).
Thanks :)
2006-09-01 17:12:00 · 11 answers · asked by Finnale 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
take him off the tit .bully the bully.just teach him not to take **** and he will not receive ****
2006-09-01 17:18:58 · answer #1 · answered by mutt531 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your friend told you her son is a bully at the tender age of 18 months, ask her is she going to stand by and let your baby get beat up??? (slight exaggeration but I would say it anyway in a joking voice)
Ask her what has she done to try to stop his behavior because your baby is not used to being hit, shoved or having toys thrown at him. I mean I would simply have this kind of conversation with her, since she had no problem telling you about her little tyrant.
I don't know if I would drive two hours to visit someone like that in the first place. Have her to come to your home where your baby is on his on turf and see how her little one acts at your home.
If the play date does work out, it will be her gas and time and not yours. She has the problem, let her do the driving.
If you choose to go there anyway because it is planned that way, monitor the two at all times and tell the bully boy not to hit or shove your little one. Plan a feeding time and maybe a nap time. Put your baby on your lap, give him a bottle and maybe he will fall off to sleep.
Kids will be kids, so remember he really does not know what he is doing by hitting and shoving. His mother need to train him on how he should and should not act right now and not wait until he is six.
Let me reinterate what I said before. Try to keep your baby awake the whole ride or most of the ride. When you arrive to her place, your baby should be sleepy , then he can sleep the whole visit, therefore, he will not be able to play with your friends little "angel". :O
Hope some of this helps!!
2006-09-02 01:01:09 · answer #2 · answered by geminisista 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez. I think it is so incredibly sad that an 18 month old BABY is being labeled a bully. Babies can't be bullies. Labels are so damaging. Kids that age always need to be supervised with younger babies. Toddlers don't understand that they are causing pain to another child. They hit, push, bite, etc. That's part of being a toddler. I would let them be together, but be with them. Babies don't play "together". They play near each other. Babies take toys away from each other. That doesn't make them bullies. Even babies who haven't been hit will hit. It isn't likely that another baby is going to teach your baby bad habits. My second child had a little friend who would hit her when they were both 2. My daughter would walk away...NEVER hit another child...because that was her personality. Some toddlers hit more than others, but that still doesn't make them bullies.
However, a child who is labeled a bully and then isn't removed from the situation when they hurt another child will definitely learn to live up to his or her parents' expectation that s/he be a bully, based on what they grew up hearing and what behaviors were deamed acceptable. So, let your child be with your friend's child, and be a good example of loving behavior that shows positive expectations.
2006-09-02 01:38:36 · answer #3 · answered by CAFEhonor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was in your situation...
I would keep my kid close by... and not leave him unattended with the bully. If you see bad behavior (and your friend does nothing to stop it), take it into your own hands... and get down to his level and tell him to stop. There's something wrong with your friend if she's willing to take this behavior in her own child at such a young age. That's being an irresponsible parent.
I think it would be wise to also warn your friend that you will not tolerate your son being bullied... and that you've worked hard to raise a well mannered boy. As such, you will reprimand another child that is acting out is a civil way. If she has a problem with that... I think that's your cue that she's not that close of a friend.
You do what's in the best interest of your son... first and foremost. Worry about your friend's feelings later.
This is exactly what I would do... and I wouldn't give a second thought to it... no matter how close or old of a friend.
2006-09-02 00:35:48 · answer #4 · answered by VixenMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you already have the right idea. I would do the same thing. Watch to see the interaction between the two and then if the other gets aggressive, get your child and let your friend know that you won't allow your child to be treated that way. You don't want your child to get the point of hitting back or kicking. That will be a bad habit to break. Sounds like you are doing a great job already. Good luck and I hope the visit goes well.
2006-09-02 00:20:11 · answer #5 · answered by Lilah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do like you normally do .... watch and scoop if necessary. Hopefully the scooping is before and not after!!! Just kidding...
Seriously though, try just telling the child to play nicely. Its obvious his mom is not doing a good job if she has been aware of the problem and has not corrected it. Maybe she needs a friend like you. You know, ".....it takes a village to raise a child..."
2006-09-02 00:18:30 · answer #6 · answered by La Diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
iF SHE KNOWS HE IS A BULLY THEN SHE SHOULD BE WATCHING HIM (sorry damn caps lock) more close. You should have asked how she deals with it. Maybe a good idea would be to leave your baby with your mum and tell your friend he was sick and didn't want to get her child ill. Check out how bad he is before exposing your baby to him. You need to keep him safe as he is unable to defend himself at this age
2006-09-02 06:27:36 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd ask ur friend if she agrees with his behavior and if so that u'd like it if he son didn't play with your's till he could be calm and loving. explain to her you don't agree with that kind of behavior and if it gets to out of hand you may have to offend your friend and just leave u have the right idea about how to deal with it to this point and keep that up my son is in daycare alot and he isn't a bully he's is the sweetest 13 month old .. most of the time
2006-09-02 00:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by evillama4eva 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that if she told you that he is a bully to other children that she is kind of telling you that there is nothing she can do to stop it. I feel the same way about my children as you do and I wouldnt let someone be mean to them .Your son is not used to that and is not going to understand.
2006-09-02 00:16:25 · answer #9 · answered by eyescu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt take my child near another child that was a bully like that. I think your friend needs to do some serious talking with her child, it seems like shes like here aren't I proud that my son can fend for himself. PLEASE think of your child first
2006-09-02 00:21:54 · answer #10 · answered by wilowdreams 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋