I'm 27 going on 28 and have been single for quite a few years and haven't had any serious relationships since college. For the past few years I've been trying to meet people but have had repeated problems with people I've been meeting, perhaps that I'm going about it the wrong way but with very limited amounts of free time I wind up frequently meeting people through personal ads, sites and such and various other less traditional forums. I've had bad experiences at singles bars and at that general scene so quite frankly I've quit attending it.
I don't think the problem is that I'm unattractive though I have admittedly had some work done in the past few years, the problem is more or less that I keep meeting the wrong kinds of guys. I'm college educated with a masters degree and set very high standards and it seems perhaps that my standards are too high to some people. So when I've lowered my standards I haven't had much better luck either. Any suggestions?
2006-09-01 17:06:00 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
By the way, a lot of the problem is that my biological clock is ticking and as time has gone on the few friends that I have are slowly fading away from me starting their own families and such. I am not sure if this is normal but I just feel very pressured to settle down and I feel a great need to have my life be more complete. I've consulted with a few psychologists and none of them thought I was depressed but I'm really not sure where to go from here. I think I just need to meet the right kinds of people and I've had consistantly bad luck attracting the types of guys that I would like, or the guys I attract are those that just don't work out.
2006-09-01 17:07:56 · update #1
Let me tell you something ok? I'm very attractive, and have had to fight guys off all my life that ended up wanting just one thing. Do not lower you standards because you will be settling for something you will not want. Make sure your weight, makeup, and clothing work for you. When you meet someone you will have to decide if you can accept them as they are because it is what it is. You can not change them. You may want to try eharmony.com so you can meet college educated guys. You will not be happy based on looks. Looks fade, and intelligence is sexy!
2006-09-01 17:28:11 · answer #1 · answered by Credit Expert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you say you want to complete your life by finding mr right and settling down. Why is that? Is it because that is what you see others doing, or is it because that is what you really want? I would suggest to you to stop looking. Do things you like to do, like rock climbing or go on a safari vacation or whatever you are into. MAKE THE TIME for YOU!! It's good to find a guy that is into the same stuff as you so do what you are into. Don't focus on meeting someone, just let it happen when it's supoposed too. I'm guessing that you are meeting mr wrong because you are giving off a "I need a man now" vibe and the wrong type of man is picking that up. So you have high standards, why shouldn't you? I do too. There is a difference between lowering ones standards and PUTTING UP WITH whatever flaws your potential mate has, and ACCEPTING a few minor flaws that everyone posses. *Example* I am lucky enough to have a great guy. But he is far far from perfect. There are a couple things that bother me about him, but I accept them and love them as being part of him. Did I lower my standards to be with him? F*ck no why should I? Why should you?
2006-09-02 00:28:23 · answer #2 · answered by ravencrow163 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a master's degree, I am assuming you have a very high intelligence so have you ever tried to join Mensa? My thought is you need someone your intellectual equal and where better to find one than among other brilliant people? If you are only attracted to very good looking, confident guys then you may be looking for the wrong type. Go for the less than gorgeous guy who needs a good woman like you to bring out the best in him. My friend gave up her search for an Adonis and found a shy, funny looking little guy with a genius IQ and he was so thrilled by the attention he became and still is devoted to her and they have 2 fantastic kids and a great life. Never over look the over looked.
2006-09-02 00:21:59 · answer #3 · answered by jidwg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen honey, been there, done that, don't listen to that clock, its a trap! And don't settle for anything less. do not lower your standards because you feel your clock ticking. What you need to do is stop looking, and he will come to you, if its in the card for you to be married with children it will happen, don't fall for the first guy that might be a good husband, I did that and my first marriage failed, because I thought you were to move out, go to college , get a job and get married. He will come to you when you stop looking for a husband, look for a friend , and in a friend you will find your husband!!!
2006-09-02 00:24:03 · answer #4 · answered by Brezzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop looking so hard it will happen...Also you friends must have other friends, tell them your looking and they may know someone.....
2006-09-02 00:22:39 · answer #5 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋