My oldest daughter is 10. For lunch today they had an in classroom Pot Luck. My daughter was quietly saying grace before she ate. When her teacher asked her what she was doing she told her. The teacher told my daughter, that she was just wasteing time that there is no God. I got very angry when my daughter came home and told me. I wanted to go and confront the teacher. But my sister says to just leave it alone. I really don't want to, if the teacher does not believe in God, that is fine. But we are devote Roman Catholic. And I don't believe that it is the teachers place to put things into my daughters head. I need advise on what would be the right way to handle this. Thank You
2006-09-01 15:48:20 · 35 answers · asked by Kali_girl825 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hubby, high school teacher, says:
This teacher is wrong. I teach public school and I teach World History from the perspective of religious conflict. I will teach about religions, but do not teach one religion over another. I do not impose a religious view but respect the views of my students provided the students do not try to impose their views on their classmates. I do not see your daughter saying grace quietly to herself as imposing her views on others. But the teacher did intrude on your daughter's private time.
I would attempt to address this directly with the teacher as a pure courtesy. I doubt you will get far. This may be something that may have to be taken to the principal or superintendent... depending on how far you want to take it. My concern would be if the teacher imposes her personal religious views on your daughter, what other personal views are being imposed in educational instruction and fact.
As an afterthought, you may want to be concerned about this teacher's objectivity. You now know the teacher does not agree with some of your daughter's beliefs which could result in the teacher discounting much of your daughter's works and result in lower grades. Yes, some teachers are that shallow and will take any opportunity to pull a student down if they find fault with a student, no matter what the fault.
2006-09-01 16:03:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a touchy subject phenomenum. Lets try to break it down in different prospectives/factors. You say, "ANd i don't believe that it is the teachers place to put 'THINGS' in my daughters head". It is the teachers job to put "THINGS" into childrens heads. But is it only the things that YOU believe in? If she was a fanatical devote Catholic and gave her opinion/prospective of a certain contrversal view point would you feel as strongly that she is wrong?
Now being such a devote Catholic and YOU putting conditioned thoughts into her head I am sure will not much affect her/your conditioning. I am so sure that you have/are doing such a good job that she will let it pass and cling to what her mother teaches/practices.
But that is no garentee either for she may grow up to be or have a independant thinking nature then she will rationalize and choose her own concepts.
I can understand you getting angry and "go and confront the teacher" but think for a minute. Is that REALY a Christian Christ like reaction/attitude to have and teach your daughter when someone does not aggree with you?
It is true I feel that that was a comment the teacher should not have made but your reaction (probably in front of your daughter) is not a proper example of behavior to your daughter. I feel that was the good opportunity to calmly (without anger) to discuss your daughters feelings about it, present your Christian guidance.
I am more inclined to agree with your apparent level headed sister, just leave it alone. Making a big or esculating the issue can be more tramatic than the teachers remarks. Pluss it would show you as the bigger and more understanding God fearinig Christian, or relegious/spiritual person/parent.
Now I ask you, which view/image would you rather your daughter have of you?
2006-09-01 16:17:04 · answer #2 · answered by GERALD S. MCSEE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, remind me again what year is this? OK I am back with you.
To start with you daughter was not praying out loud, nor was she asking others to join her in prayer before the meal. This teacher was so far out of line, he/she should pray to God tonight that I am not your daughters mom.
Sure they have separated school and prayer. What does this teacher do when kids as I know and you know they do pray before a test. God heard a lot from me before a test.
And to berate your daughter and tell her that there is no God? I too was brought up in the Catholic Church and later sent off to a private catholic school, but we wont open that can of worms. I am sincerely mad for you.
Leave it alone? No way. I would collect myself and regain my composure no matter how long that took and the first letter I would fire off would be to the school system superintendent I would then send a copy of that letter along with another letter to the school principal, lastly I would send a copy of both of those letters and a personal letter to this teacher demanding, not asking this person to explain his/her actions. In the other 2 letters I would demand the same. I might also threaten to take it to the press and then give it some serious thought about doing just exactly that.
It is not like school teachers are the pillar of the community that we once thought they were. I live in Colorado and not a day goes by and I am not kidding on any level, not a day goes by that it is not on the news that a teacher was caught up in some type of inappropriate behavior.
Just as this teacher and I do use the term teacher loosely did to your daughter. That was very inappropriate behavior.
If this teacher is an atheist, that is fine, but just as you and your family do not push your believes on this person, making that remark to your daughter was VERY unprofessional and VERY out of line.
You simply can not let this slide. You might also go to your church and have a letter writing campaign started for a public apology to you daughter. She is owed at least that much. She was berated in a public manner, in school that is an embarrassing thing as you know other kids heard it as well, so a public apology is the very least you should be demanding from this person.
I am sorry your daughter was subject to this persons opinion.
2006-09-01 16:33:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to the Principal and tell her what happened and that you are offended because your daugter's teacher is actively preaching her religious belief that there is no G-d and that is as bad as any other religion preaching in the schools because there is separation of church and state-whereas your daughter was quietly minding her own business. I would also make clear that if it happens again they would be hearing from my attorney and follow up with a letter documenting what happened, your conversation with the principal and your feelings on the matter ccd to an attorney (can be a friend, not necessarily an attorney representing you) Your sister is afraid to rock the boat but I have found that teachers, like kids, test the waters and will often get away with what you let them get away with so playing nice can and does hurt you. As a former social worker for the Dept. of social services, I saw parents lose their kids because they tried to play nice. Don't play nice. Stand up for yourself and your daughter. You are right. The teacher is entitled to her beliefs but you and your daughter are entitled to yours and your rights were violated by this insensitive clod! Good luck!!
2006-09-01 15:58:28 · answer #4 · answered by Wildfire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my word - the teacher should of not done that but I think that the right thing to do is to praise you daughter for praying and let her know that even if the teacher says anything else to her she should just tell the teacher that she is proud to be a christen. I have to say that if that was my daughter I would have wanted to do the same thing, good job waiting, because no matter what you say to this teacher it won't make any diference. Good luck!
2006-09-01 15:56:17 · answer #5 · answered by Amber 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to her principal. The teacher has no right to say things like that. She does NOT need to be forcing her opinion on a 10 year old. (I am agnostic, and while I do not believe in a Christian God, I do feel everyone has a right to their opinion. There is a time and place to share that opinion, and an elementary school is NOT one of them.) If your daughter feels comfortable and wants to say grace, more power to you and your family! Good luck!
2006-09-01 15:53:21 · answer #6 · answered by emmadropit 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would report this to the principal's office, I don't think it would accomplish much by speaking directly to the teacher. She has the right to her opinion, but if your daughter has been raised to believe in God, then what the teacher said should not be a big deal. She just stated her opinion, she didn't tell her she could never pray again, nor did she force any other belief on her. I think you are overreacting, but if you must speak up about this, then report it to someone who can actually do something about it.
2006-09-01 15:53:39 · answer #7 · answered by Rexy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her teacher was very wrong, and your daughter has every right to pray when ever and where ever she pleases. You need to confront her teacher on this. In the USA we have freedom OF religion not freedom FROM religion. Staying quiet about this is what the world wants you to do. The world wants us to just sit back while they take all Christian rights away from us. I'm not saying that you need to go up there and yell at her. But you do need to make her aware of your strong religious beliefs.
2006-09-01 16:10:07 · answer #8 · answered by soda pop 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is wrong, you need to let the teacher know you dont approve of what she told your daughter, and that she is definitely over stepping her bounds. Too many times religious topics are swept under the rug, or "left alone" for fear of confrontation, but, thats the wrong way to look at it. People are always free with views on other topics. Religion is a freedom, and that teacher is a violator.
2006-09-01 16:01:02 · answer #9 · answered by Katz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call the superintendant of the schools and set up a conferece with you, them, the principle, the teacher and your daughter. I would make it clear to all of them that you will not accept this type of behavoir. This teacher was way out of line and if she gets by with it once who is to say she won't do it again. We had incidents when we transferred my kids from a Catholic school in a town that was predominatly Catholic to a small town that doesn't even have a catholic church and maybe one other family that is and they made comments to our kids during lent of how ridiculious it was to abstain from meat on friday and confronting them all together got it stopped real quick and a year later the kids haven't heard a single remark.
2006-09-01 15:55:41 · answer #10 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋