I'm getting married in a couple of months, or so I hope, and I know that I will need a Maiden of Honor. I always thought my best friend would be the person that I wanted to be there beside me...but we are no longer friends. I have another best friend who thinks that I am pregnant and doesn't want to partake in my wedding. I have explained to her that I am not, that both of us decided to wait on that. But now I am stuck...I have my two sisters who don't get along to well and I want my wedding to be perfect...so Should I ask my ex-best friend? I mean, we had been friends for over 9 years. Or Should I pick between my sisters? Or Should I just do away with the whole idea and let go of my dream wedding? Please help me decide what to do.
2006-09-01 15:32:10 · 26 answers · asked by Jai 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Honey, there is alot of responsiblity that comes along with being Maid of Honor. You have to throw the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, help make center pieces, make sure all the other bridesmaids get their dresses and shoes, etc. It's more like being enlisted in to slavery. (Still not sure why we call that an honor) Anyway, I've been in 19 weddings, 5 of them as Maid of honor and I should tell you that sisters make a better choice. And I would think more so in your situation. Reason being is that your ex-best friend is simply that...no longer your best friend, the other friend has issues with even being in your wedding. Sisters will know all the relatives to invite for the bridal shower, won't mind the pain staking ordeal of putting together flower arrangements and center pieces, etc. On top of that, years from now when you look back at your wedding album, your sister is still in your life....sometimes friends aren't. If you can't choose between sisters, then have mom or grandma do it, they would truly be honored you asked.
I wish you well and congrats on the wedding!
2006-09-01 15:45:23 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what I think. You should pick either the oldest of your two sisters or the one you're closer to, or chose both. It doesn't really matter. My fiance has two brothers so instead of chosing between them the are going to be co best men. I wouldn't ask either of your friends, if they're bailing on you know who knows if you'll even speak to them when the wedding comes around. Besides you really want someone reliable that you can trust to be there. Regardless if your sisters get along or not it doesn't matter. They're going to be invited anyway right?? Maybe this is what they need to bring them closer together. Weddings are not perfect, but when you look back at this day in 5 or 10 years, I'm sure you'll be happy to see that you had your sisters by your side.
2006-09-01 15:42:24 · answer #2 · answered by Tracy T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh this one's tricky and I feel for you!!! First of all there are no rules that you must have just one...but though this may be an easy out--unless the two are both well adjusted people who get along well--you may be asking for trouble down the line. IE: can they co-through a bridal party? Will they fight over who has the best centerpiece idea? And which one will you choose to stand up for you as a witness and sign your marriage certificate (One of the maid-of-honors duties) You think it's hard picking now....imagine piacking after they've both put in a lot of time and effort helping you plan your big day! And on the note of the marriage license....who ever signs it will be on your document forever. So if you get into a nasty fight in 2 years and don't talk to each other for the next 10...would you want their name framed on your way---or album for that matter? That's one of the advantages of choosing a family member. Familie's forever.
AND THERE IS NO PERFECT WEDDING! Things are going to happen. Be prepared for it. Plan your ideal wedding, go with the flow, and enjoy your day!
Good luck!
2006-09-01 20:26:06 · answer #3 · answered by Female Racer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't have a best friend at the time of my wedding either, we had a falling out over her talking crap over my now hubby...we used his best friend at the time that was a girl, her and I were friends. It's not written any where that you have to have a maid of honor..or you can have both your sisters as the maid of honor...it's your special day and all that really matters is that you and your soon to be hubby are there. What about your mom or do you have a aunt that is special to you?
2006-09-01 15:38:37 · answer #4 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choose whom ever you want to choose for your wedding. I repeat, Y-O-U-R wedding. It is really no onw else's business who you pick to be your maid(en) of honor becuase that side of the wedding is all about you. If you want a monkey wearing an Elvis suit or a carboard cut-out of a robot, you totally can. You just need to remind anyone who questions you or starts to get into your face about your desicion that this is your and your future husband's wedding. Not theirs. You can do whatever you want. Think back to anyone else whom you feel worthy to stand up there with you as your 'second-in-command' for your wedding. Another firend who was with you as you had your falling out with ex-bud? Was their someone who introduced you and your fiance? Remember, this doesn't have to be a girl. You can just as well have a guy or to even have two maids (so you don't have to play favourites with your sisters). Just remember: it is YOUR wedding. You get to call the shots.
2006-09-01 15:58:36 · answer #5 · answered by marquise_hari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I needed a Best Man. I had two very close friends that I grow up with. My problem was which to choose. I explained my dilemma to my mother, seeking her council. Her wisdom engulfed me once again. "Do nothing except pray about it for 3 days and you will know which. For it should be the one closest to you, your very best friend. And friendship is not easy to hold." I did as she suggested and in three days she inquired if I had received an answer? I informed her that I had. My Best Man and very best friend was and still remains today . . .My Father. A choice that seemed so overwhelming had such an obvious answer once I got out of my own way and listened for the answer.
2006-09-01 15:52:44 · answer #6 · answered by Brokenhearted & Confused 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask your next youngest sister to be your maid of honor. You won't regret it. You will have to live with your family all of your life. Do you really want to deal with having someone who is no longer your friend stand up for you instead of your sister? That's a lifetime of hurt that you can't change once you've done it.
2006-09-01 15:49:37 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pick which ever sister you are closest to. Your family will always be your family, even when your friends are long gone. I definitely wouldn't pick the friend that chose to pass judgment on you while thinking your pregnant. She should have been happy for you anyway and wanted to share in your day. Her loss now. And Best Wishes!!!
2006-09-01 21:57:16 · answer #8 · answered by Valkyrie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had a dream for a perfect day. dont let anyone ruin it. i think deep inside you know who u want. put aside all the reasons why u should not pick 1 over the other and just pick who u always thought of in your dream. tell them how much it would mean to you and tell them it would be perfect if they could do it
2006-09-01 15:36:35 · answer #9 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a rough choice.... you need to pick someone who you trust and who will be there for you. Traditionally the job of the M.O.H. is to be there for the bride, help her with every picky little detail, keep her organized, listen to her when she needs to talk about the wedding etc, and help her sneak out the back door if she changes her mind.
Now, which one of those people would you trust to do all that for you?
2006-09-01 15:36:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋