My sister and I have never met our biological father as he and my mother divorsed when we were only babies. We recently tracked him down and asked if he wanted to meet us and he said yes as long as we dont tell his 3 new sons who we are! He wants us to just say were are children of a friend of his. they are 11, 14 & 17. Do you think thats right as they are our 1/2 blood brothers. We have 4 children betwwen us and think the boys have the right to know theyre uncles. What do you reakon should we go along with it or wait until the boys find out?
2006-09-01 15:31:25 · 6 answers · asked by blahblahblah 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I guess if I had nieces and nefews out there I would want to know. I think that the best aproach would be to wait until the oldest boy is 18 and then aproach him with the situation. Let him decides what he will do with this information once he has all the facts. Well I will pray for the situation. Good luck!
2006-09-01 15:36:35 · answer #1 · answered by Amber 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, until they are adults I think it would be best to follow the wishes of their parent. However, once they are 18, I think it really is a moral choice that you need to make. Be prepared for whatever back lash may happen. You may anger your biological father so much that you may destroy any hope of a future relationship. You may damage his marriage--has he told his current wife that he has children from a previous marriage? The children may be traumatized and confused and may even be angry at him for not telling him the truth or not trusting them with the truth.
Personally, I think that lying is lying, and if they ask I would be inclined to say something like, "I would love to talk about that when you are older. But, for right now lets talk about other things."
2006-09-01 15:39:34 · answer #2 · answered by Misty B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should respect this man's wishes and not tell his boys. As a matter of fact, except for gathering a bit of medical and family history, I'd recommend you not get too involved with this sperm donor anyway. Leave his young kids alone and save yourself from further heartache. It's not worth it and you really don't have any right to dirsupt the lives of these young kids.
2006-09-01 15:36:57 · answer #3 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Listen to your father on this one.It would just be too weird for the 3 of you to just come out and tell these boys this.
2006-09-01 15:43:34 · answer #4 · answered by DiamondXxx 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If there are conditions for you to get to meet him, then I'd tell him to screw off. I've never met my birth father, either, and if he told me he had other kids that he didn't want them to know about me, I'd be pissed.
2006-09-01 15:47:27 · answer #5 · answered by IthinkFramptonisstillahottie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've never met him maybe he needs to get used to the idea that he's got daughters also, then maybe soon he'll be ready to tell them, maybe find out why he doesn't want them to know, but I feel yes they need to know.
2006-09-01 15:34:06 · answer #6 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋