stubborn toddler!!?

Question

she is 3 and hard headed. if you tell her no she pushes your buttons. she is so stubborn i find myself yelling at her. I put her in time out before i yell any more.
any thoughts on how to make her feel like she is in charge of the situation but i am really doing reverse phsycology?

Answer 1

Stop using time outs. These are a way for you to control her, not a way for her to learn self-control. Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privileges when your daughter misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if she throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If she makes a mess, she cleans it. If she breaks a toy, it goes in the trash. If she damages something in the home, she does things around the house to pay for the damages. Let the discipline fit the crime. A natural consequence for her back talking is that you do not want to be near her. You can say “If you are going to speak to me like that I don’t want to be near you. We can be together when you’re ready to be speak to me nicely.”

Another technique you can try when she is misbehaving is this. As soon as she misbehaves, get down to her level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take her gently by the hand and put her in a spot in your home (bedroom, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (stop hitting, listen, behave) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling her). She returns when she's ready to control herself. You may have to take her back to the spot a few times before she gets the message. Thank her when she behaves. Keep it up!

Notice her when she is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders and will help her to feel powerful in a positive way.

Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

Answer 2

Hard headed children need parent-time, and plenty of it.

Now, you don't need to let her walk all over you. First, start with offering choices: Do you want milk or juice with your snack? Do you want your bath warm or cold? Do you want bedtime with a story or without? This gives her control over limited choices, and immediately improves her sense of how much she controls (and maybe she'll stop trying to control you).

Second, instead of yelling or stating consequences, when you feel yourself "heating up," just start by telling her how you feel. "Amanda, I feel mad when you don't listen." Then, walk away for a moment or two to think about what else to say (unless, of course, it's a safety issue--like she's stubborn about walking too close to the street).

Additionally, did you know that anger and sadness have the same chemical basis in the brain? So, when you feel anger coming on--switch gears and let yourself react with sadness. "Amanda, I get so sad when you are stubborn. It makes me want to cry." The beauty of these statements (they are "I" statements and they are the basis of assertiveness) is that they will teach your daughter empathy--awareness for others' feelings.

You might also consider two books that are real gems--Love and Logic, and Kids Are Worth It.

Answer 3

Dont feel bad, my 2 year old is the same way!!!!! Dont let people tell you its the parenting there full of BS!!! It is a normal stage for children right around that age. But the only thing i would say is be set in your ways!! If you change your punishment or the crime(so to say) they get confused and will push harder! Goodluck and have a great time with your child!

Answer 4

She's three and is looking for your attention. I tell my friends this all the time....SPEND MORE ONE ON ONE TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN.

you can't do stuff like the dishes or laundry while talking to them.that's not one on one. Stop what your doing and read her a story...just 30 minutes a day and YOU WILL SEE RESULTS. After the 30 minutes talk to her about what you want her to do now. After you play you can even talk to her and how she 'pushes you buttons" and why that upsets you.

She will appreciate what your doing and start to behave better. It's hard being a mommy but try your best and hopefully she will grow out of it.

Answer 5

I have a 4 1/2 three hundred and sixty 5 days previous. He does no longer have mood tantrums, thinking the actual undeniable reality that at age 2, I suggested him that mood tantrums do not paintings, positioned him in his room, and walked away. finally he received the muse. Now, commonly he receives loud, or cries, even if all i ought to do is communicate to him: if i ought to scold or ask him why he did not come to Mommy and ask for help. He has discovered that communication is taken into consideration necessary to getting what he needs. he's no longer an outstanding boy, I probable ought to be certain he's doing what I ask, I even if ought to assist him in picking up toys, he throws issues, receives mad at his sis or bro and breaks their lego concerns, receives into stuff, and on the rare social amassing wets his mattress - frequently even the neatest little ones have worry with pottytraining. yet, at age 2, I informed him he necessary to continually keep my hand even as crossing the line, and he in any respect circumstances did. At age 3, he sat interior the cart even even as he wanted out: and after I did enable him out, the slightest wandering had him sitting interior the cart once more beneficial. So, my diagnosis? the mum or father can ought to dismiss tantrums, they many times do no longer. the mum or father ought to get rid of the toddler for snatching and grabbing, they many times do no longer. The mom or father can ought to positioned the youngster in mattress for throwing concerns, or vacation (or maybe if works maximum proper) they many times do not. Sounds too formed, like a guardian who receives the youngster on upload and ADHD remedy, even as each and every of the toddler necessary change into proper powerful interest and huge proper practise to coach the desirable habit.

Answer 6

sounds like she's trying to get some attention. Sit and play with her for 30 mins, but let her be in control of play time. She might be a leader-type. Uh Oh. you got your hands full! At least she'll have lots of friends!!!

Answer 7

It's like she's a teenager. She's learned that she has some control over situations.

The trick is to give her very few options...don't ask her opinion about things like do you want a bath now.....you'll need a lot of patience.....make sure she gets plenty of rest.....don't let her see that she's got you upset or frustrated......know that this to shall pass. Good luck

Answer 8

she want your attension very bad and the other thing is its a childhood stage you can solve this problem by loving her not yelling at her if you will get stubborn like she is she will continue it but if you gonna get poliete and love her she will think that her mom loved her so much and will stop doing wht shes doing play with her love her and the problem will be solved..

Answer 9

She doesn't need to think she is in control. You are the parent. If you can't make her behave at 3, what do you think it will be like when she is older?

Answer 10

You just answered your own question. But, have you ever thought that she's feeling she doesn't get enough attention and is having this behavior to get the attention she wants?