2006-09-01 15:30:07 · 17 answers · asked by ? 6 in Food & Drink ➔ Other - Food & Drink
Fig Newtons are neither a cookie nor a marsupial. They represent an unfortunate (not to mention illegal in 36 countries) encounter between an inebriated Australian and a rare species of albino opposum.
The offspring of this union have continued to inbreed to the present day, producing more and more bizarre genetic mutations. Besides the aforementioned Fig Newtons, this includes (but is not limited to) the following:
Kebler elves; several US politicians; the Yugo car; any form of poultry served with raspberry sauce; Michael Jackson; reality TV; and last, but not least, Hilary Duff.
If you ever need any more information, please feel free to contact me. We have lots and lots of time here at the Home for such things.
2006-09-01 15:43:15 · answer #1 · answered by Wolfeblayde 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, dear, my alleged mother may have been a marsupial. I hope I'm not a cannibal!
Oh, Cripes, they taste like bloody ***** with fava beans and I nearly gagged on the chianti. Must be a cookie.
I have a fig newton of a different colour living next to me. Nice enough chap unless you happen to call him by name when he's cross-dressing, especially when he's on a date with an unawares conservative. That seems to generally spoil the mood for both of them, for some odd reason.
(I just read the other responses after I scribbled mine. I like to do mine first so as to keep a blank mind, like that's any sort of major obstacle for me. I'm rather fond of wolfblayde's answer.)
2006-09-01 15:56:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cookie for $1000 Alex
2006-09-01 15:36:52 · answer #3 · answered by Judas Rabbi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may not be old enough to remember but Fig Newtons are fruit and cake. It was a commercial on the TV.
2006-09-01 15:49:45 · answer #4 · answered by carmen d 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hehe a marsupial is... like, a mammal that can carry its newborn in little pockets . like a kangaroo.
hehe. that'd be scary, if your Fig Newton came to life :-D
"The Fig Newton (in Europe, a Fig Roll) is a soft, cake-like pastry filled with fig jam"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fig_Newton
2006-09-01 15:34:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definetly a marsupial, yeah, definitely
2006-09-01 15:33:31 · answer #6 · answered by hipichick777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like crushed ants in a cookie to me
2006-09-01 15:35:32 · answer #7 · answered by D-Train 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
newtons are cookies, figs are fruits
2006-09-02 03:11:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fig newtons? Oh. Those are dinosaurs.. no no wait.. oh those are felines. Wait, fig newtons? Oh yah, no those are dinosaurs.
2006-09-01 18:11:21 · answer #9 · answered by ananswerer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Better a cooking IN your pocket than a cookie WITH a pocket
2006-09-01 15:39:26 · answer #10 · answered by W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋