How can I talk to my nut job of a mother?

Question

I have tried and tried, but whenever I bring up something she had done the made me upset she attacks me! Then she brings up stuff like, "I do too support you! I took you to that Cross Country Meet!" Then thats usually followed by an insult. She only does Motherly things so I can't say she completley sucks. She never respects me and her to I'm just her annoying son. She invades my privacy and all she ever does is insult me! She'll insult me over stupid stuff like me recieving a phone call and me not knowing the caller. I'm tired of being her mistake. How can I talk to my mom about the way i feel or how can I get her to respect me a little more?

Hey faqsphinx you didn't read at all did you? Yeah you didn't. My mom isn't that type to actually give out gratitude.

Answer 1

It's tough living with a parent who is hyper critical. You sound like a smart kid to me. I think she must not know how good she has it. She could have a kid who goes out and commits crimes and doesn't give a rats behind about her opinion. In a case like this, you may not have much you can say to her to make her listen. You can TRY writing her a letter. Put it in her purse so she'll find it when you're not around. If she reads it privately... she may have time to think about what you're trying to say before you're face to face, and she won't have a chance to get defensive before she even hears what you're trying to tell her.

Answer 2

Treat your mother with love, deference and respect. Given time she will appreciate this about you and you will be treated better by her in turn.

Think of all your problems that she has solved. Think of all the things you have done that she has saved you from.

She has done way more for you than you have done for her. Show her gratitude. Go out of your way to make her life better, like she is doing for you right now, and you will understand her better.

This will bring peace between you and your mother, and when there is no arguing everyone can listen clearly.

If there is a topic that causes you to argue with her, don't bring that topic up when you do not have to. Wait until you establish peace with your mother.

Your friends did not mop up your vomit and nurse you back to health when you were too sick to stand up.

If you need the support of a friend, go make a friend. Your mother is not your friend.

Answer 3

I'm speaking as a mom but here goes
You say you've tried and tried, have you ever had a heart to heart with her like you've put forth in this question? Maybe try to SCHEDULE a meeting with her. Here might be some ground rules:

1.Schedule it at yours AND her convenience (Remember, she's undergoing stress too); Don't DEMAND the time; schedule for, say Sunday night; If that doesn't work leave it go at that, just reschedule (Remember, no insults).

2. You could start out by saying "Mom, I really appreciated it when you took me to the cross country meet."

3. Don't let her treat the meeting as a joke or light hearted. Tell her "mom, when you say. . .(the insult). . ., it really hurts me."

4.Let your feelings known--don't put her on the defensive though; You've done a good job explaining them here try rehearsing that at home.

5. A few "I love you's" won't hurt--in fact it'll really TOUCH HER.

In the end, as parents and kids WE ALL want to be appreciated and loved.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

I used to get interrupted when I lived at home and tried talking to my parents...I started writing them letters, and leaving them where they would find them. I figured no matter how mad the letter makes them, they aren't going to stop reading because they want to know what else you have to say. By the time they were done reading it, I would be getting ready for a talk. They would say that they didn't know I felt like that, because they never gave me the chance to finish speaking...I got a lot through to my dad like that who was really hard to talk to...(he's the dad that says "because I'm the parent" and the conversation is over). I would say try writing a heartfelt honest and open letter, I think you'll get a positive response. Good Luck

Answer 5

It's all about communication.
Go to this website now. http://www.relationshipjourney.com/dialtips.html
Read the article "Intentional Dialogue". Have your mom read it too.
I promise you it is not a waste of time. It really works the 1st time you try it. But it seems really awkward at 1st just keep it up, you will find the experience will change your relationship with your mom almost overnight.

Answer 6

We'll, I can only say to obey her every whim, give in to her, Admit that you are wrong either if you are or aren't. Butter her up a bit, when she thinks higher of you, ask her about the rules or the things she get's mad at you about so you can prevent them in the future.
I live in a good home, I can't really help to the fullest.

Answer 7

Say things like, "At least I didn't get knocked up at 17." or, "Not all males are asshol es, just the ones YOU sleep with." or "You'll be sorry when I move out, 'cause then you'll be the only man around here." or, "I sure am a son of a *****, ain't I?"

Those should get you rolling towards a better relationship with your mother.

Answer 8

Sounds like you and your Mom are playing archaeology, (digging up the past) which neither of you can change. It is over. Put it behind you. Consciously change your attitude and behavior toward her. It will cause a change in her. I promise.

Answer 9

i feel for you but just dont say any thing that makes her upset.

Answer 10

respect her and she will respect you. You can try to reason with her. Hug her tell her you love her.