Parents who spank: what is a reasonable spanking?

Question

I am mid 30s now but by the time I was about 10-14 years old when I got it, it was usually 15-20 smacks over my jeans with a wooden spoon. It definitely got my attention but did no noticeable damage other than slight redness for a few hours and considerable soreness for most of a day. These spankings were very effective (they didn't happen that often) but by no means abusive from my perspective. But people are so worried about abuse these days one must be careful not to leave marks.

Did I get it too hard...or too easy...or somewhere normal?

Actually my Mom's wooden spoon hurt a lot! it was long and the pain is concentrated in a narrow spot. Believe me I felt a belt several times as well...typically the same 20 licks or so.

Answer 1

your parents were right on the money. i would give blood to see parents be like that again. children must be spanked there's no doubt about it. the guidelines for myself are as follows, .....the fanny only, as many licks as it takes to get the point across, and do not draw blood. for me, it's ok to use a wooden spoon, a flat shoe, a belt, a fly swat, my hand, or a paddle. spankings are good and more children should receive them and we would not be having a lot of the problems that we are seeing today. spank on dude.

Answer 2

I am 53 and I remember the wooden spoon, also my dads belt too. In order to get spanked like that I had to do something really bad. I got the spoon one day when I was 4 and left my yard and walked half way down the street, I deserved that.
Even with my grandkids, I will spank there behinds when they get into something that they should not. Spanking is not abuse if it is done with love. I know that sounds silly, but if my child walks out in the middle of the street when cars can come by and hit him, he will get his behind spanked. I would rather a red butt child than no child at all. You sound like you are on top of things, just keep doing that and be firm and give love.

Answer 3

I think you got it normal. i agree w/ jag272426. I was spanked pretty hard a few times in my day. (wooden spoons, spatulas, belts...) I love my 'rents, I know they love me and I know I sure as hell didn't act like a fool like you see some kids do in public. Some people will take it too far and those are the ones who have ruined it for the rest of us. I think kids need more than "time out" or " no tv" They won't care about that stuff next time they are tempted to do something wrong. When they think of Mommy or Daddy with a belt in their hand saying "turn around", then they might think twice.

Answer 4

you got a wooden spoon? I think you got it easy. I got the belt! And not over my pants either! :-0 I remember my father pulling my pants down - IN FRONT OF COMPANY and I think that was what did the trick.. the embarassment.. and when my father said he would make me so sore that I wouldn't be able to sit down for a week.. HE KNEW what he was talking about!
But there is a considerable amout of tolerance these days.. I'm not an expert my any means, but I wonder if that doens't have something to do with the crime rate..
But at either rate, I don't see any harm in it, if you don't leave more than a redness and soreness.. And if it doesn't happen that often, that's better than if it were on a daily basis.
Mine were not all the time either..

Answer 5

I am in my 30's also and although it is hard fo rme to judge anyone I say you got of easy and no I don tfeel it was abuse.I am a foster paren ts osthis stheory is totally against DSS rules but I wa sraised getting wore out I mean belt pants optional and I tried t obe good so I would get a beating so I didnt get tht many but those I got made me think before I messed up again I guess I am saying do what you feel is best but by all means one rule of thumb do not physically punish while you are made it 99% of the time will get out of hand

Answer 6

In my opinion you should never be spanked as a child. I was spanked a few times, and i think i spanked my son once or twice, it made me feel so ill i never did it again. I began to think about spanking after that incident. Did the spankings i get make me listen: yes. Was it because I respected my parents after being spanked? No, it was fear, not respect that I felt. Did i feel justified spanking my own son? No, i realize that it was just me losing control, it takes a better parent to think up alternative ways to teach a child. Honestly, I feel that spanking makes a child lose a little bit of trust, and being hit hard, like slaps on the face, belt spankings also, can break a child's spirit. No, I wasn't ruined because of the spankings that I got, but honestly, they taught me nothing.

Answer 7

Boy, all these people thankful that they got spanked. I was smacked pretty severely, thankfully not with a weapon as the questioner was, but I committed myself never to hit my own children. They get punished often enough if they misbehave, by being deprived of what matters to them (and there is plenty to choose from), and they get rewarded for good behaviour.

So I don't know what's normal and what isn't, and I daresay smacking works in some ways. I also expect I could get my wife to do what I wanted her to do if I smacked her around a bit, but no-one should use violence to force someone else, least of all someone else who is weaker. That goes for parents and children.

Answer 8

too hard on you not hard on parents, I was spanked till 9 (that is when I finally laughed at my dad after my swatting, he figured it was the end of my physical dissaplining and gave up from my lack of fear or tears).
anyway I was taught that (and i did this w/ my kids) you spank kids w you BARE HANDS, not objects, because the parent also must feel some pain (via the palms) in the acting because they are part blaim for their kids actions (good or bad).
using a instrament is the wussy way out of it, so carry on good guy!

Answer 9

Don't spank your children, it does more damage than good.
Spanking can be humiliating for children, can cause anger and resentment, and does not necessarily teach the lesson you're trying to convey. For these reasons, the American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend spanking. There are many other ways to discipline your child effectively, including using timeouts, modeling appropriate behavior for children, and helping children understand the connection between actions and consequences.

Answer 10

I am 28, I got spanked everytime I did something wrong also, with a belt, a wet belt, a paddle which broke! And I thank God every day that my parents whipped me. It made me who I am today! Society today sucks! Your kids are not your kids anymore one spank in a public place and they call cps on you. That is why all the kids are wearing what they want and doing what they want nowadays!