My ex goes into rages about him being forced to pay child support when he should just be given the chance to pay on his own. Everytime we speak he sets up these senerios where I can come to court and call it off or if I continue with this, he will just stop acting like dad all together, pay the money and not interact with my son. Opportunities were given for him to pay like he should have and he refused to cooperate and this is the reason for his situation now. He has only had a relationship with my son for a year now out of the 7 years of his life. I really value the time my son has spent with him and see lots of improvement in my son now that his father has been involved. Tonite, my ex refused to listen got mad said he is paying the money and wants nothing to do witih me or my son, cussed me out and hung up in my face. All this after he promised my son a visit. Should I report his behavior to the judge, what should I tell my son who adores his dad, isn't this abuse?
2006-09-01 14:15:22 · 16 answers · asked by nene 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I would suggest you find some more appropriate male role models for your son. You obviously can not count on his father to fill the role.
2006-09-01 14:49:51 · answer #1 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's capable of paying without being impoverished and wants a life with his son, get a lawyer. If he's stretched financially and a life with his son is fading, get a lawyer. In any situation, you have a guy who is resent full of the child support system and will most likely be from now on. If I could manage without the money and he seemed to be a 'disappearing dad', I would plan a new life without him and his money. BUT... leave the court order for child support in tact because that will be your leverage should you have trouble with him down the road. Tell your son that YOU love him very much.
2006-09-02 00:41:39 · answer #2 · answered by cadee884 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the court is handling the child support situation, let them. Don't discuss it if it is a hot button issue with the two of you and jeopardizes his realtionship with your son. Also keep a journal with the dates and times and detail of the convo, to show a judge if you are ever in court again. If the ex constantly brings up the child support issue just tell him it's out of my hands the court is taking care of that. Tell him that your son has nothing to do with the decision the court makes and he would really enjoy spending time with him.
Don't be a B. Even if you want to. If you two are never getting back together, you need to become civil.
2006-09-01 14:27:50 · answer #3 · answered by lovelibutterfli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say have the court continue to garnish his wages and make him pay child support, he is after all the natural father and he by law is entitled to care for his child. I understand that the child does need to have his father in his life but think about this do you want your child to behave in the manner which your ex behaves? Because this can happen if he hangs around and your son sees his daddy disrespecting his momma then he is gonna think that this is okay. You can also do this tell him fine you want to behave this way and have no contact with you child and just pay support? Then stick to our guns and dont let him see or speak to him. If he demands that he wants to see his son then tell him that he can if he agrees to your rules and to respect you and too keep that arguing away from yalls son. Good Luck!
2006-09-01 14:33:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely report it. It's a shame small-minded 'men' like this are out there.
Regardless of how he feels about you, the 'system', or the amount he has to pay... to present the options as "don't make me pay and I'll be involved in my son's life" or to not...
despicable.
truly.
Having a male figure in a young mans life is an important part of growing up -- but it's not life-or-death.
Having a low-life who's willing to not see his son to save money, well, there's just no way to respect him. I spit on that attitude.
I love my boys, and I don't understand how any dad could say this, so:
get the judge, an attorney, or whomever involved and get your child support.
If he really doesn't want to be part of your son's life after that: move. get away from his venom and start anew.
2006-09-01 14:24:35 · answer #5 · answered by jon_r_patrick 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely, report him to the judge! This guy is going to be nothing but a bad influence on your son with this kind of attitude. He is the one playing extortionist by forcing you to choose between your son spending time with him and him paying for his support. I am a father and I don't car WHAT you did or did not do to him your son deserves better than this garbage from him. You can't force anyone to love anyone but you can force him to pay. He obviously does not love your son so make him pay, and spare your son the indigtity of spending time with a father who does not love him anyway.
If your ex, after being forced to pay support, still comes to visit his son, then maybe he loves him after all. MAKE HIM PAY!!! It's his son!
2006-09-01 14:28:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the judge can't make him see his son but he can make him pay child support. I am actually going through the same thing with my ex right now (child support). He told me and told me he was going to give me money time after time and never did. Now I have gone through ORS. Before child support was an issue he never really wanted to see her but now that child support is an issue now he wants more time but honestly I only think it's so he won't have to pay as much. DON'T GIVE IN TO HIS THREATS! You deserve and so does your son so much more.
2006-09-01 14:27:11 · answer #7 · answered by mommy@18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to fu@% off then, and definatly tell the judge , its abuse of your little boy and blaten disrespect of you the mother of his child. You can't waste your time arguing child support with an idiot like that!!! If he's too stupid to get the meaning of child support now, he'll never get it. the child is 7 yrs. old already! good luck girl and don't take any crap from an asshole!!! LOL p.s I'm a single mom of four beautifull kids and have been through and still going through the same crap, so I can simpethize w/ you
2006-09-01 14:40:17 · answer #8 · answered by LeeLee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya Can't Change PPL, They Have To Change Themselves.....Maybe He'll Realize How F-ed Up He Really Is Before Lil Man Is Grown?
2006-09-01 14:24:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, by all means report it. This man isn't right in the head. I think you value that one lousy year of time spent with your son because you feel it is good for him, but is it really? I sure feel for you. Don't let him off the hook, please. Be strong and hold your ground hon.
2006-09-01 14:23:18 · answer #10 · answered by el 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋