Let's hear some funny ones.
2006-09-01 14:04:39 · 37 answers · asked by serengetimonster 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Some people's faces could launch a thousand ships. If that is true, you caused the Titanic to sink.
You're so ugly and annoying not even your rice crispies will talk to you. They go "Snap...crackle...holy crap, you are some kind of ugly!" and go silent.
Your mother just tried to sell you to me on eBay, but I don't want to waste the four cents.
Your wife isn't bulemic, she just has to look at you.
When you were born, the angels sang...bad country western music.
You make a piece of bread look like a genius.
You are able to defy the laws of physics...if I dropped you and two other people off the top of a building, you wouldn't all land at the same time. You're so stupid you'd have to stop halfway down to get directions.
You're able to get out of getting speeding tickets. The second the officer sees your picture on your driver's license, he or she goes into a coma.
You make Michael Jackson look like a saint.
At least you make your trailer park proud.
Your only companion is a cockroach you found in your refrigerator. Her name is Shirley and she secretly hates you and plans to kill you in your sleep.
Shirley is SOOO much smarter than you!
If I took you, a hobo, and a football player and did a smell test, the other two would smell like daisies compared to you.
You're so fat, that whenever you wear your favorite yellow raincoat, people run over to you yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"
You think Donald Trump is the hottest thing coming.
2006-09-01 14:21:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The real problem here is your using this board as a venue to seek a resolution to a problem that you should really be able to handle on your own! How could you really think you could find what you are looking for? You really need to re-evaluate what you seek and the answers you will receive. You certainly would impress me as a more intelligent person, so, I wonder how you could stoop to a level and publicly subject yourself to such opinionated response? Next time, use more self introspection and treat yourself with more respect.
2006-09-01 14:15:20 · answer #2 · answered by brucenjacobs 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i might say try taking a tub accepted yet exchange the lotion you employ after your bathe considering the fact which you have dry epidermis. good creams incorporate cetaphil (they have ones that take care of eczema), aveeno, and vaseline. For feeling clean, positioned on deodorant, that'll help with the sweat. Drink lots of water so your physique can refresh itself. for greasy hair, i'm unsure if there's a restoration to that because of the fact anybody's hair style is different yet try finding up shampoos that help with your hair style.
2016-12-11 19:19:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Not the brightest bulb in the box.
Few fries short of a Happy Meal.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Fell outta the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
A boyle on the butt of humanity.
An argument for birth control.
2006-09-01 14:18:37 · answer #4 · answered by nyboxers73 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have hereby insulted in a clean creative manner.
2006-09-01 14:34:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How about, "You should only grow headfirst in the ground like a turnip."
Or maybe, "May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind orphan children persue you so far over the hills and the seas that God Almighty couldn't find you with a radio telescope."
Can't claim them - I'm not that creative.
2006-09-01 14:15:06 · answer #6 · answered by silverrebelle 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Aren't you ever tired of having yourself around?
You are a man of rare intelligence - so rare that it seldom sees the light of day.
2006-09-02 00:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by U.K.Export 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no friends, Your family left you because you are an unwanted piece of chit and everybody doesn't want to give you money because you are an apple !!!! you will never be a success in life because you are an apple !!!! Apples should be the homeless people !!!! Ohh yeah and you will never have kids because you have no ballz !!!!! Ohh yeah and shower atleast once a year !!!! PPPPPPPEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUU
2006-09-01 14:09:35 · answer #8 · answered by ChiefNickNameadvancer 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Zen Marko is soooooo dumb, he got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the W's!!!
2006-09-01 14:07:33 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't do that. What you ask for is some what impossible. Unless you have a very creative vocabulary.
2006-09-01 14:10:34 · answer #10 · answered by novagirl117 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋