Has your Minister encouraged you to continue working on a relationship with an abusive spouse or parent?

Question

Has anyone ever been in an abusive marriage, or had abusive parents from your childhood, that your minister has encouraged you to CONTINUE trying to develop a close relationship with?

However, you prayed on the matter, and chose to distance yourself from these loved one's because their presence was toxic in your life?

After doing so, did you find that you made the right decision? Did your life improve? How did your minister react to your unwillingness to heed their advice?

I believe in forgiveness, but I do not feel it is always safe, healthy, or needed to continue working on relationships with abusive people who are not willing to communicate, and have been abusive towards you for years. What are all of your thoughts?

p.s. I'm especially interested in hearing from christians who have had to end relationships with an abusive parent.

Answer 1

It all depends on the situation. I would suggest the book of Bondage breaker.
Also Purpose Driven Life book by Rick Warren tells a little about that. Like some relationships are not fixable.
As God hates divorces, but He also hates where you are at if you are suffering.

Answer 2

because of the fact some have no shallowness and experience valueless. i'm no longer asserting that to insult or offend absolutely everyone, yet that's a shown actuality. They experience like they can't do any "extra helpful" or they can't fend for themselves in the event that they're on my own. that's a unfavourable cycle. maximum people who've abusive spouses have of their previous been abused the two spiritually, verbally, bodily or emotionally till now of their existence...that's a existence-variety for them. no longer all, yet some and individuals that have not been subjected to abuse are afraid to initiate over or get that abusive better half offended back. Battered and abused women individuals might desire to seek for help by using their community police dept. the place there are counselors and centers to help them by using a very frightening time of their existence... EDIT: TO: "MyLittlePhony"....that's the main terrible and untrue piece of understanding I even have ever seen. you shouldn't be answering questions which you do no longer understand something approximately..that's a horribly mean and offensive element of say approximately abused human beings. WOW.

Answer 3

If abuse is present it should not be tolerated. Get out. Now.

On the other hand, if abuse is not present and it's just a bad relationship, it probably should be worked on. For example, in marriage, sometimes people need to remind themselves why they got married in the first place. It may be that they've simply developed the habit of looking for the bad instead of looking for good.

Answer 4

Only 15% of abusers who seek treatment make any progress at all. Most don't even think they have a problem so don't get help. Of the ones who show progress, none -ZERO- has completely quit their abusive behavior. Moral of the story is don't stay. An abusive marriage is NOT being a martyr for Christ.

Answer 5

No, in fact my priest gave me a deadline for praying for a miracle. I had been praying my entire adult life for a miracle and I don't think I would have had the courage to leave had it not been for my priest.

After he said that, I kept praying and praying, and my husband kept getting worse and worse. Then I realized that it was like God hardening pharaoh's heart so that the Jews would leave slavery in Egypt.

Right now, I am still wandering in the desert, and my kids are sometimes doubtful about leaving, just like people doubted Moses. I know I did the right thing. I know my marriage was just a sham and that my husband never meant his vows. I have faith that God has good things planned. He is all that I trust.

Answer 6

I think you have a point. If I were a minister, I would hardly counsel the abused to continue on such if i do not believe the abuse would stop.

Answer 7

All I know is that if a parent or spouse becomes abusive, you need to GET OUT immediately.

Answer 8

This is true love for a Child, read it carefully though, Old English can be tricky if you aren't used to it:

1 Kings 3:16-28 (King James Version)

16Then came there two women, that were harlots, unto the king, and stood before him.

17And the one woman said, O my lord, I and this woman dwell in one house; and I was delivered of a child with her in the house.

18And it came to pass the third day after that I was delivered, that this woman was delivered also: and we were together; there was no stranger with us in the house, save we two in the house.

19And this woman's child died in the night; because she overlaid it.

20And she arose at midnight, and took my son from beside me, while thine handmaid slept, and laid it in her bosom, and laid her dead child in my bosom.

21And when I rose in the morning to give my child suck, behold, it was dead: but when I had considered it in the morning, behold, it was not my son, which I did bear.

22And the other woman said, Nay; but the living is my son, and the dead is thy son. And this said, No; but the dead is thy son, and the living is my son. Thus they spake before the king.

23Then said the king, The one saith, This is my son that liveth, and thy son is the dead: and the other saith, Nay; but thy son is the dead, and my son is the living.

24And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword before the king.

25And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other.

26Then spake the woman whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and she said, O my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it. But the other said, Let it be neither mine nor thine, but divide it.

27Then the king answered and said, Give her the living child, and in no wise slay it: she is the mother thereof.

28And all Israel heard of the judgment which the king had judged; and they feared the king: for they saw that the wisdom of God was in him, to do judgment.