My step dad?

Question

my step dad acts so stupid. my mom is prego and he controls everything she does. i hate it. the other day she was playing withh my brother and she stumbled so he made her stop.

He acts so different when my is around. when she is around he is Mr. Nice Guy,, but when she is at work and he is home, we havve to clean and the house has to be perfect by the tiime she gets home (wich t can't be scince we arrre re-modeling our whole house) how do i deal with this. He makes all the final choices and i cant stand it. I know im only 13 and there isnt much i can do, but what can i do???? please help.

Answer 1

My step-dad was pretty awful also growing up ~ spent alot of time in my room and with friends and waited till the day I turned 18 so I could get the H*** out! Not much you can do as your mom will probably think you are exaggerating - just try and stay out of his way as much as possible - I do feel for you! good luck!

Answer 2

Hmm ... a lot of people, I think, are often in or were in the same situation as you are right now. What to do? Hmm, well, you should have a one-on-one chat with your mother, although, she might not listen to you and could possibly only lecture you about listening to your stepdad. Hmm, and second option may be a little bit out there but this is for if you are desperate ... Videotape a typical day of what your stepfather does when your mom's not around ... And, obviously, don't let him know about it, and then show it to your mom. o_0 But I doubt that would work out. And another possibility is having a chat with your stepdad. Ultimately though, you should probably ask another adult that you trust, maybe a close aunt or guidance counselor, or, and as bad as it may seem, live with it. If your mom really loves your stepdad, he won't go away and he'll probably continue with his ways. Try to understand him from his perspective and try to spend some quality time with him. Maybe you and him will become friends or something, and he won't put all this pressure on you and your siblings.

Answer 3

Thats a tough one...tell him to get a job for one so he won't be around as much hahaha...my concern is if you say something to your mom he will only become worse. The best thing is try to keep the house neat by cleaning up after yourself as soon your done doing whatever it is that made a mess (not really a mess) but the cleaner you can keep it all time the less there will be to do later. Try to advoid him and stay on his good side...I'm sure it is difficult to adjust and maybe the two of you just need to talk and try to work through your differences.
As for why he didn't want your mom to continue playing is obviously she stumbled but if she falls it can seriously hurt the unborn baby and he doesn't want to see anything happen to that child.

Answer 4

He might be acting like this cos she is preg, im assuming with his child. he doesnt want her playing rough so she doesnt hurt the baby. and she wants the house to look perfect when she gets home so she doesnt have to do anything and so she thinks hes a good husband/step dad. Try talking to him about it. just figure out what u have a problem with, what desicion is he making final say on and whats wrong with it, if its just he wants the house to clean just say well listen i cant clean anymore then this cos that stuff is there for the remoddling. i think his intentions are fairly good tho cos hes trying to make things easy for ur mom and keep her safe and happy. Might get easier when bub is born

Answer 5

Your step dad is concerned for your mom.My daughter is in a high risk pregnancy and is really limited in what she can do at home..As a result the family is sharing the work so she can rest and keep herself and the baby healthy.I suspect that your mom gets tired and appreciates your extra help with housework etc.Be glad you are able to help,do it willingly and it will show your parents you are a responsible young lady.Trust me as you get older you will appreciate that helping and making sacrifices is a sign of maturity.

Answer 6

Sounds like your step-dad was only concerned about your mom falling and possibly hurting herself and the baby. It also sounds like he is making you and your brother do work around the house so it's less that your mom has to do when she gets home. I think he is just looking out for your mom's well-being.

Answer 7

Try to stay calm and look at this from his perspective. If you feel you have good enough communication with him, ask him what you just asked us. You could write it in a letter if you didn't want to talk to him face to face at first. Just make sure to keep the tone non-confrontational and try not to be angry. Explain that you feel he treats you one way in front of your mother and another way when she is not around and that it hurts your feelings. If you do not feel comfortable doing that, find a time when just you and your mom can talk and bring it up to her. Remember to stay calm and not get angry. Make a list of things you want to talk about and clear the air. Good luck. It is never easy to blend families, I wish the best for you.

Answer 8

Im very sorry you are having these situations as such a young life lots of kids have this in fact most kids that parents remarry. your Mom might understand but if you talk to her if you attack him she will probably take his side, can you talk to a grandparent about this? If everything doesn't help speak to your school counselor.

Answer 9

Listen and learn. Who do you think is going to clean the house, your mum? Your pregnant mum? The one that has to pick up after lazy kids? Your step dad is trying to save your mum the hassle of having to pick up after you kids.

Answer 10

maybe your step-dad is just paranoid because your mom is pregnant, he doesn't want anything to happen to her so he has you clean the house. I know it can be hard, but talk to your mom about your feelings. Moms can be very understanding.