How can I demand attention from my parents?

Question

My mother and father give much attention to my brothers and sisters. They barely give any to me and I want attention. My brothers and sisters hit, scream, kick, cry, and get their way all the time. I do all the babysitting for four children. I do not (hardly) get paid. I have been doing this for two weeks, since my brother got placed in public school. I have to babysit for a 10yrold, an 8yrold, and a 5yrold. I do get out daily, but how can I demand my parents pay attention to me? My father barley talks to me when I talk to him but DEMANDS attention from the others. My mother doesn't want me to start public school but she's willing to put my 10yrold sister in it.

What can I do to demand attention? Because I'm starting to slip through the cracks and go un-noticed... and I don't know how much more of this un-noticedness I can take.

I'd also like to do it without getting in trouble. I have a clean record with my parents, and I'd like to keep it that way.

I'm homeschooled.

& I'm 16. No car or driver's liscense

oldest child.

Answer 1

Darlin',I feel for you. I have five kids. 16, 8, 5, 3, 1 years old. The 16 year old does our babysitting for us. I pay him full scale. I don't feel it is my child's job to be my on call babysitter. If I want to go out I ask him if he can sit for that particular time just as if I call up someone in the neighborhood to sit for us. Home schooling has got to be hard at your age as well.

I think you need to try to have a calm sit down conversation with both of your parents after the rest of the clan is in bed for the night. Tell them how you feel about all of these things. Figure out what you want out of this and what you are willing to stay the same. This may be your first time at negotiating but you will probably need to start sometime.

Answer 2

Hi. You sound like a very mature person. I'd bet that your parents have their hands full and rely on you to help them out without realizing that you are feeling neglected. That's a tough place. What you are feeling is normal and it's healthy. Acting like your younger sibs probably won't get you the type of quality attention from them that you need. So, maybe ask your mom if you can talk to her in private about something important after dinner or at a time when she can give you her full attention. That way you are giving her a chance to set aside time for you and letting her know it's important to you. Then start the conversation by letting her know that you want to talk about something you are feeling very deeply. Maybe ask her if you and she can have time regularly for you two to enjoy each other. Try the same with your dad. Feelings are important, and if you don't just complain, they will most likely recognize their oversight and give you more of what you need. Good luck, hon. I hope they recognize what a great kid they have in you!

Answer 3

It sounds like you're frustrated with your family and your parents for their interactions with you. The key thing to keep in mind here is not to "demand" attention but to find a way to ask for more time with them. What do you want from them? To go to a public school? A driver's license? Less babysitting time? Write it down before you go talk to them. You can even put the letter in their room for them to read if you feel they do not have time to sit down with you. A family friend could also help you speak with them and explain what you want.
I know being a teenager is hard, even more so when you don't get the attention you want, but approach it in a mature manner and you are more likely to get what you want. And remember, some day you'll live away from them and miss the chances you had to do what you do now. Good luck.

Answer 4

My heart is with you.It's not easy being the one left out.Could you somehow ask your Mom if you could talk to her and explain exactly how you feel. Try to stay calm no matter what she says and I know that's not easy sometimes.
I don't know how old you are or where you are from but here in Canada there is a "KID'S HELP LINE" toll free. I'm sorry I don't have the number but you said you do get out each day. I have seen the number on milk cartons.They will talk to you for as long as you like and it's all confidential.Perhaps they can give you some ideas. The main thing is they are there to listen to you.
Whatever you do don't give up.Hopefully things will change. Thinking of you and the best of luck.

Answer 5

Being the middle child is always the hardest position in a family. Because you seem so responsible and your brothers and sisters are younger it's understandable that you're not noticed. I think you should arrange a meeting with both parents without your younger brothers and sisters interrupting. Maybe recruit your older brother, or ask an aunt or uncle to watch the younger children and then lay everything out on the table. I think they appreciate you helping to taking care of your brothers and sisters and I think you just have to remind them that you are important, too. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

Here's what you do: sit down after you're done babysitting and have some time to yourself and write them both a long letter explaining everything from the neglect you're now feeling to how unfair ___________ is...
Don't do it all in 1 sitting... It'll take a few rewrites to recall every issue and get it right and complete... Use a computer to make it easier to edit... HANDWRITE the final copy - Make a copy for yourself...
Wait until everyone else has gone to bed and then, give a copy to your parents when they're in a fair enough mood... By all means, if you want to be heard, BE PATIENT, and wait until they're not distracted by some other problem(s)... Pray to God and remember: Timing is everything...
If they STILL neglect you, give a copy to your pastor and then, you'll get plenty of attention, for sure...

Answer 7

Don't demand, request that they set aside an hour after dinner to talk with you, that you have something to say to them. Sit down away from the others. NO INTERRUPTIONS! You'd better know what you're going to say. You can write it out in advance if that helps. Then tell them what you've told us and how it makes you feel. I don't know but it sounds like you're the oldest and more is expected of you. Look at it this way, you'll be more self-reliant and responsible as an adult. Try my suggestion and DON'T LOSE YOUR TEMPER.

Answer 8

Have a heart to heart talk with your mother. Tell her truthfully how you feel about the arrangement in a way that you are not blaming them. Don't make it sound as if you are demanding (though that is your real intention).

Find the appropriate time and atmosphere to approach your mom... make sure that your mother is not worrying about many things. For sure, she is going to notice you without taking offense.

Answer 9

Started to say how old are you that you don't have to go to school
Home schooled? Hum? don't they teach you stuff. How do you get your lessons? By computer classes? the internet?
How can you baby sit and still get your time on the computer to do your school work? What does your folks do that they can teach you at home? Most parents don't know anything about the current world. I had to set up the computer myself in the bedroom. My folks don't even know how to do text messageing on the cell phone and I had to put all her phone numbers and names in it. Hook up the dvd and show them how to use the ipod. They didn't even know how to scan pictures and send them to the relatives in this country. I put several boxes of photos on a disc. To preserve them. My parents were really impressed. Tried to use a cd in a dvd player that is how bad they were. Are your parents teachers or something?

Answer 10

You might start by trying to communicate with them. Parents can be demanding and many are, but it isn't always meant to be something detrimental to their children. Maybe demanding behavior is working for your siblings, but with a mind and intelligence such as yours, you need not demean yourself by engaging in the same rude manner.

Don't demand, try asking.