Make Me Laugh. Tell Me a TRUE funny story and you get 10.?

Answer 1

hmmm...
well the 1 that makes me laff is as follows.....

a friend and me went to the grocery store, she with her list and me with mine... come time to checkout and leave, she freaks and says she forgot to get something and would be right back; a few minutes go by...
she comes rushing around the corner and begs for me to go to her... she whispers in my ear that she cannot find the 1 thing to make the recipe complete... lol
she had been running around the store searching for "scratch" yes i said "scratch" i had no idea what she was talking about... then she showed me the recipe for GRAVY AND BISCUITS MADE FROM SCRATCH!!!!
I ALMOST DIED RIGHT THERE!!!!

Answer 2

A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went.
She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went
dancing and drinking on Saturday nights. Whenever the woman went onto
the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof
is
on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn!" The crowd on the dance floor would always
cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would

make the parrot yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild.
This
would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.

One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the
choir stand with her.

And when the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, "The roof, the
roof,

the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!

Burn, muthafukkah, burn! She embarrassingly corrected the parrot,

"No, you don't say that here!!"


The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same
muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!!!..

Answer 3

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 4

Instead of going to 3th period class, I attended my 2nd period class...and it looked kinda strange how there were soo many different people in the class and even my teacher didn't say anything to me, i guess she thought it be really funny....lol after half an hour I kept on thinkin to my self why are there soo many different people here, so i started to think back if maybe i'm here at the wrong time...but everytime it came out right I wasn't there at the wrong time (After 1st period comes 2nd period)....but i disregarded the thought and went back to sleep in class, so after half an hour someone from the class finally asked what was I doing there, and i told them, i'm in the 2nd period class....It turned out that day it was a differnt exam schedule for Sat9 and dat day was suppose to be meant for odd number classes only (ex. 1,3,5).....not even....So I looked like an idiot and i got up in the middle of the class and started to leave...haha my teacher stopped her calss as soon as she saw me leaving and asked "are you sure you don't want to stay any longer? We really liked your visit today, thanks for coming"
Everyone started to laugh...
So i'm standing there infront of everyone, and i tell my teacher that I forgot about Today's schedule change...So she was like "O ok gotcha, 45mins is a pretty long time to not notice your not sitting in your regular class, you must have been thinking really hard about it all this time huh? But don't worry since you like this class soo much you can come tommrow also and listen to the same lecture"

Answer 5

Last year I went to the Sommers Canoe Base in Ely, Minnesota with my Venture crew for a week of leave-no-trace canoeing and portaging. The morning that we set out onto the calm waters of Moose Lake with nary a cloud overhead and a steady wind at our backs.
By the time we ate lunch, the wind had changed its mind about helping us along. Shortly after we set up camp for the night, a thunderstorm raged overhead. After that we had steady rain and headwinds for six days straight. The waves topped five feet, the sort of waves for which you shouldn't be on the water at all, yet we paddled ahead, telling our least-favored crew member to "just SHUT UP and PADDLE!" every five minutes.
The afternoon that we paddled wearily into the base again, the wind was at our backs, with nary a cloud overhead... I'm pretty sure that's a sign that God has a sense of humor.

Answer 6

I went to go water rafting. I had a great time and I did NOT fall out of the raft or get thrown around. On the way back to the offices, I was getting off the bus and slipped on the bus steps. I didn't fall on my butt, I caught myself. I had some BAD bruising on the front of my lower leg. A couple of days later, I had some busted blood vessels at the bottom of my foot. It was from the bruising from the lower part of my leg. It was just embarrassing because I survived going down the Ocoee River (where they had the Olympics) and not getting thrown out...but my dumb azz gets hurt getting off the bus on the way back.LOL

Answer 7

There's been 2 incidents. One being my most embarrasing moment ever.


When I was 4 years old, I used to copy my brother A LOT. Well, once day I was in the living room with my mom and my dad and my brother. And my brother farted REALLY loud, and as a 4 year old, I thought it was pretty cool. So, i tried to immitate him...but I was squeezing so hard....I sharted in my little underpants.....and my mom yelled at me so loud after it. Oh and sharting means to fart and sh*t at the same time.




Okay the other time was when I was trying to get out of a parking lot and there was a long line of cars. Well this one tiny ugly cracked-out car tried to cut me, and I tried being a better person by just letting them go. But as I was forwarding, the car suddenly zoomed in front of my car and i braked suddenly. Then this really rude 14 or 15 year old boy sticks his head out of the window and yells WAIT UP! and flips me off. And by that point, I was furious, since I did wait for them to go. Then once I said "SHUT UP FU*KER!" At least 7 heads popped out of the small car trunk and windows and started cussing at me. Even though I was angry, I couldn't help but laugh and all of those stupid rude kids saw me and got embarrased and got back into their small dainty car.

Answer 8

The Middle Wife
By an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher.


I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.


Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh, oh, oh!' " Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this."
Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much!

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.' They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said it was from Mom's play-centre!, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.

Answer 9

1 time my aunt was drivin like 50 in a 35 mph zone and there was a car infront of her that was goin 35 so she honked and honked and the car pulled over and my aunt cut it off and went like 65 passed it. the car ended up being a police car. another time my aunt was saying sumtin and then my mom corected her and my aunt was like ooh...guess im not the brightest pencil in the box...and that shows that shes not the brightest pencil in the box.

Answer 10

OMG this happened Wednesday. My little brother he is 8 years old and we went to the corner store to get snacks. My brother wanted a pack of cards and he asked my mom. She said no and he had a fit. SO he went to go find the cards himself. He went and looked. He found a box that looked like a box of cards but they were actually condoms. So the guy at the counter (who really couldn't speak English) said, " Noey dat's Condooms! ( I tried to write it as he said it. So my brother said, " Mommy, what's condoms? She told him that men put it on their (as she said) "peckers". She told me that she couldn't lie to him.