6 kids, tends to be mean a lot, rarely takes any blame for fights even if she is 100% at fault, never apologizes. Does not seem to acknowledge the multitude of strengths I have.
How can I not let her negative feelings for me and seeming little need to try to reconcile before death not get in the way of me doing the right thing and trying to love, forgive her and apologize.
Any help in me trying to fix or resolve things or advice would be greatly appreciated.
2006-09-01 12:24:23 · 7 answers · asked by shaney j 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First you have to accept that she has done the greatest thing in the world by choosing to bring you into the world and that no matter what she did ,you could NEVER repay her for that.Know that all parents make mistakes,and will sometimes hurt us...but not on purpose.Trust that she did what she knew how to do,and don't hold it against her that she didn't,couldn't or wouldn't do better.Maybe she didn't know how to love you the way you want to be loved,or take care of you the way you needed,but she is tha only mother you have,and nothing will ever change that.Please don't blame her for her faults...you will regret it someday.Whenever she angers you...think about her laboring to bring you into the world,think about her feeding and clothing you,and caring for you when you were sick.Think about her teaching you things to keep you safe,when you knew no better.Remember that she sat and held her little baby and marveled at its beauty,its little fingers and toes.She carried you in her belly,on her hip and throughout those years you were oblivious.She deserves to be repected,forgiven and cherished for doing that.Be grateful.We are now living in times when young mothers are leaving there babies,children in smoltering hot vehicles.Birthing them in the woods and leaving them there,putting them in trash cans etc.You have been blessed don't blow it by being unforgiving.You too will one day need to be forgiven,This I can promise.
2006-09-01 12:47:03 · answer #1 · answered by girlqueen 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Through my own personal experience I had the same thing happen to me with my husband dying in November of last year. Tim, my husband of 28 years, was doing exactly what your mom is doing to you but I kept telling him that I loved him and I was staying by his side until the day he dies that is why I married him through thick and thin no matter what. Towards the end he realized that he was wrong and understood why I stood fast. He had his ups and downs but he was more scared of how I and our kids get along without him we reassured him to the end that he would always be here in not in person in spirit. This helped him and I'm pretty sure this is what your mom is thinking you just have to keep telling her you love her and that she will always be here in your heart and mind and the memories good and bad and maybe she will also realize her mistake and ask for forgiveness.
I kept saying everyday while I tookcare of Tim "God doesn't give you anything he didn't think you can handle." Believe me this helped me a lot during this trying time. I hope everything works out for you and your siblings.
2006-09-01 12:49:46 · answer #2 · answered by stubbornmom2000 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, I'm sorry to hear of your mother's illness. You can't change how others behave, but you can work on your response to their behavior. Your mother is probably very scared right now and may not be able to see your attempt at reconciliation as anything good. However, if you try to be nothing but kind, you will know that you did all you could to repair the relationship. Now is a time for you to think of yourself and how you will feel about yourself after she dies. My feeling is that after enough time has passed, you will come to know you did all you could, and that's what's important. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to voice your love and forgiveness and apologies to her. She may not respond, but you will know you did the right thing. Be strong.
2006-09-01 12:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by leannedtm 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do what you feel is right. It's hard when you are watching someone die because you get a loss for words on all subjects. It sounds to me me that your mum does love you a lot but she may be really scared herself and is expressing it harshly and you are bearing the brunt of it. same as with people who have Alzheimer's they pick out one person and harass only that person till they die. Just know what you say now might be the last thing you say to her and that will stay with you always. Best of luck to you it's not easy.
2006-09-01 12:37:08 · answer #4 · answered by traceylolanna 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
open your heart to her, she's your mom for god's sake! Let her know how much you care for her, and that it hurts when she doesn't see all the good you make. But listen, even if she still thinks she's right, she's your mom and she won't be around for much longer, so why not try and make her last days happy? I mean, if you know you are acting right, what difference does it make anyways?
2006-09-01 12:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just talk to her. its her fault if she doesnt want to listen, atleast then you will live without the guilt of not trying to make things right with your mom.
2006-09-01 12:32:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter how you do it, just do it!!
2006-09-01 12:26:28 · answer #7 · answered by johnnydean86 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋