Having the same old argument with my 13 yr old boy about what time he has to go to bed, i send him at 9 on a school night and 10 at the weekend..He says that all his friends are allowed to stay up till 11 and it's just noot faaaaaaaaair...What do u think?...I need a bit of me time!!
2006-09-01 11:46:13 · 48 answers · asked by Rosie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
dont worry
you are being a GREAT mom!!!
all kids should go to bed NO later than 9:30 on school nights.
those kids that say that they can stay up to 11 or even later, are just stupid!! their parents have problems! and then those kids parents wonder why their son/daughter is doing so bad school? its because kids dont get enough sleep and they are too lazy to do any school work!!!
Im a 13 year old also. I LOVe going to bed at 9 on school nights!! even thought i do get mad cause there are some really great shows on at like 10 or something, but i feel very good in the morning. i do well in school, i dont have to be late for anything, because i wake up on time cause i got enough sleep.
just let him know how inportant it is to have a good night sleep and how he will do better in school. If you get him used to going to bed at 9:00 he will get with the routeen and go to bed without even having his parents telling him to go to bed...
Keep it!!!
Your doing GREAT!!!
2006-09-02 02:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends to some extent what time he needs to get up and what amount of sleep he really needs. I go bed at 1am and get up at 7.45am (I'm not 13). It also depends whether he's a lark or an night owl. I've always preferred going to bed late. I'm writing this at 00:05am and it's the best time of the day!
If you need a bit of "me" time, you can't penalise the boy for your needs. (pm does seem a bit early and in fact the boy is telling you so. He won't die if he goes to bed later, but maybe the real issue isn't about him but it's about you. You need some time alone so maybe he should be left to his own devices in his own room so you can chill out and at the same time negotiate a better bedtime for him. 13 is an odd age, they're kind of kicking off your control and you need to negotiate more than tell. If you keep forcing it'll only cause both of you grief. Put the problem back at him and allow him to start making some choices of his own, you can make sure the consequences aren't too dire.
If it helps, you're lucky he's not a girl! Mine is 14 and has suddenly become the spawn of satan. Want to swap?
2006-09-01 12:10:42 · answer #2 · answered by Mesper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your 9 pm school night bedtime is right on, however on the weekends I think he should be allowed to stay up later...I agree that we need "me" time, so maybe you can have that time in your bed room until he goes up to his bed at say 11 pm- I'm not one to go to bed very early so even at an 11 pm bedtime I could still have me time for an hour or two. The one stipulation I would give him is that at 11 pm he is to be in his room and not out and about in the house bothering you or the rest of the family. The one thing you can look at is that S-Th you have a lot of *me time* since he goes to bed at 9 pm. The other thing you could try is to tell him he earns the extra hour of bedtime as long as he does some chores or whatever you can come up with. that way he learns that if he can be trusted to finish some tasks required by you that you will respect that he has taken that extra responsibility
and being older he is allowed to have some extra time up.
good luck! I have these same issues with my 10 yr old son- and I can go to my room and read or watch a movie/t.v for some me time and he knows that he can't be barging in on a whim
2006-09-01 12:36:44 · answer #3 · answered by sammy22005 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he is definatly testing you. Using the nagging approach, made worse by the whole 'just half way through puberty/ hormones changing' scenario. I taught in a secondary school last year and I have heard all the stories. If he says all his friends stay up till 11, that means one or two do, but not all his friends. He is laying it on and clearly want to be 'cool' amongst his friends.
However, I think you have it just right. Definatly 9 on a school night...thats late enough. If its any later he will get ratty the next day and start loosing attention in class. You could stretch to 11 on a friday/sat night though as its a weekend. If you give a little but still stand firm then you will be winning all the way.
Good luck!
2006-09-01 12:04:39 · answer #4 · answered by Chartlotte M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a 13 year old boy and a 12 year old girl and they start getting ready for bed at 8:30 ( it takes them forever. They are the masters of procacnstation.) They are usually in bed by 9 or 9:15. On weekends they decided when they want to go to bed. It still allows them to be indapendant and make their own choices. My son usually puts himself to bed around 10. My daughter is a little later.
2006-09-02 07:14:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try a compromise for 9:30 on a school night and 11 on weekends.
2006-09-01 12:12:17 · answer #6 · answered by T M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are the parent,this is your house, whatever, to what the other kids do.
I dont think it is unreasonable to have a night bedtime especially on a school night. Studies have shown that kids during school years, need to get a minimum of 8-10 hrs. a night for both growth as well as functioning throughout the day. YOu know what is best for him, regardless as to what he thinks. Be supportive of his wants, but let him know on this issue, right now, there is no discussion. Some things we need to be flexible about right? Decide if there is any room for flexibility on this issue and go from there. Good luck ;)
2006-09-01 11:53:42 · answer #7 · answered by Michele S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has school in the morning, you could negociate a 10:30 PM.
If he has school in the afternoon, he can stay up until 00:00.
It mostly depends on how he organizes himself.
How long it takes for him to wake up, get dressed etc. When he does his homework...
My opinion is that the best thing you can do is to tell him to go to bed at 10:30 PM in the weekdays. That way you both get to win, the time difference is small, but he will appreciate it.
And on Fridays and Saturdays let him stay up until ~midnight.
It sounds pretty fair to me. And he would be getting the basic 7-8 hours of sleep...Give my idea a try! See how he reacts.
2006-09-01 11:50:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that 9 on school nights is great and 10 on the weekend is very reasonable. I know I have 3 kids and if they stayed up any later than that mommy would not be a very pleasant person to deal with!
2006-09-01 11:49:32 · answer #9 · answered by day dreamin baby 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you could try 11 on the weekends and if he has no problem getting up for school in the mornings then fine but if he does then keep it at 10
2006-09-01 11:53:08 · answer #10 · answered by mommy@18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋