What do you normally do if your teenagers refuse to do chores you give them and go out when they are grounded?

Question

Do you normally yell right back if they yell at you at the top of their lungs?

Answer 1

OBVIOUSLY BEING GROUNDED ISN'T WORKING. I TOLD YOU, THEY NEED SMACKED IN THE MOUTH IF THEY CURSE AT YOU, BACK-TALK, OR YELL AT YOU.

A SMACK IN THE MOUTH ISN'T ABUSE WHEN THEY NEED IT.

TAKE CAR KEYS AWAY, TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING THEY OWN UNTIL THEY LEARN SOME RESPECT AND OBEDIENCE.

Answer 2

My teens know better than to even try my patience. I am a single, divorced mom, and they have no where else to go unless they want to move to Nashville, and in their eyes, mom is the best choice, so they do what they are asked to do. They do not have anything to do with their father.

Don't get me wrong, they throw some attitude, BUT NEVER yell at me, BUT I do not yell at them. I try to show them respect as they do me, but if they disrespect me by being defiant, then I verbally warn them of what could happen, I may be smaller than them, BUT I am their mom, and I do still spank and take away priviledges.

I had a friend whose parents literally nailed the windows shut, and had locks on the doors that could only be open from the inside with a key, and the bparents held the key. She would have had to break windows to leave, but she was not a good girl either. I am fortunate i have not had to do things like that to my boys, and I hope that I never do.

Answer 3

I've never had this problem with my children. My children were taught at a very young age the meaning of respect and that when I told them to do their chores that there would be consequences if they were not done. My children know better than to yell at me and they wouldn't even think about going out if they were grounded because they wouldn't want to face the consequences when they came home. You have to teach your children what is expected of them and why. You also give them rewards when they do the right things. Children learn by positive reinforcement. You have to start with your children when they are young because if you wait till they are older it's too late.

Answer 4

I was a problem child growing up and a horrible teenager. The worst thing my parents ever did is fight back with me, adults have much bigger tempers than a teenager and it can easily get out of hand with a teenager and an adult fighting, not really fair is it? My parents got so mad that they called me out of my name and etc. It was really damaging to my self esteem. I've been to a therapist since then that told me that they way you talk to your children and bring them up is the adult they will turn out to be. The best way to get your teenager to do the chores would be to offer perks if possible, like computer time, allowance, or things of similar value. My parents always just told me to do what i was told or else. But i was very resentful and would have been more willing if i thought i would be working towards something good. Would you go to your job if you werent going to get a paycheck? Besides, teenagers are generally more lazy, but its not because of their personality its because they are growing, and more active at school then their parents think. Plus sitting in a desk for 8 hours a day and having to deal with peers at school that arents so nice can make you moody anyways, which probably explains your teen yelling at the top of their lungs.

Your best bet is to walk away from the fight and send your kid to their room and not let them have the fun things in there, like computers, tvs, radios, etc. Just let them stare at the wall for a couple of hours so they have time to think and realize that "hey, my parents really can take things from me and make me completely miserable, so why didnt i just do my chores in the first place to make them happy?"

But as a parent, you should be able to control your teen from going out when they are grounded. Let them know, that if they leave without your permission, you can call the police on them. That should make them stay in and serve their punishment for you. Good Luck!

Answer 5

I don't know where you live, but be careful changing the locks if that's a route you decide to take. In alot of states, by law, it's perfectly legal for them to break the door in, break a window, or whatever it takes. They live there. You need to check your states landlord tenant laws. They apply in this situation, too, regardless of relationship. You already have a handful, there's no reason to push it any further. Where's dad? A good whoupin does wonders for attitude problems. It depends on their age, too. If they're of legal age to work, and they refuse to do chores, tell them you're going to charge them rent since you have to go behind them and waste time you could be using to do other things. Take everything of entertainment, including books not for school, cell phone, etc. If you want them to be able to get ahold of you, get them a cricket. They can only call you and dad or other numbers you program into the phone. Take all of their "cool" clothes. Leave them with 5 pairs of pants, 5 shirts, 5 pairs of underwear, 5 bras(if female), 3 pairs of shoes. Put everything in storage. Once they've been behaving appropriately for say, 3 months, they get a couple of things back. Every following month, they get a couple of things back. Once they start behaving like an adult, they can have things adults are allowed to have.

Also, control yourself. Do not yell. Tell them that nothing will be considered unless it's relayed to you in a calm, respectful tone of voice, and ignore any further instigation. You're mom. You have to example self control. Children learn everything about life from their parents.

Answer 6

Sound like a major problem here. You do not accomplish anything by yelling at your children. Why do you let them out when they are grounded? You need to sit that kid down and lay down some new rules, seems like the old rules are not working.
For one thing a child should have more respect than to yell at the parents. Second a parent should have more respect than to yell at the child. Maybe you should seek some outside help, it worked for my son and us.

Answer 7

Take away their house key first. When they leave lock the door. If they sneak out a window, lock that. It's awfully embarrassing to get dropped off by your friends to find you can't get in. And worse to have to wake up mom.
If grounding doesn't work then take away things, TV, iPod, etc. You have to work for stuff, so do they. If you don't work, you loose stuff, so do they. Stop spending your money on them. Make them earn it back, get their own job.etc.

Oh and don't yell.. It freaks them out when you don't yell at them. Besides if they are already yelling they are not listening. SO don't yell and make them listen

Answer 8

No yelling, hitting or screaming. Put dead bolts on the doors (the ones that u have to have a key both ways) and lock them in. Don't say a word till they come to u. Tell them that when their chores are done right...u'll think about unlocking the doors.

Answer 9

Start taking thing away they got to they are left with basics. If they got a cell phone turn it off, if there is a TV in their room take it away ,If they got a car take the keys and hide them, And if they still act up go far with it. Stop doing things for them. Stop doing their clothes, stop cooking for them, don't take them place, don't pay for anything. If you and your man go out to eat or to a movie , leave them home. Stop going the things they can do them self cause they are not doing the things you ask them. See how they like it when you turn the tables on them. If that don't work seek help for some where that deals with things like that. Hope that helps out.

Answer 10

no, yelling on begets more yelling. I focus on mutual benefits. They want an allowance, extracurricular activities, trips, etc.. Its basically a trade off. I get them to help prioritize spending and planning family activities. No chores, no extras, just the basics, plain and simple.

Answer 11

Mine girls are not teens yet (8 and 11), but if they openly refused to do any chores or obey grounding restrictions, they would butts would get the message.

They probably wouldn't anyway as they know my views on spanking first hand.