I do not understand why my mother lies. She has taken it to the extreme, telling us that she is dying. Why?

Question

Mother is 81. Has endured two cancer battles and won. We have moved her in with us because she was becoming rude to her neighbors and sister. She is active.
Her choice of men throughout her life has always been married men with her being friends of the wives. She has always been dishonest. She use to be abusive to my two sisters. Pulling them over backwards and beating them. Or just slapping their faces.
She now is telling the family that she is dying due to lung cancer. She has pain patches and pain pills that she implied were for the control of the cancer pain. I requested that we visit the Dr about how I was to take care of her. We found out that there was no biopsy and the Dr did not think that the small node was cancer. He told us that the pain meds were at her request for back pain from a prior surgery! Even though she sat in and heard everything, she still tells all that she has cancer. She has found out that I am telling all the truth and gets mad. whats wrong?

Answer 1

If she has been attacked by cancer 2 times already, she must be suffering from mental disturbness. Yes, she is quite disturbed by this unsettled way of living her life, and at this age, elders need to rest, I dont know why she is telling you that she is dying, but it is a sign that she is tired and fed up with the way she fought to survive. Its not very normal and I advice u to contact a special doctor. She may think that she is ending her life soon...

I hope she recovers soon,
Bye.
:)

Answer 2

Your mother is 81 years old and has endured two cancer battles, that can make anyone very mad at life, maybe she needs attention, which can explain her lies like cancer. Maybe she has always been rude and did bad things because of the experience of her life. She may had to go through bad times when she was younger and you don't know much about her. Try to confront her and tell her that you are there for her. You are her loved one, so try to understand her more and hopefully she will too about you.

Answer 3

I took care of my mother for 17 tears till she passed away at the age of 70. She was always a strong woman and due to numerous leg and hip surgeries she became dependent on the aid of others "meaning me". My brother and sister live in another town, not far about an hour away, so I mainly took care of her and they visited not often about every 7 weeks for about 3 hours. My mother needed to be in charge and once accused me of abuse to which she admitted it was a lie.
Strong women need to be needed. Maybe your mother needs the attention that in her mind she deserves due to her age and the fact that she has had some illnesses. Have you thought that maybe, she might know that her lung is possibly cancerous, sometimes we have a gut feeling about these things. I wish you and your mother well, and send up a prayer for you also. I know how hard it is to care for the woman who carried and raised you, even if her way of raising children is not yours. I hope I at least helped a little. You know there are meetings for children who care for their elderly parents, they might have some ideas that can help.

Answer 4

Well she is old. You only have one mother. She needs love and attention at this point in her life. Enjoy her while she is on this earth, i lost my mother a month ago, she had lung cancer, and i wish it would have been a lie, i would listen 2 her lie a million times just 2 hear her voice again. Oh and one more thing sometimes elders know when they are dying. So let her know how much u love her.

Answer 5

Maybe you and I are related? My mother is a lying woman who seems to enjoy causing sorrow and trouble wherever she goes. I have a theory that she is Bi polor or something like that. She even once tried to have my son taken by spreading lies. I no longer have anything to do with her. She was abusive when I was younger, and I spent much of my childhood in foster homes. She has a serious problem that she refuses to see, or care about, so I figure the Heck with her. Get on with your life. She is not worth any of your time. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Unfortunately your mother has a problem. All her life she took and took, never giving and the problem is, when they get older they just get more demanding. You are the one who gets the brunt of it all and I really feel for you. But there's not much you can do, she's always let a deceitful life, that's her character.
If you can afford it and you can use her pension and ask the government for assistance, get her out of your immediate life.
It will make you miserable and in the end the old b...will outlive you. Good Luck!

Answer 7

She needs a good dose of reality. Have the family get together and tell her that you all know the truth and how you feel about the way she treats you. Make sure it is a loving environment and don't be condescending or she will feel like she is being attacked.

Answer 8

Try to understand her, its maybe her age and wants all the attention she can get before she really passes away..I guess if you know none of the things she has said are true just follow her line, make jokes out of it... because once she is gone you are going to regret not spending or listening to her. Well God bless, and remember she is your mother. Take care.

Answer 9

Have you ever thougt maybe she's saying she is dying b/c she really wants too?Maybe she has thought about the stuff she has done throughout her life and decided that maybe she just needs to die b/c of all the awful things she has done. If im wrong then im wrong but i know i have made some really bad decisions in life and wanted to just die then.

Answer 10

It sounds like she's suffering from Alzheimers. People act irrationally when they get old and their mind starts deteriorating. She may also be a compulsive liar and overall just not a very nice person. No telling without a psychological evaluation.