Do u know of any good joke?

Question

Post any joke u may have regardless of nationalities, religion, political group or race. This should be interesting.;-)

Answer 1

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

Two lads go moose hunting every year but never seem to get a moose.
One year the first says, "why don't we get a female moose costume, I'll learn the female mating call, we can stand in a field, and when a male moose is lured, we'll shoot it."
The second agrees, so they get a costume and one guy goes in the front, the other in the back. They find a field in the woods.
Pretty soon the moose call attracts a large bull moose who begins to wander towards them.
The guy is the rear says " It's working! It's working! Pass me the gun."
The guy in the front says " I didn't bring the gun, I thought you did"
The guy in the rear asks "What'll we do now?"
To which the guy in the front answer, "Well I'm going to pretend that I'm eating grass....but you better brace yourself"

Answer 3

This old feller, 80 years old......... called his doctor about his wife, the doctor ask the problem, and the old man sed she doesn't want to do anything, just sits in that rocker and looks out the window, day in and day out... The Doctor sed, bring her in and I will check her out. The old man brought the old lady i and sat out in the waiting room for about 30 minutes, and the doctor came out and advised the old man that he cud find nuthin at all withe the lady, and spoke in a low tone and sed unless it cud ne your sex life, well needless to say this was one hellava jolt, considering his age and all. and ask the doctor what he thot for him do, the doctor sed that he might consider increasing it, which it this came as a pretty fair shock to the old man, the old man swallowed pretty hard and ask how much the doctor sed why don't we try Monday,Wednesday & Friday, by this time the ole' feller was just about to go out of his mind, he thot for a minute, and he sed well, Doc, I suppose that would work alright, the only thing is.....I can bring her in on Monday & Wendsday.....but Friday she'll have to take the bus

Answer 4

Babies Newfie Style

George and martha were getting a Bit frisky one night and they were out of KY jelly so they used a replacment..

then nine months later Martha was giving birth and the doctor said congratulations Georgie your the father of a Baby Boy,Georgie went running out told the rest of the family he had a Boy,When Georgie came back the doc said wait I see another one then the doc said congrats it is a baby Girl,Georgie went to share the news,then Georgie came back the doc said congrats your the father of another Boy Georgie went to share he was the father of Triplets..

As they were home Martha and Georgie were looking at the babies Georgie said I wonder how this happend..?

Martha said georgie remember that night we were out of KY Jelly and Used 3 in 1 oil..

Georgie said Yeah i remember and it's sure a good think we didnt use da WD-40

Answer 5

An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell, and began to redesign and build improvements. After awhile, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him.

On day God called to Satan to mock him, "So, how's it going down there in Hell?"

Satan replied, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God was suprised, "What?" You've got an engineer? That's a mistake. He should never have gotten down there in the first place. Send him back up here."

"No way," replied Satan. "I like having an engineer, and I'm keeping him."

God threatened, "Send him back up here now or I'll sue!"

Satan laughed. "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

Answer 6

Sure, I have one:

It was the last day of school and a very large class of political science students was hard at work on their final exams. The professor looked and the clock and said to his students; "Alright, times up. Please stop and bring your exams to the front of the class." The students groaned, but brought their exams forward. After the professor was done collecting them, he noticed one student still hard at work on his test. "Young man, your time is up” The professor said to the student angrily. The student ignored the professor and continued working on his exam. "Bring your exam to me now, or you will fail your test” screamed the professor. The student ignored the professor again and continued working. "Son, you have just failed the test; said the professor, "bring it to me now."
The student, now finished with the exam said to the professor; "Whew, that was a difficult test."
The professor was taken aback, "Did you hear what I just said?" he asked the student. "You have just failed this class!"
The student stood up with the test in his hand and approached the professor.” Do you have any idea who I am?” he asked in a very cocky tone.
"Should I?" answered the angry professor.
"Do you know who I am!?" shouted the student.
"No!" screamed the professor, "I have no idea who you are!"
"Good” said the student with a devious grin. He ran to the front of the classroom, shoved his test in the very large stack of exams and then, very confidently, exited the class.

Answer 7

the 1st get up comedian became Samson-he introduced the homestead down. The call of the Bob Jones college bowling group-The Holy Rollers i've got not got any others-you do understand putting this accessible invitations derision from the nonbelievers? in my opinion, i do no longer care-they rag on us regardless of if we communicate or no longer.

Answer 8

What did the blonde say when she looked in the cheerio box?
HMMM dougnut seeds

How do you drown a blond?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Answer 9

Here are a few jokes that I made up years ago that I've been told are funny:
1. What's black and white and dead all over? Written instructions on how to properly conduct a funeral.

2. How do you clear out a large room really fast? Eat a lot of beans and then let one rip.

Answer 10

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”