Have you ever accepted financial help from your parents since you reached adulthood?

Question

I'm struggling under credit card debt. Accrued a $20,000 balance. Actually cut up all the cards about around 1995, and for about 5 years after that I did a great job of making payments, cut balance down to a little under $10,000. Then seems like my life fell apart and I couldn't find work, sold my vehicle to have money for rent. Stopped making credit card payments. Moved around a lot and stopped receiving billings.
For several years now I've gotten by without credit cards, living off what I make, oftentimes volunteering at places which provide room and board.
My parents have offered to pay off my balances. They offer, I assume, because they love me. But I'm finding it so hard to accept their gift. I think of it as a mess I made, and I should clean it up, not them.
I know other people who've let their parents give them money, sometimes way more than this amount.
Why can't I just say yes to their gift? Please share if you have similar story. Thanks.

Answer 1

I have never been in that situation, but in some ways i know how you feel. If they want to help you, let them, they are still obligated to help their child out. And when you find a stable job, just pay them back. And stay away from credit cards cause they are nothing but problems.

Answer 2

My parents helped me out from time to time when I was younger and less stable. Never in the amounts you are talking about, but it was financial help none the less. I like you did not want to take the help. In order to satisfy my own sense of well being I paid the money back. What I would suggest to you is that debt is a bad thing. If you have the means to get out from under then you should do so. Agree to take your parents money only if they allow you to repay the debt. Arrange a payment schedule, and make the payments. In the end you will be better off without the debt albatross around your neck, and you can still maintain your own self worth.

Good luck and I hope this helps.

Answer 3

well, i think everyone has the dream of getting out there and doing a little better than their parents did. personally, i'm 21 years old, and i give my mother half my paycheck each week to help her, so i'm kind of in the opposite situation. (not that i make a lot of money - i was raised poor, so i know how to live cheap.)

but anyway, it all depends on the kind of person you are. some people are so selfish, they'll take whatever they can get without ever a thought of their benefactor. you seem kinder and more self-aware than that, so i can understand not wanting to take their money.

you could always tell them that you'll accept their money, only on the condition that you can pay them back over time. i'm sure your parents would charge you a lot less interest than the credit card companies. ^_^

if the credit card companies have sent you to collections, then you should try and negotiate with the collections agencies.

Answer 4

Yes - but nothing like the bills you have! And they were always paid back in 30 days with interest.

First off - go to a credit councilor. Don't get mad-hear me out. The councilor will be able to help you cut all the interest you owe. By the way - I understand that there is some kind of law about over $ 8,000.00. Check this out.
When the councilor gets the amount down - and he will - then yes - let your parents help you. Sign a note to them stating the amount of payments and if interest. This will all get you on the right track.
Then - when all paid back - you will really feel good about yourself! And - really make your parents happy!

Answer 5

Yes, I have accepted financial help from my parents, since reaching adulthood, and it was a very difficult thing to do. I completely understand your resistance to accepting this gift. Perhaps you could work out an arrangement where they pay off the debt, and you make payments to them? At least then you wouldn't be accruing interest on your debts. Alternately you could let them help you to get a lower interest loan that you could use to pay off the cards that are bound to be at a really high interest rate by now (I just got a loan at 7% to pay off a credit card that was billing me at 31%).

Good luck. It's a sticky problem you have!

Answer 6

Ok, If they are in a place financially where they can help you I think its ok. I think there are some things you can do to ease yur mind about it. First, negotiate with the credit card companies or collection agencies to settle the debts for lower ( usually you can get them to accept 50 to 70% of the total). This will make the total cost of what your parents are paying much lower. Second, do your best to pay them back... and if they dont want that or if its impossible to do then be there for them in other ways. Maybe you can do some work around their house. From what yoou have said you dont sound like a person who is irresponsible or selfish. If my son were in need I would try to help him as long as he was trying to help himself. Just appreciate that you have great parents.

Answer 7

I'm only 25, and I havent racked up the same amount in debt, but I have accepted money from my parents. They bought my first car (it was only 3400), and they have helped financially this year when I moved out of my small apartment into a larger one. My mother had an inheritance from her father, so she has helped each one of us kids (there's five of us) whether we wanted her help or not. I love my parents and have every intention of paying them back, WHEN I can afford to. Currently I have many bills to pay and my parents know when I have the money, I will pay them back.

Answer 8

I have been on my own for 30 yrs, and never accepted any help financially from my parents. I am 44 today, and my financial struggles are mine. If my parents were still alive, they indeed would be entitled to their own money.
Moving around creates alot of instability.
Check out this awesome website. This guy is a financial guru!!

Answer 9

How is the interest on those cards? What I'm saying is that maybe could let them pay them off for you, and then re-pay them the money gradually. That way you would still be paying it off, just without the interest.

Answer 10

My husband and I both have had a very strong stance on this issue our whole lives. My husband moved out at age 16 and has never taken money from his parents. He has siblings who have and still do, in their 30s. We have both found our parents have amazing respect for us for always doing things on our own. In addition, we are very proud to say that everything we have we earned on our own. There were very rough times as I put mysellf through University with minimal assistance. But it was worth it.