I'm getting married in less than a year and in the past two months that I've been engaged, I've broken down into tears (bawling, not just sniffles) multiple times because it's all so much stress. I love my fiance so much, but it really bothers me that I don't seem to get much out of the whole wedding plan thing as other girls that are planning their weddings. I'd love to elope, but that's out of the picture. I have no idea how to handle all the crap that goes along with getting married when all i want to do is BE married. The wedding just isn't really that important to me. Is there something wrong with me?
2006-09-01 08:51:37 · 20 answers · asked by krystalinereality 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You're more sane than you know. If you simply know what you want, you can do 2 things. Elope, or put the planning into someone else's hands. It's your day. Don't let ANYONE-and I mean ANYONE- dictate how your wedding is supposed to be. Enjoy your man, enjoy your MARRIAGE. Everything leading up to getting married is drama you don't have to deal with if you don't want to. Send those freaks to me if they keep giving you a hard time about. Much Luck, and Congrats!
2006-09-01 08:58:42 · answer #1 · answered by dct1218 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with you. Perhaps you just need to look at this in a different light.
Do you like gatherings or parties? If so, think of your wedding as the biggest party you're giving. If you don't, maybe have a simple ceremony and a sit-down dinner with close friends and relatives only. If your fiance is the one wanting a big wedding, then talk to him about how you feel and ask him to help. If you can, hire a wedding planner to ease your mind.
Stress will come when you feel you're unprepared, so gather information, start looking from the big picture and then drill down to the details. Picture in you mind what your wedding day should look like, and jot down the major things that you need to have. Anything else is the icing on the cake.
Utilize the internet, browse wedding magazines in the bookstores, talk to friends who are married, etc. There are lots of help out there if you need them.
Congratulations and be happy! :)
2006-09-01 09:00:17 · answer #2 · answered by justagal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be a little overwhelming to plan what everyone is telling you is "the most important day of your life!). I spent 18 months planning my wedding (I had a BALL!, sorry) and sometimes it seemed I had been planning it FOREVER! If you do not want a big, elaborate wedding, then DON'T HAVE ONE. The wedding should reflect the taste and style of the Bride and Groom AND NO ONE ELSE. The hardest thing is to get started. What to do 1st? I found that the bridal magazines were a huge help. I must have bought 50 of them over the course of a year, but I usually got at least one good idea out of each one. Most of them have time charts to tell you what to do 12 months prior, 8 months prior, ect. You can plan something simple, and not stress yourself out doing something you don't care about anyway. The marriage is the thing, not the wedding.
2006-09-01 09:06:18 · answer #3 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you...you're right to be focusing on the marriage rather than the wedding so much. I suggest looking into hiring a wedding coordinator, it could even be one at your church or reception location. When I got married, I had a coordinator at both and they were a big help.
Planning a wedding can be stressful, so it's normal to feel that way. And not everyone likes to plan in the first place. When the day comes, just enjoy it and look ahead to your many years of happiness and love together. Good luck!
2006-09-01 08:58:38 · answer #4 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, actually with the exception of getting overly upset over it to the point of bawling, you've probably got your head in the right place. If you're not good at planning and organizing multiple details about an event (and not everyone is) then why not either hire a wedding planner, or if the budget won't allow that, ask a good friend or family member to help you with the planning. You don't have to have a super big blowout wedding to be married. If you keep that in perspective then you'll be fine. Best of luck to you!
2006-09-01 09:15:36 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all - my best friend was exactly the same way you are. Some woman just aren't into the big wedding planning thing. Try to relax, plan a fun day to the spa for you and the girls in your wedding party and, if you need the help, ask for it. Either someone in your family or your Maid of Honour or, if it comes to that, a Wedding Planner. They are not all overpriced and they are plenty out there that will work their butts off for you and give you the day you want.
If you do decide to go that route, you can go to the Association of Bridal Consultants website and search by state to find Wedding Planners for your area. Their website is:
http://www.bridalassn.com
2006-09-04 07:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't care that much about the wedding, why are you making a big deal out of it? Is it for you mother? If it is, why is she not helping you? Do you not have friends or sisters, future sister in laws, anyone who would love to help you?
Man! I love planning weddings and yes it can be stressful but so much fun.
If you are just doing it for someone else and no one is willing to help you, just make it a small intimate affairs and the way you want it.
Destination weddings are big these days because they include the ceremony and the honeymoon all in one shot.
If you have people who are willing to help you, let them but don't expect people to help you if you're not going to give them any input into the creation of things.
Good Luck and lighten up on yourself and enjoy this, hopefully it will be a once in a life time event for you.
2006-09-01 09:09:56 · answer #7 · answered by nellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you at all. My youngest brother's wife was overhwelmed by the whole process as well. She decided to find an all-inclusive wedding planner/site. She was married at Zion Farms in Georgia. All she had to do was make some decisions with the planner and Zion Farms too care of everything else. It was the least stressed I'd ever seen any bride!
If you can find such a place, it might well be worth it.
2006-09-01 12:23:09 · answer #8 · answered by DanaElayne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ther is nothing wrong with you at all! A friend of mine just got marrued and we all joked that she as the "anti-bride" because she didn't care about the planning process at all. In her case, since the big traditional weddig was important to her family, she pretty much let them plan it, and gave her input when she wanted to. It worked out and everyone had a good time.
That is one option, if the big wedding isn't all that important to you or your family and groom, then do a simple courthouse wedding and plan a small party for afterwards. Not everyone has to have the big fancy wedding, what is important is the marriage itself.
2006-09-01 09:46:31 · answer #9 · answered by Colly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is stressfull to plan a wedding. But you still have lots of time. I think you want that day to be perfect, as does everyone, but just don't. I am sure it will come out beautiful either way. Don't overload yourself more than you need to. I am also getting married in less than a year and you sound way more stressed then me. Have fun with it.
2006-09-01 09:46:43 · answer #10 · answered by Susa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋