Why is this such a turn ON to some and such a huge turn OFF to others? And do you break up with some one if THEY are obviously wanting to have one and you don't? I don't trust my bf because of this and why should I? He wants obviously wants other people and I have to laugh when he says he wants to get married because why would I marry someone I can't trust? Serious answers only, please and thanx!
2006-09-01 08:51:09 · 31 answers · asked by littleredridinghood 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
For the most part it is society taught that we as humans, should stay or be with one person at a time.... Hey, look what this did for Caligula.... If it toppled him, than it will toppel us all.. For the most part, I also resing to this following.. The get married, have kids, stay loyal stuff.. Though I think as youth we should indulge in our fantasies or fetishes a bit to release some of our curiosity.... Most guys will talk for hours about how they would love to see their girl with another women... Truth be told.. If it were to happen the evil monster Jealousy would soon raise its never weary head.. How sad, this could be such fun... Being that most females fantisize about other females.. So many birds to kill, with just one stone.. Damn human nature... Either way, if you are lucky enough... Mr Right will cross your path.. Trust and lack of jealousy his sword and sheild... Until that day, ride on my dear, ride on.. Ride on every girl and guy you wish... Be true to yourself and refrain from selfdestructive behavior.... Good Luck
2006-09-01 08:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Compatibility is tricky business. Are your motiives natural, supernatural, selfish or selfless? Consider carefully, then choose your course. It's not fair to try to change or control someone, and it's not fair to you to have to tolerate a lifestyle that doesn't fit.
So, probably, move on.
But if your love is strong and you mean to hold on, then you have to give something up, there's always a price to achieve a compromise...a relationship where two become one, or else it will never be any fun.
---
No Simple Matter
I have heard life is simpler without love,
But that isn't the life I'm dreaming of
Because I find no peace serving my self
Putting other's needs on a dark back shelf
I need to be free, not isolated
More than I ever anticipated,
Such that one will not ever be enough;
That to box me is a job way too tough.
I'm going to be free to love my friends
No matter what hurts, no matter what ends
No simple matter, fit for a basket...
The sole box for me will be a casket.
Love overflows, it will not be contained;
Where duty is right, my heart is retained,
But while I'm doing what you may call right
My lonesome tired heart will somehow take flight.
Do not convince me that I have earned shame
Nor accuse, I already take the blame.
My heart under blame was left empty, cold.
I will warm it up before I'm too old!
just david
2006-09-01 15:58:41 · answer #2 · answered by Just David 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not break up with him over that. It is most guys fantasy to want a 3 some. Its not about other people. Its the feeling of having 2 girls want him at the same time, or watching 2 girls go at it. If you tell him that you do not want to do it and he gets mad or goes and does it without you then YES, leave him now. But if you say no and that ok with him, then let him have his fanatsy. My bf says all the time that he wants to have a 3 some. I say maybe one day baby.. But I know I never will. Just making him think his fantasy will come true one day. I know that he would not get mad if it never happens.
2006-09-01 15:57:28 · answer #3 · answered by jam_psb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got a few questions in there, so I'm starting with the easiest one...if you seriously do not trust him, no - don't marry him.
As for why some people are turned on by threesomes and others aren't, I hate cliches but...different strokes for different folks. (No pun intended. lol) We're talking about the human mind, yanno? Why are some people frightened by spiders and others love them? It's just the way it is.
As for threesomes themselves, if everyone is a single, consenting adult and it's just for fun - fine. I just don't think they have any place in a relationship.
That being said, I can understand that his interest in a threesome has you feeling a bit insecure. That's understandable, but I don't think you should break up with him over this. I don't think it's fair to break up with someone based on thoughts they've had. Thoughts are very different than actions. Surely you've had thoughts that he wouldn't like. Seriously now...it doesn't matter if you're honest with us about this, but be honest with yourself. If you have other reasons to doubt him, that's another story.
Good luck.
2006-09-01 17:21:45 · answer #4 · answered by Tish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know. I could be the fantasy thing. The turn off could be missing the connection. As far a marriage is concerned, it is nothing more than a piece of paper that allows the wife to take half of a man's wealth. You can get everything you want just by being together without that silly paper. I've seen so many lives destroyed.
2006-09-01 15:55:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to the first part of your question is simple. Everyone is different and has different likes and dislikes. You may not be able to understand why they feel the way they do but you do have to respect their right to feel that way. As for the second part of your question. Just because your boyfriend mentioned a threesome does not mean he is bad. If you can not trust him that is the real problem because if you can not trust the person it is difficult to be with them.
2006-09-01 15:55:25 · answer #6 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people (mostly men) get turned on by it because they feel like they're getting more sensual attention.. and they're getting it from the opposite sex.. which is what they want... but...on the flipside, the emotional process of jealousy will take its toll on everyone that's why you usually hear that those in threesomes were probably drunk when they did it because they lost their inhibitions. I'm not knocking threesomes... they do sound fun.. i'm guessing if you and your boyfriend aren't so emotionally attatched to each other that you could allow the other to share someone else then you definately aren't ready for one.. i think most people really wouldn't want to have one becuse in the end it'll more than likely ruin your relationship.
2006-09-01 15:55:43 · answer #7 · answered by possumwilly0 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is a pervert and that will not change, sweetie! It is just the way it is. If he says he will change...........he won't. Read some books and articles on this. Watch TV and see what happens to those perverts who spend years in jail, get out and in a matter of a short time, do it again....knowing full well the consequences! It is not a laughing matter. Do you want to have kids with a man who is a pervert?????? I think not! Stop wasting time with the likes of him.
2006-09-01 15:56:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some feel the addition of a third will spice things up.
here's a mean trick to play. If your BF asks for a threesome, suggest two men and a woman.
Watch his eyes glaze over, as he wanted two women and a man.
2006-09-01 15:52:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you trust him...he's asking to add a person into YOUR sex life...he didn't say "Hey honey, I'm going to go have sex with these two strangers." Some people just like trying new things while others don't, it's as simple as that.
2006-09-01 15:57:44 · answer #10 · answered by Lex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋