jokes ......?

Question

There was a girl who lusted after a man. She wanted him. He asked her out for a date. He was to come to pick her up at 7pm on Saturday. At 6 55pm she felt that she had to fart. She did not want to fart in the house because she knew that it would smell and she did not want to have the man think that she had a stinky house. The fart was balled up in her intestines. It hurt. She had to fart. She developed a quick plan. When he walked her to the car he would open her door. She would fart while he walked aroud the car to his door. She would open the car window and fan all of the 'offensive' gas out of the car before he got in. The man arrived at 7pm, walked her to the car and opened the door as planned. When she got in she farted, a very loud BRAAAAAAT. She opened the window and waved her hands to fan the smell out. She was comfortable. The man got in, indicated to the back seat and said, 'Oh, by the way, I want to introduce you to my parents. They are going to eat with us'.

One evening, a very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant patiently awaiting her date. While waiting, she decided to make sure that she looked perfect for him. So the young lady bends down in her chair in order to get a mirror from her purse. Then just as the waiter walks up, she accidentally farts quite loudly. The lady immediately sat up straight, embarrassed and red faced, sure that everyone in the place had heard her. Quickly she turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure lady. Which way was it headed?"

A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the man cuts a fart. His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?" The man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead, 7 nothing." A few minutes later the wife lets one loose. The man says to her, "What was that?" She replies "Touchdown, tie score." The man lays there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he craps in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Halftime, switch sides." - Shelly

A woman goes into the doctor's office and says, 'Doctor, you have to help me...I've got this problem: You see I can't stop farting. I fart all the time, only they are silent and don't stink. As a matter of fact, I've farted 20 times just now while talking to you'. The doctor fills out a prescription and tells the lady: 'here, take these and come back in a week'. So she leaves and a week later comes back to the doctors office. 'Doctor, doctor you must help me! Now things are worse. I'm still farting all the time, they are still silent but now they smell something awful. You must do something! What were those pills you gave me?' The doctor replied, 'Oh don't worry, those pills where just to fix your sinus condition, now we'll work on your hearing problem'.

arent they funny

Answer 1

Thumbs up, but there really isn't a question...

Answer 2

Reminds me of the childhood rhyme: 'A fart is a breeze, that gives the belly ease, warms up the bed and suffocates the fleas'.

Or: The lady goes to the doctor with stomach cramp. As he examines her, she rips a big fart off. 'Don't worry doctor' she said 'they don't smell'. He continued his examination and again she rips one off 'Don't worry doctor, there is no smell' she said. A few minutes later the doctor said to her 'Right, we will have you in for an operation on Monday, alright?'. The lady asked 'Is it for my stomach doctor'. 'No' he replied 'it's for your bloody nose'...

Answer 3

I liked the 3rd and 4th joke best. also loved the polish car pool joke.

Answer 4

First two funny, third one disgustingly funny.

Answer 5

thank u for fun but i havent now any jokes to u

Answer 6

OOOOOOOOO these are good!