She phones me quite a lot and all i seem to do is listen to her.
2006-09-01 08:38:14 · 34 answers · asked by Candy 5 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
Believe me - listening is the best help you can give - even if your friend's repeating the same things. Just be there when she needs to talk even if you feel there's not much you can say in return.
2006-09-01 08:40:52 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That's all you can do... But, you can try to take her away from it for a break once in a while by going to the movies or dinner or something like that...
My mom has cancer too... I'm sure she's thinking the same thing I am... special holidays or different times of the year when things are usually special.. birthdays... weddings, babies and everything that she is not going to be able to share with her mom after she passes..
She's also thinking how she's not going to have her family with her..
Not to mention, what her mother and father are going through right now with the doctors and tests and tests and needles and scopes and the new terms and words and language that they are all dealing with.
Sometimes, it's best just to listen... don't give advice unless she asks for it... But do give her mind a break from it all, it is exhausting.
Best wishes to her and her family.
2006-09-01 08:50:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats just awful. I know you feel helpless, and as if you're not doing anything, but you are.
The big problem is that after a while people drift away. Be there for her - for a long time. It may take her ages to get back on her feet. She'll probably have two funerals to arrange, and its about 3-6 months after that people really lose touch.
See if she's entitled to a MacMillan nurse to help out, they're brilliant. Buy her little, not expensive but thoughtful gifts. A couple of Thorntons chocolates.
But just carry on listening. And let her know its ok for her to do that .
Later, help her to get back on her feet, arrange an evening out for the pair of you.
2006-09-01 08:57:00 · answer #3 · answered by sarah c 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please ,please, go to Amazon and purchase the book "How to fight Cancer and Win"The author is William L. Fisher and there's aforeword by Leslie H. Salov, MD. I've had two friends , one with breast cancer and the other with cancer of the spine. Today, thank God, they're both by following the advice given in that book are free of that dreaded disese. Dr Johanna Budwig, a famous German biochemist, and three times nominee for the Nobel Prize, is the author of the cure proposed cure. Her method cured me of an irregular hear beat which i suffered for the first 60 years of my life. Never visited a doctor. Today at 86, unlike most people, I try to imagine what it's like to be tired, even after running 12 miles. Skin as smooth as a baby, my secret? Dr Budwig's formula, as found in "How To Fight Cancer And Win.
Raymondb
2006-09-01 09:23:28 · answer #4 · answered by raymond b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that you are already doing the right thing by listening to her and being there for her. That is all you can do, but it is a lot. Keep on listening, don't give your opinion, don't tell her how she should be feeling, just be there. It sounds like you are a good friend to have around.
2006-09-01 09:35:52 · answer #5 · answered by Jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How unhappy, i'm sending useful desires via the web to you and your pal! I artwork with human beings death from maximum cancers and comprehend that there are not any magic words or moves, grieving is the most important leveller of human beings. we are able to all go via it in some unspecified time sooner or later in our lives yet we concern a lot of exclaiming the 'incorrect' ingredient that many human beings locate that their friends ward off them. you're of direction made up of superior stuff and that i ought to characterize you to be there as a lot as you are able to. Make your self accessible to communicate over with and help out in functional ideas mutually with cooking, cleansing, assisting with any little ones as data signifies that that is the weeks after lack of existence that human beings choose this help the most because the preliminary era is spent planning funerals and so on and the concepts is more effective occupied. advantages to you , i'm certain your pal will not in any respect forget your help and that i desire someone is almost as good to you once you lose someone you adore.
2016-12-06 02:53:04 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just lost my mother last Oct. so I can tell you honestly that your doing the best thing in the world for them by just being there and listening. I felt so helpless and lost and I don't think I would have been able to cope if not for the support of my best friend. She listened she let me cry on her shoulder and cried with me. She made me laugh. She offered to help me with the everyday things in life that have to be taken care of. Something as simple as. taking out the trash or picking up the kids or mail is greatly appreciated at times like this.
2006-09-01 09:14:19 · answer #7 · answered by psykobarbi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. Just try to be her friend, same as ever, take it one day at a time. Don't forget to look after yourself too- don't try to solve all her problems and end up having a breakdown yourself. Good luck, I hope her father recovers, and her mother is able to make the most of whatever time she has left. Keep strong, if either of you needs to talk to someone else, try the Samaritans. They'll always listen.
2006-09-01 08:48:40 · answer #8 · answered by Oracle Of Delphi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, i know how you feel and the girl feels. My Aunt and Grandma past away hours apart because they were very sick i was feeling terrible so all my friends were there 4 me and made sure i was occupied by something interesting. And even worse my grandpa died the next day a few years ago. Make her feel welcome any where she goes, take her on a shopping spree, go 2 carnivals my favorite is the beach. Do what she likes to do.
2006-09-01 08:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that she knows that you aren't going anywhere... it must be a scary time for her, fearing that she will lose the most important people in her life. Make sure that she knows that you are not going to drop out of the picture. Take her out if you don't want to talk about cancer all the time... go to the movies, parties, etc... get her mind off of it, and she will be grateful.
2006-09-01 08:45:30 · answer #10 · answered by Mila J 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋