Is my mother going to go overboard with her 1st grandbaby?

Question

My wife and I are hoping to conceive soon. We have been together for 5 years and this will be our first child. I am an only child and this will be my mother's first grandbaby.

She doesn't know we are even thinking about conceiving and he said she is getting rid of her truck so she can get a SUV. She wants a safe car for children and one that could fit many people.

She doesn't have any friends, a boyfriend or anyone else to ride in the car. It would literally just be my mom, me and my wife and any (future) kids in her car. My mom is planning on buying a vechicle because she assumes she will be a grandma soon!

Should I expect her to go overboard, like buy a crib for her house and rearrange her work schedule so she can care for our child often?

Has anyone's mom done this?

Is this normal for moms to plan things around future grandbabies?

Answer 1

100% normal!

Answer 2

It's sorta cute, but also a little bit selfish.
I have no problem with moms getting excited, but I think doing all of this stuff before you've even conceived is a bit overboard. Even if you were to conceive, there are so many things that can go wrong in the first trimester. How would your mom feel if she did all of these major things and then you lost a baby?
I really don't want to sound negative because I think it's wonderful that you want to be a dad and that your mom is so excited. I just wish people would think about the possible awkwardness of their actions. There is a time to be hopeful, there is a time to be aware, and then there is a time to be excited and make big purchases. Pre-conception is so far before the fact to get an suv that it's pretty silly.

I am close with many people who have lost babies in the first trimester. The more people that they told "immediately" the more awkward the situation is for them in their time of grief. People start congratulating them, giving gifts, planning showers waaaay too early. I think it's a lot more considerate to hold off on such things...even if it's your mother.

Good luck though, I do wish the best for you and your wife!

Answer 3

My mom has gone overboard and still continues to go overboard with my daughter (first grandbaby, my first child). She bought an SUV too because she needed a new car but was also glad that she can take my daughter and all her toys to the park, for example. My mom bought the crib and most of the furniture and about 90% of my daughter's wardrobe. I am very grateful for this because my husband and I are on a budget since I work from home now to take care of my daughter. My mom wishes she could watch my baby so I could go back to work but she has to work too. Good luck on becoming a daddy and enjoy what your mom gives you (love and financial support by spoiling your baby to come).

Answer 4

Your mother is definitely going to go crazy! It is just the way they are, especially since you said you are an only child, if you and your wife have a girl, it will probably be even worse.

My mother-in-law is expecting her first 2 grandchildren in Jan. and she is already talking about buying a crib for their northern and southern houses.

There is no getting around it. As for buying a new car, that seems a bit much, but maybe she is also thinking about something more fuel efficient, not just something safer for children.

What ever happens, just remember that your mom loves you and any little babies that will come. She may drive you nuts, but she is your mom.

Answer 5

My mom did and I wasn't even out of high school yet. She didn't go out and buy a new car or anything but she would buy childrens books, baby toys, i had a couple really nice baby blankets. Throughout college my collection was growing. By the time I got pregnant she got all the bibs, burping clothes, blankets, sheets, all my maternity clothes and a ton of other sutff.

All I can say if this will be her first grandchild, let her do it. Just tell her up front that she doesn't need to do all that if she continues then thats what she wants to do. If doing this pleases her than let her do it. Just remember to say thank you and a few extra "I love you mom" wouldn't hurt either.

Answer 6

Pretty much. Well, in my case anyway, and I'm NOT an only child. My mom got rid of her two door, for a four door when I had kids. She has a room set up in her house for the boys, and she spoils them rotten come birthdays and Christmas. It's great to have a grandma that is so involved with her grandkids. The good thing is she knows not to overstep her "bounds" as well. If I'm disciplining one of the boys, she stays out of it. If I make a decision on what they can and can't do, she respects that.

So be glad that your mom is excited to have grandkids, just be ready to tell her that's all she is, is Grandma. She's not the mom anymore, and she has to let you and your wife make the decisions when it comes to your child. Good luck on the baby and have fun!! =)

Answer 7

Yes, she is going to go overboard. That is her right as a Grandma. Buying a crib for her house is not overboard. No, you shouldn't expect or ask her to rearrange her work schedule. She already raised one kid. She's a very smart woman. Let her help. Let her enjoy Grandma hood. Never forget, though, that your wife is the Mom, now.

Answer 8

that sounds just like my mom... i live 30 minutes away so i cant just pick up my son after work, so sometimes he stays with her. she has her own set of everything. as first she was going over board, she wanted him all the time. and i was like "he is my child, mom, go have your own baby." her first grandchild and still her only. my parents "baby" my son and he's 4 years old. she undermines me in a lot of ways and it really gets to me. like ill snap at her because she doesnt listen to what i say. she is just trying to take control of my son and i hate it. my mom bought a new truck in 2004 so she had a "safe and big" ride for my son. if she is soo concerned about his safety why not buy me a newer big safe car, rather then my old car. my mom doesnt work so she gets him the days that i offer her. the rest of the working days he goes to his aunties house who is my babysitter for the time being. she always pushes for more days to watch him, but i dont believe she is the best person to watch my son because she is too overprotective (babies him), like i said before. to keep an eye and ear open. this is just my experiences. i know i got off subject a little bit about the overprotectiveness, but just so you know.

Answer 9

Take it from a grandma of 1. She will buy everything for her house and yours lol. Nothing is to good for a grandchild - Unfortunately, she may get on your nerves because grandmas know it all about babies - so try and have patience with her. Mine is 9 already and I spoil him terribly. I bought TONS of stuff for him way before he was born - actually it all started the day I was told he was on the way. Good luck!! It'll be lots of fun

Answer 10

Definitley. If you're her only child than this is very normal. She just wants to be there for you and your wife. She understands that being a first time parent is difficult and she simply wants to be apart of it. Expect the unexpected. She's your mother and she just wants the best for her future grandchildren. When I got pregnant my dad flipped and he bought us a house right down the block from my theirs. Good luck.

Answer 11

Yes, it's fairly normal to want to splurge and plan. However...she is going really overboard. My parents bought a minivan when my siter got pregnant for the same reason...but she was already pregnant.

Also, I'd expect her to purchase a crib or bassinett or some place for the baby. You might want to talk to her though...sounds like she's really super lonely if she is planning to this degree when you guys aren't even pregnant.