My mom is a controling neat freak. Was my action ok?

Question

My mom is very controlling and is a neat freak perfectionalist. We were at my dad's business, and my dad called me (he wasn't there) and told me to send a fax to a company.

I was taping a small paper license onto a normal 8.5X11 paper so I could send it through the fax. Then my mom told me that the small paper that I was begining to tape down was tilted. I got pissed off, but didn't say anything, then i silently handed her the paper and gave her a "then you do it" look.

I placed it on the desk in front of her and walked out.

Could I have done something better? Or do u think I sent the message across to her??

Answer 1

She should have goten the message but you never know. Why don't you call her on it? Can't fix something if you don't know its broken, right? Maybe pointing things out about her nit picking will sink in? Maybe Dad could help you too?

Answer 2

I was under the impression taped things couldn't go through a fax machine because there's the chance they could come partially undone, and the adhesive could be a problem. Maybe that's what your mother thought too. Most people would have copied the taped-sheet and sent the copy through.

One other note: You know, there are a lot of people in the world who have trouble keeping neat and who assume everyone who finds that being neat makes life easier are "control freaks". Some people are just organized, like to do things the right way to prevent problems, and find that doing it right prevents having to do it over. If your mother makes no effort to control you and only likes things that have to do with her own life, own house and own personal issues neat or "right" be careful not to assume she's a "control freak". Many people like to control their own stuff and life and selves but make no attempt to control other people. It may happen that you share her house and feel she's controlling if she wants the towels on the rack a certain way, but that's her house when it comes down to it. Do you realize that many, many messy people are actually control freaks because by being messy and needing their mess out and around where everyone else has to clean around it, walk around it or otherwise deal with it they get to have a little control - so I'm just saying before you automatically assume that your mother's choice and preference is to be neat, don't automatically link that to being a control freak.

Look up "control freak" in some psychological reference material.

Many people who aren't as skilled at keeping this lives in order need to call the neat people "control freaks" because if they face up to the fact that other, neater people are more organized and skilled at doing things right they have to face their own lack of skill in that area.

There's nothing all that horrible about aiming for perfection. Maybe it can't always be achieved, but its a decent goal; especially when a person is trying to run a household that's pleasant for her kids.

That fax was a matter for your father's business. In business most people are expected to do things right. Maybe your mother didn't want a cock-eyed thing getting sent out under the name of your father's business because such haphazardness would reflect on your father's business - not on you. When you get more mature you'll understand more why people want and need to do things right. You're a kid. You can't be blamed right now for your apparent distaste for doing things right.

Answer 3

Well, you could have reacted a little different than you did. You were disrespectful and rude to your mother. You could have just bitten your tongue and readjusted the paper. I think it would be a great idea if you would approach her and sit down and talk. Tell her how much you love her and then continue on with your concerns (her controlling and perfectionist behaviors) and how you feel when she doesn't think the you're not doing thing's "good enough". Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

Um, this is complicated to respond to this question while no person knows what you probably did. i'm asserting you're able to probable only pay interest on your grades and not relationships (different than your friends) and not your attractiveness on account that lots of persons who do tend to do undesirable issues. Get sturdy grades and do little issues around the abode to show accountability like the dishes and laundry and stuff and desire your mom realizes which you're rather making an attempt.

Answer 5

Better than some would have done. It sounds like she has OCD. Some people clash in their personalities and there isnt much you can do about it but you did exactly right, You have to show her that she can't control YOU. But you are also walking a very fine line with it being your Mother. So yes, you did very well!

Answer 6

I doubt you got the message across, but I would've done the exact same thing. If she didn't like the way you were doing it, then she can just flat out do it herself. That's kinda silly, to worry about the little piece of paper you're taping not being straight, but I know people who are just like that, my mother in law is. I just don't help her with stuff, life is too short to get upset over people like that, if they want it done "their" way, then just let them. Hey, it's one less thing you have to do, right?

Answer 7

Indeed. My hubby is a germ freak. He works like a hundred hours a week and complains that I haven't Lysol'd the door knobs at least 15 times that day. I hand him a can and say do it yourself wanker.

Answer 8

Now by "My Mom" are you talking about the person who gave you life, raised you, pays your bills, cooks your dinners, buys your clothes, that MOM? If so then you did plenty!

Answer 9

Your mother has OCD. Get her on medication before it ruins your lives. Trust me on this one.

Answer 10

i would have done the same thing. but i dont think she got the message