22, female, in $10,000 credit card debt. Anyone else going through this hell?

Question

I lived with a man that paid all my bills and I wasnt working. I got store credit cards and jacked them up b/c I would be so bored at the house. We broke up and now I'm stuck paying for them! It was such a STUPID thing to do but at the time I was enjoying it. Just wondering who else was going through this and how you are coping.

I do have a job and the credit cards have been cut up and closed!!

One more thing: I have consolidated all of them on one credit card with a 4.02% interest rate. :o)

i love oral_69: you need to grow up and use a different name. only a slut or prick would use that name.

Answer 1

Well...I've been that buried and yeah, one way or another, for different reasons, the 3 men I've loved and trusted screwed up my credit.

How do you cope? First off, look towards consumer credit counselors to help pay down that debt. They can make arrangements that lower your monthly payments and interest rates which will make it easier to pay off.

Now is the time, while you are still young and the bad lesson is fresh in your mind to learn some really essential information about finances, especially for women.

I hate to say this, but even in a strong relationship, you should NOT be counting on a man to support you. Now, IF you're married, want to be a stay at home mom, AND there's enough money coming in to afford you not working AND there's still enough money to cover the bills, pay for life insurance and put away savings (including both retirement and emergency cash), THEN and only then, should you consider not working yourself.

Why? Because more than half of all marriages end in divorce, and because even awesome husbands die from unexpected illness or accidents. Unless there's a strong financial base and insurance, you will be left ill-equipped to earn enough to pay your bills. Only about 1 in 3 women collect their full child support and if dad isn't making very good money, child support isn't enough to live off of, and spousal support is getting rare.

You need to cover your own bases, always.

Now as to the credit demon. With the exception of a mortgage, credit is a bad thing. Now if you have the income and self-control to use a rewards card (like a mileage card) AND pay it off every single month, you shouldn't use credit.

Using credit cards means a good chunk of your current and future income is going to pay for the past, which can quickly create a situation where you can't cover current needs and have to rely on more credit just to get buy. Before you know it, you're buried. Add the possibility of unemployment or a long illness and you could quickly end up in big trouble!

You can't change what you did in the past, but you can learn from it to improve your future. Being in control of your finances is very empowering.

So...stop kicking yourself. You've done that enough. Make sure you have a good job, and if necessary work 2 jobs for a few months to get a jump on those bills.

Make a cash plan, also known as a budget, so you are sure you can cover your bills, put aside savings and know what you can truly afford to spend on stuff you really don't have to have. In other words, budget your play money. Plan for savings for larger purchases - even when it comes to cars and houses, you should always plan for a good-sized down payment (and unless you make a lot of money, driving paid-for cars is really the best idea).

Once you get out from under that elephant, you can sleep better and manage your cash, and limit your credit, so you don't end up there again.

Most young people do this, so don't feel too bad.

One more thing, being totally dependent on a man changes the power structure of a relationship and that's usually not for the good. Besides, really good guys respect a gal that wants to contribute to the household finances, as well as building your dreams together. Family life is too expensive to lay the whole burden on the man.

Answer 2

Nightrider, the 4.02% may not be a teaser rate. There are offers out there for that and better on balance transfers for the life of the balance. For example, I was able to consolidate my remaining credit card balances at 1.99% for the life of the balance, and with no balance transfer fee either. It may be hard to find that good a deal now that interest rates have risen a bit, but 4.02% sounds possible.

The important thing is to realize that when you have a "life of balance" deal like that, you mustn't use the card for anything else until you pay off the balance in full and allow the account to cycle once at a zero balance. New purchases will typically get the regular purchase interest rate (probably much higher) and they will stay on the account because your payments will get applied first to the old balance at the favorable rate. So you will have lost much of the benefit of the deal.

Answer 3

The things people do for love......!! Boggles my mind.

At the time when you were spending like a drunken sailor on a shore leave, did you stop for one second - and think - what if this really comes back to haunt me...?????

There is a lesson in it for all the readers out there - about your saga and your sad story.

OK, 'nuff said. Now, go to the bank (you now have a job right?) - get a personal loan and pay all those cards off. One wise thing you did is to cut them up. You will have one low monthly payment. At least you won't be paying those ridiculous 18% to 22% interest rate these card companies charge. It is so unconscionable.

You are not stupid - you were just blinded by love - you are now older and wiser. We all make mistakes in life. The good thing is, to learn from our mistakes and not repeat them.

Ha...!! 4.02% interest rate with one credit card company? Did you check the fine print.? It is what I call teaser rate. Good for the first 6 months. What other strings are attached? Get all the facts. If there is something in those fine prints that will land you in hot soup, get the hell out. Get it from a bank where you know your rate is going to stay put for a definite term. (I am not a banker, just trying to help out in case fine prints escaped your eyes).

Answer 4

I'm 21 and I'm in about $8,000 worth of credit card debt. I was in college, and I didn't have to pay for college (government funded VA money). I had a job, and paid for my rent and bills that way, but anything I deemed I *needed* I bought with credit cards.

Now I'm in a ridiculous amount of debt which is completely my fault, because I didn't really understand and I thought I could pay it all off after I got into a good job. Ha! Right!

Now I have creditors calling me all the time. I'm looking for a better job now, and I'm going to start living within my means. I've torn up all my credit cards, and I haven't paid anything on them after I couldn't make the minimum payments anymore. I'm pretty sure they're all in collections.

I am going to start living "below my means" since for so long I was obviously living above my means. I'm putting myself on a strict budget so I can start saving 75$ a week. It's not a lot, but after I get a good chunk saved up, probably around 800$ I am going to start calling collection agencies to let them know that I can pay the full thing- but not in full. You can often barter these credit card companies down from the 1,000$ you owe on a card down to 800$ if that's what you have. I don't know what else to do really. Otherwise, marry rich, but that won't happen soon.

I'm really worried about it because I know it takes 7 years for your credit to go back to normal, and I'm hoping that by the time I'm 30 I will be in good credit again. I know I was really stupid by doing that to myself, but we all make mistakes. This has taught me a very vaulable lesson about the value of a dollar however and how to avoid credit cards for the rest of my life.

Answer 5

Three Suggestions 1) Consolidate your debts 2) File bankruptcy (bankruptcy is not advised for all cases) 3) Contact a credit counselor:


Ways to Consolidate Debt
http://www.debt-explained.com/category/Ways-to-Consolidate-Debt.html


How to Avoid Bankruptcy Explained
http://www.debt-explained.com/category/How-to-Avoid-Bankruptcy-Explained.html

Credit Counseling Programs
http://www.complete-debt-info.com/category/Credit-Counseling-Programs.html

Answer 6

Yup. I'm trying to find some bank that'll give me a loan to pay off all the credit debt so I just have one monthly payment. And now i have two jobs...ugh

Answer 7

Well then, it appears that your hell has a fully functional air conditioner and ceiling fan too boot, if you have managed to secure a 4.02% interest rate.

And just remember, every amusement ride eventually requires a fare -- when you pay it is all up to you (and your creditors)!

:-)

Answer 8

Time to get a job and pay those things off. What was the guy doling only paying the minimums on everything?

Answer 9

dont worry we all get on that boat one way or another, my parents were paying for my rent and school, yet i kept applying for credit cards everytime one got maxed up, right now i can't even tell my parents that i'm in debt since they've been paying for everything. they'll shoot me if they ever find out about it especially if they find out about what i spent it on. i can't even pronouce how much i gotta pay, at the time it was worth it, u know designer ****, trips, etc...
u got the guts to cut them up, right on and good luck

Answer 10

I was dating a girl, paid for her jeep to get fixed, jewelry, and moved out together...its been almost a year and I am still about 6 months away from getting out from underneath the debt.