My husband has two children from a past marriage. His daughter and his ex-wife showed up at our house this morning and said "We'd like to introduce you to your grandson". Evidently, his daughter gave birth to a little boy about three months ago. My husband had no idea she was even pregnant. The last time he saw her was on Christmas of 2005. We had no idea she was pregnant then. She said she was too afraid to tell my husband and made her mother promise not to. My husband speaks with his children over the phone regularly and still, nobody told him. Shouldn't he have had the right to know that his daughter was pregnant so he could be there for her and be there for the birth and get to know his grandson? They're all moving to Montana in about a month and now my husband doesn't have any time to get to know his grandson. The father of the baby is evidently a Mexican who was deported and is/wont be in the picture. How should I deal with this? How should he deal with this?
2006-09-01 06:46:16 · 11 answers · asked by Garrrr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
His daughter is 16, and they have a good relationship. They've always gotten along. Before anyone negates my husbands parenting abilities, just know that he hasn't given either child any reason to fear or distrust him.
2006-09-01 07:09:16 · update #1
I truly believe the decision is his daughter's to make. She chose for him not to know for a reason, even though the reason may be unknown. At this point, she has decided that she would like him to know about her child for whatever reason. As far as them moving and not getting to know each other, well that is just the situation. If he had known about him, and had gotten to know him, would he be willing to make the trip to Montana to maintain a relationship with him ?? Don't dwell too much on the past, and look towards the future, and how you would like it to be. Good Luck
2006-09-01 06:53:14 · answer #1 · answered by OnE GiRL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He better spoil the baby while he has the chance. Tell him not to be hurt, she was just scared about what daddy would think. It was a crappy thing to do though. But, whats done is done, and this next month will set the tone of whatever relationship he will forever have with that baby. Chances are, his daughter had a good reason for being scared. Remember, you haven't known him forever. It goes to show he didn't have a good relationship with his own children either.
2006-09-01 13:51:53 · answer #2 · answered by spidermonkeyfingers 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There must be something about your husband's behavior or demeanor that causes his daughter to keep things from him. This was a big one. Of course he had the right to know about the birth of his grandchild, but that's all water under the bridge now. He should let his daughter know that he wants to get to know his grandson and to keep in touch. And he should mean it.
As to how you should deal with it? Do the same!
2006-09-01 13:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband nee to have a heat to heart with his daughter and try not to be critcal about things that cant b changed i have grown kids and grand kids and i find the best way to always b there is to let them know i am try offering to pay there way back to vist ever so often call email pic ture there is so many way s to b there it just takes a lil effort good luck and God bless
2006-09-01 13:59:31 · answer #4 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't cry over spilled milk-Be an adult and a positive force for the daughter and the baby.It's too late for worrying about the hubby's rights. Tell him to be positive-Things will work out.
2006-09-01 13:52:15 · answer #5 · answered by boilerrat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys should go talk to someone that will be able to help your husband deal with the issues that will come up in the future. And yes he should have been able to be there for his daughter, but we all make decissions that we might regret later. But we make those decissions and have to live with them.
Good luck to you all.
2006-09-01 13:50:23 · answer #6 · answered by thejenjens 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well first of all your husband should see his kids more often. let his daughter take care of her child and hope she is a better parent than her dad. thats all I have to say.
2006-09-01 13:55:33 · answer #7 · answered by flutterflie04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the ex is possibly spreading stories about daddy.
2006-09-01 14:20:01 · answer #8 · answered by Forever Looking 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he goes that long without seeing his children, he doesn't have no rights.
2006-09-01 13:49:33 · answer #9 · answered by Tim 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
not much u can do, just stay in touch.
2006-09-01 14:05:27 · answer #10 · answered by thesunnshynne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋