I;m Zaikee13, and Im 14 years old. About a month ago, my mom and dad got mad and broke up. 3 days later, they got back together. crazy right? then 2 nights ago my mom didnt want to be with him and they start arguing and the next MORNING they are BACK TOGETHER!!!!! Whats their problem!!!! What do I do they need to make up their mad and they are affecting me and my brothers and sister!!! I /THEY NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-01 06:07:30 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Every marriage has it's share of problems. It sounds like your mom and dad are going through some rough times. I know it's tough for you kids to be there when they're arguing, but it sounds like they're trying to work it out. Is there any physical violence (hitting, punching etc...)? If so, and you feel like you are in danger then you need to call someone to get you and your brothers and sister out of the house (grandparents, friends - anyone who will keep you safe). I suggest that you, and your siblings if they're old enough, talk to your parents - together if possible- about the problem. Chances are that they are so wrapped up in the problems of their marriage they don't recognize what you are going through. When you talk to them don't get an attitude - just talk calmly and tell them they are hurting you (all) and that shouldn't put them on the defensive. Understand that your Mom and Dad are hurting just like you are. Even grown ups have feelings that get shattered from time to time. You can always talk to your counselor at school - don't be afraid to do that, it's what they're there for. They aren't going to take you and your siblings away from your parents for something so minor. Try to be understanding with your parents as they work through their problems, and above all BE SAFE and look out for your brothers and sister. Maybe you kids could spend some time away from home with a grandparent or something to get away from the problems at home and to give your mom and dad some time alone to work it out. If for some reason it can't be resolved, don't ever blame yourself. Grown ups have their own problems and sometimes they try to lay blame on the kids, but it's never really their fault at all. Hang in there sweetie!
2006-09-01 06:24:34 · answer #1 · answered by heartforhelping 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately this may or may not be a common thing in many relationships. Some people dont know if they can be happy in the relationship they are in so the often question whether or not to be together. However, your mom or dad should not be coming to you to help with the problem. Nor should they even be discussing their problems with you. You and your siblings do not need to be exposed to their issues, that is for them to sort out. If you are comfortable enough saying it, maybe next time they approach you to discuss it, tell them that you want to stay out of it and not get involved. This could be very helpful to you and your siblings if down the road they do decide to separate. They may not expect you to take one side over the other because you listened to their problems individually. You could mention seeing a counselor, but that is a very touchy subject for most couples, especially if it is coming from their daughter. Good luck!!
2006-09-01 06:18:23 · answer #2 · answered by Sara S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. One of my best friends in high school lived in a household with the exact same situation -- mom and dad would fight, talk divorce, and then make up later, only to have the cycle repeat itself over and over again. My advice to you is to talk to them about it. You'll have to pick the date, time, and place, but it might have more impact if you let them have it right between the eyes in the middle of an argument. That might be enough to cut through the haze they're living in and make them see that their problems are about more than just their own selfish wants and needs. I wish you luck.
2006-09-01 06:15:03 · answer #3 · answered by sarge927 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most inportant thing right now is you and your siblingsand let your parents work it out I'm 34 and my parents did the same thing once when I was 21 and again at 34 splitting up was the best for both of them, it is quite madding but there is nothing you can do to stop it. Just being supportive to both of them
Good luck
2006-09-01 07:24:56 · answer #4 · answered by Dawn A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure they are affecting you! its good that your parents are actually making up, a lot dont. I know it might be hard, but talk to your parents and tell them that it is hurting your and your siblings then also ask them if they could please not fight or argue where you can hear or see them. also know that you are not the reason for the fights and if anything does happen they will still love you the same. I have been through this too.
2006-09-01 06:15:30 · answer #5 · answered by flutterflie04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents did the same thing for 4 years AFTER they got a divorce. You are right, they need to speak with a marriage councelor and get everything out on the table. Remember that they both love you and that no matter how hard you try, you cannot break them up or keep them together. You focus on school and enjoying your youth! Best of luck to you!
2006-09-01 06:14:00 · answer #6 · answered by DHAZ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You really need to tell them how you feel. I have been in the same situation. You just need to know that htey love you and probably do not realize how it is effecting you.
2006-09-01 12:58:38 · answer #7 · answered by Broken_Inside 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cry alot and then start cutting yourself. Then tell them it is all their fault.
Also you could have one of your Bro/Sis start banging their head against a wall at the same time.
They will forget all about thier problems.
2006-09-01 07:58:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess they love each other and where there is love, there are fights....its their way of living.....Let them live the way they want to & u enjoy ur life...my parents fight everyday in the morning for small things.....they are doing this since 20 yrs now....they love each other very much..........Thank God.....
2006-09-01 06:15:11 · answer #9 · answered by useless 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them how you feel. Let them know how their behavior is affecting you and your siblings and that they should have their conversations in private where nobody else can hear.
2006-09-01 06:13:37 · answer #10 · answered by Smitty 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋