I just feel really betrayed by it but I know its a guy thing, we argue about it but he hasn't stopped and doesnt understand how it makes me so insecure. Hes turning me into a freak... I check his temporary internet files everyday and just get so angry when I see he's been looking at it time and time again...
2006-09-01 05:47:46 · 33 answers · asked by Ashley 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can be OK with it or not, its up to you, but if you think you are going to find a guy that is not into porn, then you are looking for a weirdo!
Maybe you wouldn't feel so 'insecure' if you knew that your feller was not on his own, and that 90% of the male population are into porn! (married or not)!
Just to give you perhaps a boring example, around Queen Victoria's time in England doctors were allowed to experiment with patients in the lunatic asylums, they discovered that 90% of the inmates masturbated, and drew the obvious conclusion that masturbation sends people around the bend!!
What they didn't know in those days was that 90% of non nutters also masturbated!!(married or not)
So if you are looking for a feller not interested in porn you have a difficult task ahead, and could end up with a real nut case , laugh it off, ignore it, don't try and make him feel guilty about it, he is not on his own.
I've never really tried looking at this from a woman's point of view but I suppose I can see your point about feeling 'insecure' and perhaps even 'inadequate'?
But at the end of the day its not all about sex, porno, etc is it? this problem only exists if you think it does!
One other word of wisdom, keep out of his personal Internet files, would you like him poking into your personal diary??
Just checked your profile and noticed this is your first question!
Welcome to the 'scene' !
And if this is going to be your biggest problem then you really have nothing to worry about at all.
2006-09-01 07:08:56 · answer #1 · answered by budding author 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch it with him definitely. He'd probably love it if you gave him a bj while watching, or try masturbating together. It'll take some of the pressure off the situation if you try to accept it - don't get all feminist on him or act like a priss. If it really bothers you that's a problem, because he's not going to stop, but the less you make it Taboo the less he'll probably watch it. Just ride it out. So many guys watch porn. It's just how things are these days.
At least he's horny, and maybe picking up some good tips at the same time!
2006-09-01 07:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by tenillemuffburger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not going to stop and you can't control him. If it makes you feel that insecure than you are having other self esteem issues as well. I have the same problems honey and have learned some things. For one, who a guy loves and who a guy fantasizes about are not the same person. girls are brought up to think that the guy they marry will think they are the most beautiful and their fantasy but its not true. Also, every picture is airbrushed. He is not even looking at real women, just piece of artowrk that someone created with photoshop to be ultimately fantasizing. I find most men that look at alot of porn or at least care about how hot woemn look often think about women in sexual terms and are superficial. if your guy treats you right maybe go to counseling and stick with him, its all how you perceive the porn that is the problem. however many girls have self esteem issues with this. for instance, it bothered me so much i turned to anorexia and still have problems coping with it. i've also learned alot about myself like i can't control guys and I need to get rid of them when they aren't making me feel good about myself. when you find the guy that loves you and cares about you entirely you may not have this problem anymore
2006-09-01 05:54:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel so insecure? You will drive yourself mad if you keep thinking like this and possibly,you may drive him away too.
Accept that he is with you because he wants to be NOT because he has to be and perhaps try talking about why this upsets you but, do not try talking in an argument as nothing usually gets resolved this way.
Maybe try talking to him when he is not actually looking at anything you don`t like.
I hope you manage to sort this between you and that you find true happiness in your relationship.
2006-09-01 06:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by Happy. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is digusting and it should bother you,but
the way the world is now,people are sooo
desperate and lonely that they will put up
with it in order not to be alone.
Porn kills love!!!!
So eventually lonliness will happen,and when
it does,more cold hearts are created,and
no one blames it on the porno.
You should feel betrayed,and if you didn't
something would be wrong!!!
Those who feel it's okay have been hurt way
too many times,so of course it's not a big
deal to them. Everyone wants someone to
love,but somewhere inside each one of us,
we know if something is wrong or not on
some level,even if it's way down deep.
Trust yourself!!! Remind that man,it's lonely
out there,and if he don't care,let him go!!!
2006-09-01 06:00:14 · answer #5 · answered by slappingfox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never understood the watching porn alone thing. my G/F and I watch it together every now and then. You might try that. If you have told him how it makes you feel and he hasn't changed his behavior there is more to the story. Maybe he has an addiction. maybe he is to embaressed. Mybe he is just not worth you time if he keeps hurting you.
2006-09-01 06:11:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not comfortable with it then it's not ok. I wouldn't feel too comfortable with it either. My hubby, (who is not too computer literate and didn't realise that I can view the history of sites visited) has been caught out a couple of times. We just laugh about it but he doesn't feel the need to look at it constantly. If it makes you feel bad and he loves you, then he shouldn't rub your nose in it.
2006-09-01 06:33:18 · answer #7 · answered by irish_glen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch it with him, it might be fun. I don't think watching porn is the same as having an affair, it probably prevents such an occurence. He may be your boyfriend, but as an adult it is still up to him what he does. I think women are too insecure.
2006-09-01 05:55:35 · answer #8 · answered by William G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless he's participating than whats the issue? My EX was also insecure and that's a huge turn off, PS why are you spying on him by checking his internet files? Has he cheated on you? If so than leave him, if not than suck it up sister. Just remember you can't change him anymore than he can change you.
2006-09-01 05:56:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
your the one with the problem all men look if they did not then u would have problem you spy on him u sound like a con troll freak what kind of life would you have if he spied on every thing u done and went, u never look at a man and say he nice and think a bit of ooooooooooooomy yes i would. get a life and grow up
2006-09-01 11:12:40 · answer #10 · answered by eyeswideshut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋