my father turned his back on me as a child because of his wife she couldnt not accept the fact that he had kids and all this woman has never taking the time to get to me or anything my father has six grandkids he couldnt tell u one thing about them and to top that off just this year i found out i had a sister thats 24 i have never meet before and my father knew about her and all and she lived right in the same city as me and all but we finally got to meet and it was a blessing to have found her but its a shame that it took this man that brought us into the world to separate us like that it was not fair to us cause we have lost so much time and now we have to catch up and all i hurt so bad from this a tried to reach out to him he just shuts me out like i am nobody to him i am his daughter and i want to know why he put a woman before his own flesh and blood it scares me real bad and for real it hurt like hell
2006-09-01 05:43:47 · 24 answers · asked by sweet s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
HE IS NOT A MAN!!!! any body with a d1ck can make kids, but only a REAL man can bring them up!
2006-09-01 05:46:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I feel very sorry for you, sweetie, and also for your father. He has psychological problems that prevent him from having a close, happy relationship with his kids and taking proper care of them. There's nothing you can do to change him, but there are a couple of things you should watch out for in yourself, that could cause you even more unhappiness.
One is to blame yourself and think that somehow it's your fault. It isn't! Your father's inner problems are his, not yours. He had them long before you ever came along.
Another thing to avoid is getting in the habit of thinking of yourself as a victim. The wrong that your father did to you, has been done. You can relive it as a lifelong victim, or you can put it in the past where it belongs, learn from it, and go forward in life--stronger, happier, and wiser.
Please try to forgive your father. That may take a long time and a lot of emotional work on your part, but it will certainly pay off in terms of your own peace and happiness.
God bless you!
2006-09-01 06:53:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a good one. I don't think theirs a good answer for any of what you ask. Seems like dad is just a hardened man. Please don't dwell on him. If there is one thing in life I have learned, It's that I don't have control of others. So I take care of me and my kids and make sure that this won't happen to them.Some people have problems that are the flip side of yours. (example) Some parents have done so well for themselves financially and with their family that their kids grow up feeling like a failure.This is a bad kind of hurt to. It's tough on everyone. I think the best answer would be to love your hardened father unconditionally as you do your kids. Dads are kids to. Some fathers never grow up......The past is gone .....set your course for the future.........sincerly......a shoulder to cry on..Bill
2006-09-01 06:13:51 · answer #3 · answered by Billy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, my father AND mother did the same to my brother and I. Our father walked away and then married a woman with 4 kids! He raised them and never was in our lives at all. Our mother married a guy with 3 kids while my brother and I went to live with our great grandmother. Grandma raised us well. We still do not know our father. Last we heard, his wife had died and also one of his step children. My mother is still married to that man and we have a very strained relationship at best. I buried the pain, it really doesn't phase me. I have a family of my own and a happy life. It is really all you can do.
2006-09-01 05:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry about that. My dad beat me all my life. I kind of, deep inside, always wished that he would leave me. THat way at least I wouldnt have to be hurt like that anymore and I wouldnt have to be afraid for my life. Or to be afraid to come home from school in the afternoon. So i know how you feel. I m sorry that he has done this to you. Now i have finally moved out and he is really mad at me. I only did it for my safety. But he dont care. Now he could care less. Not that ever did care
2006-09-01 13:05:11 · answer #5 · answered by Broken_Inside 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people see themselves as a doner and nothing more. They have no problem detaching themselves from people or children they never allowed themselves to be attached to in the first place. I am sorry you have a father like that....... and in the end he will be the one that is sorry......... not you. You did all you could to reach out and be apart of him and his life. He has made his choices and he will have to live with those choices and the consequences that come with those choices. I am glad to hear that you have reunited with your sister........ and you have a lifetime to share and to be together......... blessed be.........
2006-09-01 05:49:55 · answer #6 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for your heartbreak.
I also feel for your Dad. He probably has severe insecurity problems and probably an inferiority complex.
Perhaps he recognized he did wrong but so much time elapsed he was afraid to confront it and ask for forgiveness.
Take the high road and give him that forgiveness and see if he re-enters your life in a positive way. If he doesn't, well you will feel you did every thing posibble. If he does you and your family will feel elated.
Either way you can't lose.
2006-09-01 05:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by Carl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any one who shuns the family that they helped create is a complete W-nker.
Of course you may not know the full story,but that is still no excuse.
A good friend of mine separated from his wife( she had an affair).The woman is a compulsive liar,The courts have denied him access to his children.
every card/present that he sends to his children is returned.He keeps them all in the hope that one day he will be able to explain to his children,that he did not stop loving them.They may understand and forgive him-all he can do is wait.
2006-09-01 05:55:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably had to do with the fact that your mother gave him a hard time about being in your life. Many women who have children outside of wedlock or get divorced use the children as a weapon to vent their frustrations against the ex.
2006-09-01 05:49:13 · answer #9 · answered by Joe K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look every bodie has problems my mother been in prison for 15 years sence 2000 and befor that she was only out but 2 times and I only seen her maybe once or twice and sence shes been locked up 1 time and sence then I havent heard from her at all so don't worrie youre not the only on with family problems you don't need them they need you thats why they leave.
2006-09-01 05:51:04 · answer #10 · answered by sexy ladie in red 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a very sad situation. Your father might have had a reason and as always there's two sides to every story. Sorry for your pain and hopefully one day, things will be better
2006-09-01 05:46:43 · answer #11 · answered by shizzlechit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋