And what if you all ready have children but you've met some one that dosen't want kids. would you still go out with them?
ps...this is a hypothetical ( i am married with 2 kids :D ) so this "advice" isn't for me personally.
can't wait to read your answers
Thanks
2006-09-01 05:35:37 · 24 answers · asked by Tammy M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thanks for the great answers so far.
Just a note. Don't assume its the guy who dosen't want the kids. It could be the lady who dosen't want kids. Think about that :)
2006-09-01 05:55:16 · update #1
Wow! Good question.
If you and your partner really got to know each other before you got to the point of actually creating kids, you should have discussed your future life plans. If your partner told you then that they didn't want children, what would possess you to think that you could change their mind? Unfortunately, this is often what happens and when a relationship is fresh and new, people ignore many signs that if paid attention to will either help make a relationship strong or show it isn't going to last. I think a decision about having children is pretty major! Good luck convincing whoever you're asking this for of these points.
2006-09-01 05:42:38 · answer #1 · answered by ukershark 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is not an easy thing to answer. When you meet someone and then form a relationship everything should be out in the open and communication should be the key. If you already know that your partner doesn't want children and you do, it can become a problem later on. If you are willing to compromise and sacrifice not having children, somewhere down the line, you are going to feel regret and possibly resentment.
If you already have children and you met someone who doesn't want children, I would still go out with them. Why wouldn't you. It isn't like you don't have children already. Yes you may want to have more with your partner, but if you know this going into a relationship that he doesn't want any children of his own, then only you can decide if you want to continue with the relationship or not. Depends on how much you care for your partner and are you willing to give up the idea of having more children. If you are happy with that then go for it. You can possibly lose someone that could be the best thing for you. Of course open communication is always the best. You need to talk these matters over and come to a decision TOGETHER.
2006-09-01 12:54:21 · answer #2 · answered by allyp51 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they don't want kids, there must be a reason. Bad experience? Just scared? Sit and talk about it. Maybe children are important to you but not as important as you thought. Likewise, when it's out in the open, then maybe the reasons aren't so much reasons as just unknowns.
Are there alternatives? Maybe the hesitation is about how lives will be changed. May be adoption is an answer. Maybe there are 'stories' that just aren't true that are keeping him from wanting kids.
No magic answer, a relationship is so much more than ANY single issue.
2006-09-01 12:43:48 · answer #3 · answered by words_smith_4u 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not go with some one who does not take interest in my kids or any kids for that matter. Some men don't like kids.
And as far as having a partner who does not want kids. That should of been talked about at the time when they first met.
2006-09-01 12:42:18 · answer #4 · answered by X-Woman 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is no way to resolve it. If you want or already have kids and the person you are dating doesn't want children than it's best to stop seeing each other. Alot of marriages end when two people get married and one wants children and the other doesn't.
2006-09-01 12:41:49 · answer #5 · answered by bubblz135 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well as far as dating go u should date him if u like him just let him know u have kids,and u are just being open by leting him know certain things u have going on in your life and your kids is one of them and also make it known to him the season for bringing them up is because u dont want to keep anything from him cause whats building a relationship is base on,gettting everything out in the open so you two can learn alittle about one another and get to know each other because just cause he dont want kids of is on dont mean he will rebel against yours,and once he knows u have kids and act different then u already know what to do ,you feel me sister?
2006-09-01 12:50:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
KIDS are a important issue if one feels they want children they should not get involved with another person who made it CLEAR they did not want kids. You can't change people needs and wants in the end neither will get what they want so just don't even get involved with those who don't share the same ideals as you about family.
2006-09-01 12:42:18 · answer #7 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one should settle for less than what they want. That's why so many relationships fail. If she stays with this guy, and has the baby-she's gonna be fighting with tooth & nail for EVERYTHING- child support, for him to see and spend time with the baby, and all of that unecessary drama. It's easier to nurse a broken heart now with no baby, than to nurse a broken heart and baby in tow. Her Mr. Right is out there, but she's not gonna get him with this fool in the way. TRUST ME-It's not worth it! Not to wish this on anybody, but just to give a little perspective: Remember what Rae Carruth did to his girlfriend because he didn't want another baby and pay more child support. Hope this helps. Good Luck!
2006-09-01 12:45:23 · answer #8 · answered by dct1218 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to find someone who wants to have kids like you do. You are never going to change his mind and if you ended up pregnant he would resent you for it. I have a couple that I know that is in this same situation and they are now going threw there break up, its very sad but when both are very admit about the situation there isn't much else to work on.
2006-09-01 12:40:32 · answer #9 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't force your partner to want something you do and force them to change their life for you. You would need to find someone who has the same needs and desires as you. And if you stay single. Adopt. There are too many children who do not have homes...Help one of them before you bring another child into this insane world.
2006-09-01 12:38:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋