My daughter will be 15 soon and some of her friends are 16 & older. Quite a few of them already have their own cars. This baffles me. My parents did not buy me a car. I didn't have a car until I got grown and bought my own. But that was then and this is now. I had planned on trying to get her a car for her 18th birthday but should I be trying to do that sooner? I'm a single mother and a car is a big expense plus I am not sure that I will be ready to turn her loose on the road when she gets 16. I just don't want her to be feeling underprivileged nor do I want her to have a false sense of entitlement. Give me some real advice here please. Thanks!
2006-09-01 05:15:44 · 32 answers · asked by intentionalmasterpiece 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I'm a firm believer that children should be invested in what they have. Keep your money in the bank; and let your daughter use the family car when the occasion necessitates it. If all her FRIENDS are getting cars, she should be able to find a ride just about any time she needs it.
Besides, it's not just give her a car...insurance, gas, maintenance and upkeep have to be considered. Do you want to be responsible for that, too? The increase in car insurance with a minor behind the wheel is bad enough and you'll be paying that.
I'm thinking your daughter has a roof over her head, food on the table, clothes in her closet, money in her wallet [from you?] probably a bedroom full of furniture, and even a stereo, Ipod, TV, MP3, DVD player and CDs and DVDs...she is FAR from underprivileged.
Your hard-earned money can be used for her college expenses, car maintenance, nest egg for the future, even a vacation.
2006-09-01 05:35:31 · answer #1 · answered by carolewkelly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 daughters ages 18, 16, and 14. I never bought my 2 older girls a car. The way I look at it, kids are getting too much these days without really having to work for it the way we did when we were growing up. I feel like kids should have to get a car on their own. It teaches them responsibility. They have to keep up with payments, maintenance etc. Now helping out with insurance is something you could help out with if you wanted.
My girls have told me that they appreciate what they have more because they have had to get a a job and work for it. They see some of their friends who's parents just hand them a brand new car and said those kids show less appreciation for it. They don't care if it gets wrecked cuz they know daddy is gonna get it fixed or get them another one. it makes me wonder how they are gonna react when they hit the "real" world and have to make it on their own!
Think about it this way; If someone gives you something, you are like cool, thanks! If it happens to get broken or lost well, it isn't that big of a deal; it didn't cost you anything right? But save your money for 6 months and make a purchase for the same item, and you make sure that item is taken care of.
Hope this helps!
2006-09-01 05:34:46 · answer #2 · answered by Shea 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What we have come up with for our 7 children is this: We have two 15 year olds right now. We have told them that when we think they are realy and responsible enough (it might be when they are 16 it might be later) that we will buy them an inexpensive car and they have to pay us 1/2 the amount back. They also have to keep good grades and pay for their own insurance. We have 7 children so it will be impossible for us to buy them all a car. They know that they will have to share.We will probably buy the older ones a car to share and then see how we are doing when the younger ones start to drive in 6 years. But it has been stressed over and over to them that if we don't think they are ready to drive at 16 then they won't be driving. We think that if we can help them buy a car but then have them pay us back half then it will show them that we want to help them but we also expect them to help themselves and not to expect everything to be handed to them.
2006-09-01 05:27:54 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Stacy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have the money I say yes it helped me out allot with school some parents want to teach kids responsibility and make them get a job and pay for there own car and insurance the way I look at I did better in school because I wasn't worried about the car and a job and having to pay for insurance. On the other hand my older sister had to pay for all of these things because my mom was not as well off at the time and she struggled through school.
2006-09-01 05:25:42 · answer #4 · answered by 98ta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 children and we bought each one of them a car when they were 16 years old. We didn't buy them a new car but a good used car. My children have never caused us a bit of trouble and have always been on high honor roll. This is not something that they are entitled to but something we feel that they have earned through good behavior and grades. They knew that their cars could also be taken away if certain rules were not followed. They were not allowed to go out of the city limits without first asking permission (we live in a small town). They were to be home by their curfew unless they called and were given permission to stay out later. If we heard of or found out that they were drinking alcohol, their car would be taken away for good, no questions asked. We have paid our oldest 2 childrens car insurance until they graduated college and our youngest daughter is a junior in high school and will be 17 in October. My husband and I both work or we wouldn't be able to afford to do this for our children on one income.
2006-09-03 19:02:07 · answer #5 · answered by hollywood 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We have 4 children, ages 27, 24, 21, and 9. When our oldest turned 16, we allowed her to drive one of our cars for specific reasons such as after school commitments or to pick up younger siblings to help me out. We live about 8 miles from our small town so walking or using public transportation are not available to us. When our oldest got her first job, we bought a car to be used by her. It was our car, but she bought her own gas, paid for maintanence and helped with insurance payments. Subsequently, when the next 2 turned 16, we had a car for them to drive. One car and 2-3 kids was an issue they needed to work out amongst themselves. We had to replace the "kid car" several times due to accidents or expensive repairs. We still have a kid car for our 21 year old who lives at home. Once the older 2 left home, the car stayed behind and they were responsible to buy and take care of their own car at that point. We never bought a car and gave it to them as a gift. Many kids just don't come from families who are able to afford that. Your daughter will feel underpriviledged, but 15 is plenty old enough to understand her family's dynamics and be realistic about what is possible. Perhaps there is a way for her to help earn money towards a car of her own. Be prepared that your car insurance premiums will likely double when she has her license. Most of my kids' friends did not have cars that were given to them by their parents. Most borrowed the family car or got a job and bought their own. If you do decide to get her a car, she must have responsibilites to go along with it. Talk it over with her to see what her ideas are. She may have some thoughts to share.
2006-09-01 05:49:44 · answer #6 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You would be doing her a big favor and a great service if you made her get it on her own. If she really wants it she'll work hard to get it.
A parent must prepare children for the real world and nothing is just given to you in the real world. You've done so much by teaching her life lessons up til now. You were always there for her and you did it on your own, that's tough! So here is your chance to teach her another important life lessen, don't screw it up.
This way she will learn to appreciate things and be proud of herself that she got it on her own.
I know it is difficult to just tell her she's on her own, but if she gets good grades and helps around the house maybe you could reward her by paying some of the car.
My Mom still pays for things for my brother and he's 23. Well guess what? He still complains about how difficult life is and why couldn't our parents be rich like his friends" parents - such a whiner! It's ridiculous!
Good luck! Remind yourself that comparing yourself as a parent to other parents will not make you feel any better, follow your instincts and make your daughter proud of you and herself.
2006-09-01 05:49:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on how responsible your teen is! If she is making good grades in school, doing everything she is suppose to and you think she is a responsible enough teenager then yeah. But 15 is kinda young...you at least wait until she is 16 or 17 and buy her a used starter car! Its no point in buying any expensive car especially if she just starting out! BUT her car should definitely come with limits like you should determine when and where she is going especially at 16! You know your child best!
Good Luck
2006-09-01 06:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all...it's always going to depend on the child's maturity & behavior to determine whether or not he/she even gets the car in the first place. And, of course, you want to make sure that you're financially stable enough to even afford another car in the first place. If you ARE unable to afford one, your daughter at least try to be understanding to the fact that you are a single mother trying to provide her with the basic needs of living first and foremost and, if there is wiggle room, there MIGHT be a POSSIBLITY of another car in the future.
Don't feel pressured into buying her a car just because "her friends have one". You don't want to commit to something like that for the wrong reasons. It doesn't make you a bad mother if you don't end up getting her a car. Think of it this way, lots of parents WANT to give their kids things that they aren't able to afford - so you're not alone.
2006-09-01 05:37:39 · answer #9 · answered by guerajs 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not buy my child a car. I think kids should get jobs if they would like to own something that expensive. I would definatly help out...maybe by pitching in twenty-five percent and paying half insurance. I think it's an important for kids to understand the value of the things they own. For some reason I think kids don't treat the things parents buy for them nearly as good as the thing they've worked hard for.
2006-09-01 05:28:44 · answer #10 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋