How should I approach her?

Question

I have been friends with this girl for about two years. We aren't close friends, we have hung out, but it is REALLY rare. We have always met up at the college and talked and hung around until we had to go home.
We share some same views and she really feels comfortable with me. She's talked to me about most of her problems and situations. She has told me before on seperate occasions that I am one of her closest guy friends.
Through out our friendship, I have had feelings closer than friendship towards her. But I have shrugged them off because I don't want to ruin our closeness.
Latetly, I have felt more passionate towards her, and feel like I really want to be with her. But I am a bit afraid of how she might take it. I don't want her to feel awkward around me if she doesn't feel the same for me.....

So what I ask is: How should I tell her? If I should at all......

And please, Do not say "just go for it", because if it were that simple, I wouldn't be asking.....

Answer 1

well nothing is simple so i would say if your shy and stuff talk to her friend or roommate if she has one to give you some points with her or like gradually get to the subject of you guys liking someone and then talk about how you kinda like her or if you cant do that ask her to go with you to get lunch or something very casual. then if she wants to do it again your in.

Answer 2

Well if the relationship is kind of casual like it seems to be (when you see each other you talk but its not like you make plans all the time to hang out) then I would see if she want to go out some night just the two of you but like to a bar or club, maybe dinner and movie or whatever you both like to do. Make sure the environment is one that promotes the two of you talking one on one w/o distractions. By the end of the night you should have a better feeling as to where it may go and you can either go out again or not. Tell her you had a good time and that you'd love to go out again and maybe get to know each other a little better. I wouldn't go over the top, just be simple and casual so you dont scare her. Don't be discouraged if she doesn't got out with you that night give her time to think about it and figure out her feelings too. I'd try to take it slow and allow her to gain some feelings for you also if she doesn't have any already or isn't sure about them... Well hope this helps I know its long.

Answer 3

That is a tough one. It sounds like you really treasure her friendship. And sometimes that is what one needs. I would just remain friends for now and see if anything escalates into something farther. She might have the same feelings as you do and is afraid of the same thing. But then she might not to. I would just feel it out and maybe at the right moment drop a hint just out of curiosity or maybe mention a scenario to her about two other people and see what her reaction is. That could be the answer you are looking for

Answer 4

Well if you dont try you will never find out and that is something you probably dont want to do. So why dont you first try asking her to go out, besides for at school. Like to dinner or for a drink. But dont say wanna go out on a date. Say wanna go hang out sometime, or wanna grab a bite to eat. See what she says. If she says no, then she is probably not interested. If she says yes, then you are going to have to talk about it at some point. Maybe ask her something like, do you beleive that friends could ever become more? By that again your not telling her straight out, but if she says no, you know she is not interested. She will probably know that you have interest in her by these questions.

Answer 5

if she shares everything with you, more than likely you are just a good and trustworthy friend.
you should know if she likes you in a different way. do you occasionally make eye contact without saying anything? etc, etc.
keep your friendship. who knows? a situation may come up that will change everything. it is hard and frustrating to wait, but you could try the other alternative and find someone else.
tough choice, good luck.

Answer 6

If she confides in you, then you are one of her closest friends. If you rush it, it will scare her off, and she will begin to put walls up with you. Try talking to her about it first. Ask her out as friends first...and see where it goes. "wanna catch a movie later?" And pay for her. Even after womens lib, we still like that.

Answer 7

I would say if she hasnt flirted with you AT ALL, in ANY way, that shes probly not interested in you, that way. She most likely enjoys your friendship more. If she liked you in that way, she would have already let you know. Especially if its been 2 yrs.

Answer 8

based on your story, it seems to me that she's comfortable with you and she trusts you like she would with her girl friends. she see's a good friend in you, man, your situation sucks. you're fighting a lost cause, brother, you might lose someone you like as well as a good friend. whatever you decide to do, you have my support, good luck!