Partying after having a baby?

Question

I am having a baby soon and have decided that once I have the baby (probably a month or so later) I am planning on having regular girl's nights out like once a month. My husband is totally fine with it and he encourages it but sometimes I think is this my way of not accepting my current situation - I'm a parent now and should not be going out drinking. Now I am not planning on going clubbing, just maybe a restaurant/lounge with my girlfriends (all are married or in a serious relationship). But I feel like I really missed out on those things, we were pregnant with our son on our wedding day and now I am having another and just need a release! I feel that when I didn't have children if I was out and met a woman that was out having a good old time and 2 kids at home with hubby I would think badly of her. Does anyone feel this way?

Answer 1

You need the time, even if it is once a month, to yourself. I do this twice a month--Once with the girls and once w/ my mom and sisters.
I don't bar hop or go to the clubs or get so totally trashed that I can't see straight.
Sometimes it is just dinner, we might go to the mall, go see a show.
You are not a bad parent and it doesn't sound like you are not accepting of your situation.
You are an adult and you have every right to want and deserve one night a month to yourself.
Applause to your husband for understanding this and letting you do this.
We, as parents, need time to be ourselves, not just be the mom and/or "honey" all the time. Just because we have children we should not feel the need to give everything up for them.
Now, if it was 5 nights a week, every week and your children were suffering, then there would be a problem.
Go, relax and enjoy.
You deserve it and it will help keep you sane and refreshed.
!!!!!!

Um, mrklcoac2002, did you read the question? do you have kids? What the heck is your deal. Where did you get that she isn't responsible? Get a life and don't be an a**.

Answer 2

You're right. You are a married woman and will soon have a child. For a few months, that child will consume your time in ways you never even thought of. It may well be the most wonderfully tiring time you've ever had in your life.

Include your husband in the everyday care of the baby as much as you can. Help him not to standby and watch his child being taken care of; find ways he can help even when you think you can do it better by yourself. It won't take both of you long to feel comfortable.

After you've given that some time, you will feel confident leaving your son with his daddy while you go out. And you should go out occasionally; once a month might be just fine to leave baby and go out for time with friends.

One thing to remember when you do go out with the girls...your husband and son are waiting for you at home. They want you home well and safe, just as you will want your husband to come home well and safe after a night out with the guys.

Good luck with the delivery...and I hope you have planned to be able to be a stay-at-home mom for the first few years - you'll be glad you did.

Answer 3

go on out and have some fun. Everyone needs to relax and enjoy life and if clubbing is what you want to do, go for it.
Your not a bad mom just cause you need fun.
I have four kids and a regular girls night out, I have never run into someone looking badly at me because I have a thoughtful enough husband to stay home and entertain the kids while I cut loose a little.

Answer 4

What you are looking to do is maintain your individuality. YES - it is true - you are now a MOM - but that doesn't mean you should never take time for yourself, and I would venture to say that once a month is definitely within reason. So long as you aren't going out, partying, staying out all night or being dishonest. It is healthy & normal for both you and your husband to have an evening with friends. Just as important as taking a night at least once a month - getting a babysitter - and going out TOGETHER on a date .... movies, dinner, anything you enjoy together. Maintain all aspects of a healthy life - God, Family, Partnership, and Self.

Answer 5

I have no friends. All my friends are in my hometown. I have no family. See above. We are totally alone in a city of 100 000+. My husband works, on average, 80-100 hours a week. I am not allowed to work (a woman's place is at home). I am only allowed to take certain types/amounts of schooling that will allow me to feel like I am doing something - but not really help me get a career.

When we lived in our hometown, I was only allowed out at certain times. He was allowed out whenever and for however long he pleased.

I have made some slow progress in changing all of this. I will not stay at home for the rest of my life. You have a right to have a life outside of your husband and children.

Answer 6

I love my children and always take time for myself. But I never cross the line in which my children suffer because I need to have fun. Life happens! Your marriage and your children come first. Going out for cocktails once in awhile is no Cardinal sin, but remember your role as mother takes priority over anything else. There are others way to enjoy being an adult and one of them is spending time with your husband by getting a babysitter.

Answer 7

Definitely go out and have some fun. Having babies is stressful lol and having some adult time.. away from your house does a woman good. Just make sure you let your husband have a night out sometimes to. I go out to a restaruant and eat and have a couple drinks, or we go to a coffee bar and drink coffee and eat dessert once a month, its me and 5 other moms. Its amazing how much calmer I am now, its great to have a girl nights out to look forward to. I hope you have fun.;

Answer 8

i think a night out once in a while is nice. so long as your not breast feeding. But it does send a message to the child if its a common thing.

I was a nanny for years, i nannied for women who had their own lives and desires that came before their kids, so i know how it effected them. Children want and need their moms 24/7, but for the sake of our sanity we have to get out every now and again.

a bitter resentful mom who doesnt want her children weighing her down is different from a woman who just needs a breather every couple months. Its the attitude you have about your children in relation to your own life that causes a problem.

If your guilty feeling about it then you should check yourself and find out if the situation really is jsut your own selfishness in wishing you didnt have children at this point in your life. That sort of thinking can come back to haunt you, and hurts your children deeper than you think. If thats your situation, dont feel bad, but maybe consider getting help. Realize that you decide what is good enough for you, what kind of person you are, and what you find fulfilling. You can decide your children and family provide that.

But thats a totally different senereo from mom just getting out for a few hours to be refreshed before tackling momhood again.

Answer 9

I think it is fine to still go out and have fun from time to time when you are a mother. It will keep you relieve some stress from being with the kids all of the time. Just because you go out and have fun sometimes doesnt make you a bad mom, just as long as you are always there for your kids when they need you.

Answer 10

No, as a single mom, I know that I need time off for that kinda stuff. Doing that is a very good idea, it'll keep you sane. Don't let anyone tell you it's a bad idea because if they do, they obviously are trying too hard to be the picture-perfect parent or they don't have kids at all (like you before). All mothers know that you need time away with your girls to kick back and relax.