I am getting married in 5 weeks. We are having a big wedding with about 250 guests, but have decided to do things differently than everyone else and have no attendants. We have great friends, his family loves me to death, my family is crazy about him...everyone is psyched about this wedding. My mom is a little upset though because I have not had a bridal shower thrown. I told her that usually attendants do that and since I am not having any attendants, then there is no-one to throw one. She is still sad about it. what do you all think???
2006-09-01 04:31:37 · 21 answers · asked by larann78 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's sad, but you can't throw it, and neither can your mom. (It will look like you are just wanting gifts.)
The best you could do is have her ask someone close to the family, an aunt, friend, etc. If they will throw it.... but that may not even fly well.
2006-09-01 05:21:05 · answer #1 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sweetie, I imagine your Mom and I are about the same age....she's just wanting you to have the "whole package". That includes showers, parties, and teas. My daughter got married in May, and it's like reliving your own wedding in a sense. My daughter had 3 showers, 1st shower was hosted by the ladies at the church, 2nd was her friends gave her a personal shower, 3rd was the one I gave her.....I have some friends that would be uncomfortable at a church shower much less in church..lol...so, I had a come as you are shower. We just had a blast, no fancy coffees, teacakes, and little sandwichs without the crust. We had strawberry dacquris and white russians, and chocolates.strawberries, and cheese cake!
It looks like everyone is confussed who should do what since you aren't having any bridesmaid. But someone should. An Aunt or friends that would be the bridesmaids if you went that way. She just wants you to have all the fun in being a Bride. Does she have any sisters or sister-in-laws that she could put a bug in their ear and explain to that no one has given you one yet. If she doesn't and I know with all the wedding plans and last minute details she could host it herself. In the south, were I am from, a lot of the time....they have family showers...the groom's family hosts one for their side, and then the bride's family has one.
I really hope someone realizes that they don't have to be a part of the wedding to give you one. I have thrown showers for brides when I was close to the bride. I gave a young couple one, because the church ladies were upset with the bride being pregnant, so I made it co-ed and just really gave them a big party.
Mom's feelings are hurt, and she's confussed too. So, I am glad you are concerned enough to ask about it. That's awfully sweet of you, us Mom's just want the very best for our little girls!
I can understand really how she is feeling, because I got upset when I learned my daughter wasn't being given a bachlorette party. But the girls pulled one together, and so she got to have her last big fling.....So, thank you for being so caring, and tell Mom I am upset too! You need a shower, where do you live, I will come host one for you! I will be glad too......wishing you and Mom a beautiful happiest of weddings.........
God bless us all............
2006-09-03 09:34:41 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very poor etiquette for the mother of the bride and/or groom to throw a shower. It looks like you're just looking to get more presents. At this late date it's probably not a good idea to have a shower at all (as invitations would have needed to be sent out 6 weeks before the event, and you're already 5 weeks away from the wedding!). I would suggest that if your mother feels like there needs to be another celebration before the big day, that she throw a family luncheon, or perhaps arrange a "girls' night" for you and your friends for some cocktails or dessert. But don't call it a shower, and don't include your registry information. If people choose to bring gifts, that's on them. It should just be a fun, relaxed time for you to spend with the ladies in your life.
Best of Luck!
2006-09-01 07:57:51 · answer #3 · answered by Shower Gal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course mother's of the bride can throw you a shower.
This is 2006 and no one would even raise an eyebrow to the idea.
My mother-in-law to be gave me a shower. We had a blast.
If your mom has a best friend, maybe they can co-host together and your mom wont feel so awkward about doing this by herself.
You can surely bet if you don't get the shower your mom wants you to have, you will end up with just as many gifts brought to your wedding.
My sister-in-law had a wedding gift opening party after their honeymoon with her parents and her husbands parents. It was very intiment and her mom and mother-in-law helped log who gave what gift so she could send out thank you cards.
2006-09-05 04:00:01 · answer #4 · answered by together420yrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need a shower. She has no reason to be sad.
In fact, showers are really becoming outdated since so many people live on their own before getting married. Showers are for people who are starting a household with nothing and need others' help in setting up housekeeping. These days most couples not only already have everything they need sometimes they have two of everything!
Family members and future family members should not host showers, it's bad manners.
2006-09-01 13:07:05 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong about having your mom throw it for you. Maybe she has a close friend that will help her out with it? My sisters and my mom did it for me. It was nice, you need to have a shower! You only get to have wedding showers once in your life!
2006-09-01 07:03:51 · answer #6 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you belong to a church, maybe suggest it to one of the women that head up some of them. that is what i kinda did.
and then i had my mom's close friends she is kinda like acousin to me throw my family shower for me. :D
i had only one attendant and she came to the family one too. but with both ofthose showers turned out great. :D
good luck with the showers and the wedding. congrats also!! :)
2006-09-01 04:56:59 · answer #7 · answered by laurieprentice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your Mom would like to throw you one. Or, if you don't want a traditional shower, you can do like I did and have a Pampered Chef shower, where you make a wish list and those that attend can purchase kitchen stuff for you and themselves and you get the hostess benefits. That was a lot fun. Best of Luck!
2006-09-01 04:43:55 · answer #8 · answered by keri0426 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It is perfectly acceptable for the mother of the bride to throw a wedding shower for her daughter.. Tell your mother you would love for her and your mother-in-law to be to throw a small intimate shower with a few close friends and relatives...
2006-09-01 06:43:13 · answer #9 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you don't what a traditional bridal shower then have a pampered chief bridal shower.that way you can get some of you're cook wear.and you even get free things.and person who demonstrates the stuff will make you a recipe for you right out of the book. and you get to eat as you buy what you want. good luck
2006-09-01 05:04:01 · answer #10 · answered by Angel sent from heaven 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋