An expedition to Mars came to end. As the Russian crew scrambled aboard, one of the crew members turned out to be missing. After a while the missing man appeared running from behind a tree, followed by a young and pretty Martian woman.
"Why are you late?" the commander demanded.
"You see, I made acquaintance with this lady, and she told me how they make children here on Mars. It turned out they just push a button on a computer, and if they do it once, they get a boy, and if twice, then it's a girl. Then she asked me how we do it on the Earth. I showed her, and now she is running after me and shouting, "Please, sell me your computer."
2006-09-01
04:19:05
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22 answers
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asked by
Pd
6
in
Entertainment & Music
➔ Jokes & Riddles
I dont get it!
2006-09-01 04:24:50
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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1. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
2. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
3. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
4. I’d like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?
5. At least there’s one thing good about your body. It isn’t as ugly as your face!
6. Brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case they’re nothing
7. Careful now, don’t let your brains go to your head!
8. I like you. People say I’ve no taste, but I like you.
9. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
10. If I had a face like yours. I’d sue my parents!
11. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
12. Don’t get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?
13. Keep talking, s omeday you’ll say something intelligent!
14. Don’t you love nature, despite what it did to you?
15. Don’t think, it may sprain your brain!
16. Fellows like you don’t grow from trees; they swing from them.
17. He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.
18. He has a mind like a steel trap-always closed!
19. You are a man of the world-and you know what sad shape the world is in.
20. He is always lost in thought-it’s unfamiliar territory.
21. He is dark and handsome. When it’s dark, he’s handsome.
22. He is known as a miracle comic. if he’s funny, it’s a miracle!
23. He is listed in Who’s Who as What’s That?
24. He is living proof that man can live without a brain!
25. He is so short, when it rains he is always the last one to know.
26. He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an id iot.
27. How come you’re here? I thought the zoo is closed at night!
28. How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
29. How much refund do you expect on your head now that it’s empty.
30. How would you like to feel the way you look?
31. Hi! I’m a human being! What are you?
32. I can’t talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in the next 10 years?
33. I don’t want you to turn the other cheek; it’s just as ugly.
34. I don’t know who you are, but whatever you are, I’m sure everyone will agree with me.
35. I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.
36. I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?
37. I can’t seem to remember your name, and please don’t help me!
38. I don’t even like the people you’re trying to imitate, if you are at all.
39. I know you were born silly, b ut why did you have a relapse?
40. I know you’re a self-made man. It’s nice of you to take the blame!
41. I know you’re not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!
42. I’ve seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!
43. Why are you so stupid today? Anyway, I think that’s very typical of you.
44. Do u practice being this ugly?
2006-09-07 23:57:04
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answer #2
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answered by ravi_khanna234 2
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Good joke, is she still chasing? An alien landed on earth and a young man was asked to show him around.
My nephew did this to me, when you tell this joke to someone tell them you must walk around.
The alien had many questions about the things he was seeing and all the while walking with this young man he asked questions as to how earth dealt with people who wanted to procreate, so the young man explained matramony, the alien nodded said we have a pill for that.
The alien had many questions but at the end he asked if earth had mentally challenged individuals and the young man answered yes of course and some are institutionalized, some recieve therapy, some medications and so on. Curious the young man asked the alien, how do you solve this problem on your planet, the alien answered oh we walk ours.
2006-09-01 11:41:41
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answer #3
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answered by Neptune2bsure 6
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Ok.
Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/
Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..
2006-09-02 10:25:13
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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Pretty funny
2006-09-09 06:59:12
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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LOL⥠I liked this oneâ¥
2006-09-07 12:08:27
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answer #6
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answered by ♥USMCwife♥ 5
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You've got some 'splainin to do.
2006-09-01 11:45:26
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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haha
2006-09-07 22:23:32
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answer #8
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answered by chris m 5
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haha
2006-09-05 18:38:00
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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I get it and that one is funny!
2006-09-07 21:05:00
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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Hehhe...
2006-09-01 11:30:13
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answer #11
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answered by iamigloo 6
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