I just got married and my husband has a 8 year old son. Last year I was diagnosed with endometriosis and had an ovary removed. Now that we are married we are trying to conceive regardless of what the doctor said. I want to have a child of my own so bad. I get upset often because my husband has his son and I feel like an outsider a lot because they be in their own little world and leave me by myself. And, it's hard to spend the whole day with my step son and then see how his face lights up and how happy he gets when his dad walks in the door. I want to have that. So, until I conceive a child of my own, how do I deal with this situation?
2006-09-01 03:55:01 · 10 answers · asked by Coco 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have a child and am not with her birth mother however my current wife has a great relationship with my child. First of all you must understand that you will never be able to replace the child's birth mother. Second you must realize that your stepson looks up to his father as a role model and in his eyes you are just a girl and cant do things or relate to a guys needs. If you had a stepchild that was a girl it would be easier for you two to become closer. Just try to make an effort to be interested in the things the boy likes. Ask your husband to step out of the way when the time comes to do an activity with the child so that you and the child can have time to bond. Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel! Take the boy to a baseball game and leave dad at home. Take the boy to the park or buy him a toy by yourselves. In time the child will love you and want to spend time with you. Remember you are a "yucky girl" and it wont happen overnight.
2006-09-01 04:11:09 · answer #1 · answered by PHILLYGUY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love that little boy up! The more you get involved in his life, the more you'll get back, believe me. I got married when my son was 5 and it was a rocky relationship between my husband and son. My son resisted and my husband treated him like he was his own & now they're the best of buddies. I too could not concieve right away and I finally had my baby girl last year and my husband makes no difference what so ever between the 2 kids. What you're feeling is normal. It takes alot of hard work and love. I wish you the best & hope you and your husband have the baby you dream of.
2006-09-01 04:10:00 · answer #2 · answered by Tortured Soul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a stepmother. Do things with him, take interest in things he is interested in set aside time fort he two of you to do something special every day before his dad gets home. Love him and let him know he is loved. People did not know that my stepson was not my biological son. I took part in school activities, and was a scout leader. I got him when he was 5 by the time he was 8 he had a new brother and sister. I divorced his dad when my step son was 21. He is 43 now. He moved away from where his dad lives to within 5 miles of me so I could be grandmother. He is my son just because I did not give birth to him does not mean he isn't my son. Don't be jealous of his relationship with his dad.
2006-09-01 04:10:51 · answer #3 · answered by BUPPY'S MEME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of that closeness is just father and son.... has nothing to do with being a biological parent or a step-parent. All you can do is be the best parent you can. Speak to your husband, let him know how you feel and ask him to include you in some of the activities he shares with his son. Understand that you can't be a a part of everything, they need some time for "male bonding".
Good luck!
2006-09-01 04:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by Adios 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl I am soooooooooooooooo in the same spot as you!! The only difference is he is 5! But it is hard and it hurts. I read some books and I just try to vent to friends about it. I went out and got a dog about 5 months ago and it helps out believe it or not (if it bonds to you) I would also talk to your hubby and let him to know how it feels and to try to suggest something.. I took the little guy out to lunch awhile back just him and I.. I went and picked him up at school.. he was so excited and it felt so good! Just try to do little things out of the blue! You may be trying too hard..I have been told I do! Try not to take it too personal either.. Like I said I know this is all easy to say but sometime SO hard to do!
Hang in there.. It will have its ups and downs! Try to be his buddy!!! When he does hurt your feelings take him aside and tell him that he needs to respect you .. Good luck to you!!
2006-09-01 05:02:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy the time you have with your current family. (your husband and step-son) If you feel like you're being left out, create your own bond w/ your step son as well as asking to be more involved with your husband and him. Pray for strengh and try, I know it's difficult, but just try to not worry so much about having your own child. If it's meant to happen it will happen. Miracles are possible but stressing yourself out is not going to help
2006-09-01 04:06:21 · answer #6 · answered by rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went thru this too when me and my hubby first married he has a daughter but so do i so its a little different.We are now 9 months pregnant with our own.Its likely you will feel this way until you have a child of your own with him.The main thing i had a problem with was his daughter wanted every bit of his attention and so did i.There is no fix to this situation you just learn to live with it pretty much.I really don't get along well with his daughter but i don't mistreat her or anything i just try to deal with it when she is here.Just try not to let your feelings of having your own child with him over shadow everything else.
2006-09-01 04:34:27 · answer #7 · answered by samwise25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm divorced. I even have 2 babies. Their dad has been married 2 greater circumstances on account that me. they did not have it sturdy with their first step-mom. She in no way made time for them and it looked did not like the belief of them being around. This 2d step-mom has tried to do issues with my daughter although this is been edgy for them the two. She has not tried in accordance to my son to do lots or be there lots for him. it is not as though the youngsters try to be difficult on the step-mom it is they sense they have not gotten some distance in any form of relationship together with her. I even have as a parent tried to talk together with her yet she refused to pay attention me out in any respect. My ex has to ask her approximately each and every little element this is a call between us concerning to our babies while it is probably not her company. i be responsive to she would be in a position to have some thing to assert besides, yet she only desires to attend and see what he and that i come to a decision for the youngsters and cope with issues this way. If there have been the thank you to maintain alongside with their dad i might have yet you could not tension somebody to stay in a marriage they don't desire.
2016-10-01 04:22:57 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'r are jelous of you'r husband and his son relation! If you don't change your ways, you are going to lose your husband! Would you like to lose him? If not, Join both of them and became a family!!!
2006-09-01 04:22:48 · answer #9 · answered by alfonso 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It must be hard for you. Learn to love this little boy, he is a part of the man you love, right? Be a part of his life. Good luck.
2006-09-01 04:03:13 · answer #10 · answered by melinda_rn2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋