My dad is getting married this december and he is so excited... But it seems thou that me and my sister is having trouble to spend more time with our soon to be stepmom because she is always with our dad all the time and we barely see them only like midnight or near midnight. My real mom is having doubts about my soon to be step mom because she thinks after they have a new baby my dad wint pay any attention to me and my sisters. The worst part is my dad is telling me bad things about my mom and my mom is doing the same.... Its just that they want me and my sis to take a side but i dont know who to trust... what should i do?
2006-09-01 03:39:32 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is terrible for you at your age . I had this too. It is hard for your mom as he is moving on and she may not like this which is natural. If this happens when the baby is born, this is not your fault and dont let it damage you. My mom left me at 16 to live with her new man and I had to live on my own, but his situation will resolve in time I think. Just concentrate on school and having fun as you are only young. You will have a new brother or sis soon so that will be good!
2006-09-01 03:44:18 · answer #1 · answered by Abigail 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If neither is hurting you in any way, enjoy the happiness that your dad is feeling, Does your soon to be step-mom treat you well? If she's down talking your mom also, then I think I'd watch out for her... step-moms (or step-dads) sometimes try to buy your love. If she over spoils you, I'd watch out for that too. Both your parents are going through a different chapter in their lives and so are you. Try to make the best of a situation that you can't change, but keep an open eye/ear for what doesn't feel or seem right. If your dad really truly loves you and your sister, nothing will change between you and your dad if they have a child together.
2006-09-01 10:53:22 · answer #2 · answered by L B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First your parents shouldn't be bashing each other just for you and your sister to take sides it makes me mad when parents try to use the children against each other it's not right. When they start saying mean things about their ex just tell them you love mom and you love dad but for what ever reason they are mad at each other you and your sister want left out of it. Ask your dad and your soon to be stepmom if you and your sister could do something together with them so you and sis can get to know her better. As to who to trust, the only person you can truly trust is yourself. If you pick sides someone will be hurt. Tell mom and dad you and sis are not going to pick sides because you love them both unconditionally.
2006-09-01 10:49:52 · answer #3 · answered by melbow35 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this happens a lot when parents separate or divorce they bad mouth each other, but the truth is they only hurt themselves. When they start slamming each other let them know that you love them both and don't want to here the negative things they have to say about each other.
Sure he'll pay attention to you although a baby is a high demand job. Your mom is just planting seeds in your head, she seems to want to start trouble,by forming an opinion about your dad, in your head. Just ignore the negative. Don't take either side only take your side. They really are acting immature and sometimes this happens where hurt turns to anger.
2006-09-01 10:45:37 · answer #4 · answered by e_deckwa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you need to have a talk with you dad and then one with your real mom. Tell them that you love them both and this is not going to change. That you know that they are not getting along right now but you feel like you are trapped in the middle. Tell your dad about the fears that you have regarding his new marriage. Sometimes adults get so wrapped up in their own life that they forget how some of the things they are doing will look to there children. It sounds like they both love you but are just not thinking clearly right now. Sometimes emotions do that to parents.
2006-09-01 10:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by Suesan W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your parents should NOT be speaking bad about each other. This is not a good parenting sign. I would suggest that you and your sister talk to both of your parents with your concern. TELL them that it makes you feel uncomfortable to have them speak bad about the other because you love them both. This should be an eye opener. As for your father and his new wife...it is the beginning of a relationship and it is fun and new. Get to know your new step mom and try to like her. Ask her to take you out to lunch or something. Spend time with just her. She is just as worried about getting to know YOU and having you like HER as you are.
2006-09-01 10:44:33 · answer #6 · answered by sewshawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont' u sit down w/ur mom and dad if possible and let them know that u don't appreciate how they bad talk each other to u and sis.. let them know that u love both no matter what but bad talking each other to u and sis is only making matters worse.. whatever beef they have they need to take that up w/each other instead of involving the children...
and as far as ur father is concerned re: him having another child, speak to him about that and let him know ur concerned about being ignored once the new baby arrives.. let him know that u just need the reassurance that he'll always be there for u and ur sis no matter what....
2006-09-01 10:43:41 · answer #7 · answered by Queen D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do parents who divorce always put the children in the middle and make them take sides?? Don't they know that it does to their children? Sit down and talk to both parents and tell them how you feel. No matter what happens follow your heart and do what you think is right. Try not to take a side. Sometimes adults can be very childish. Find someone outside the situation whom you can talk to and confide in.
2006-09-01 10:48:17 · answer #8 · answered by blueyes2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur parents first mistake is filling you and ur sisters head up with bad images of eachother an putting you in the middle by forcing you to choose u need to tell them both how you feel maybe that will be a wake up call ....the only thing u can trust is how they treat you-not how they treat eachother...ur dad will prolly pay more attention to the baby because IT IS a baby -and everyone knows babies need attention...talk to ur dad about setting days aside so you can do somethings together..and embrace your new sibling!
2006-09-01 10:44:22 · answer #9 · answered by jess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi; how old you both are ?
Can you persuade dad to have a communication with you, both, and after praising him for his choice (believing it right or not) tell him your thoughts and hints about it ?
Don't tell him to shut-up disgracing your mom, at first. Ask him if his new wife is meant to be your new (step)mother or not. So you'll know the pitch. Then proceed carefully, never wrong-giving him, until he calms down! Trust the one with the good temper!
Ciao.....John-John.
2006-09-01 10:49:43 · answer #10 · answered by John-John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋