I will be turning 18 on Monday, and even though I've dated 2 guys this summer, neither one developed into anything. One, broke up with me because he wanted to be free with college around the corner. The other, I broke up with because of lack of common interests. (Which turned out to be a good decision on my part, because he's a fricken liar). I want to be in a relationship because otherwise I just go looking for physical attention, almost anywhere I can get it. I don't know why I need a guy to feel secure, especially after I spent 4 years of my life single. The guys that I like either don't like me that way, or aren't ready for a serious relationship. Why are all the decent guys who are worth dating, never interested? I'm not ugly, I'm not fat and I still don't understand it. I guess some guys get intimidated by the fact that I'm smart. But if they knew anything about me at all, they'd know that pretty much lasts only as far as the books go. I wanna know why ME isn't good enuf!
2006-09-01 03:38:24 · 17 answers · asked by shortchic070307 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I only have what you are telling us - to go on with.. so here's my best guess. I think you're trying too hard. I think men have that basic instinct which allows them to sense that you're 'out for a serious relationship'. And in a perverse way, the harder you try - despite however sincere you are - the more they want to run away.
You say they don't know you, but are you really letting them get to know the real you or the I-want-a-boyfriend-NOW-you? You maybe just giving out the 'i want a serious relationship' vibe? (one litmus test would be that your conversation revolves around subtlely or not subtlely assessing his suitability as a boyfriend...) You can't force things.
I know it maybe judgemental to say this, but from how you write about your experiences, I feel you may be have an esteem issue. You are right, in that you don't need a guy to feel secure, but you have a strong focus on 'whats wrong with me, i'm this, i'm that' and it gives the impression that you think you're the one who's the problem here,rather than the men in your life. You are not the problem. You've just had bad luck with men.
But still you need to seperate your bad experiences with your belief in yourself (esteem). Why not try to work on liking, loving and being happy by yourself, then having a boyfriend would just add to your life, not be the sole purpose for happiness in your life.
Lastly, you need to relax and be yourself. Start by getting to know men as friends, without a hint of any serious relationship. At your age, you should just have fun with nice like-minded people. Let them get to know you in a casual setting, let them see how much fun you are, and how much they enjoy being with you. Who knows? after some time, they might think they want to be around you all the time :)
2006-09-01 03:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by JoseK 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Agent 47 can't even write a complete sentence so just ignore him.
You are 18, that's young … very young. Seeking physical attention is human nature, now, if you are jumping on anything with a pulse, that is different.
The way I see it, I have ten years on you [at least that is all that I will admit to] so if ANYONE is going to get a good guy here … it's gonna be me. Seriously, enjoy your youth and don't take things too seriously. Don’t settle for someone that "sort of makes you happy" because love isn't something that you should do half assed. Go out, play the field, meet someone that has common interests as you … have fun while you can.
Be safe and good luck!
2006-09-01 03:44:37 · answer #2 · answered by freak369xxx 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't lower your standards because you haven't found the right guy. You're going to be 18 - not 50 sweetie...you have time. I'll tell you this, if you just jump on anything because you feel you need a guy to feel secure, you're in trouble. Learn to love YOU. Learn to live and have fun with YOU...If you get involved with a liar, a cheat or someone that disrespects you, your next question will be, "why is my boyfriend doing this to me?"...Take time to be with yourself and love yourself. When the right guy comes along, you'll know it and be ready for it. Too many teenagers want to be "involved" with someone. Why...??? Go have fun. Love will find you and trust me, you'll be better off for it. Don't settle for the first good looking guy that tells you he loves you. Another mistake young people make is, you don't take time to be friends first. That's why there are so many problems. Go have fun and stop being dependent and be INDEPENDENT. : )
If a man knows you're dependent on him, watch out. Your world will be turned upside down. Take if from an older gentlemen. I have a 14 year old daughter and I will be watching these young men. I have taught her to be independet for herself. Keep your peace and avoid the drama...Good luck... : )
2006-09-01 03:53:23 · answer #3 · answered by dolphinman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your time, you're only 18(Happy Birthday!) If you are going off to college then you'll likely meet dozens of eligible guys. If not you'll find someone in time. The important thing is to never rush things, guys are always looking for the cheap harlot(I know, I'm a guy) and the quick lay. Get to know someone prior to giving up your most prized possesion. I remember a gf a couple of years ago when we met she was wearing a tshirt that said "I have the p.ussy so I make the rules!" What attracted me was the confidence she had wearing a shirt like that.
Have fun and take your time the world is big and there are many fruits to sample!
Enjoy!
2006-09-01 03:48:41 · answer #4 · answered by Redeft 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She ability you're shy/secretive or kinda creepy...that's specifically cases worse than a jerk because of the fact with a jerk you a minimum of comprehend what you're shifting into and that they are in a position to be exciting specifically cases and eye-catching for particular. i do no longer think of she needs a bad guy yet might manage a bad boy until she meets her appropriate guy
2016-09-30 05:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by hobin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're 18 and you have the huge experience of dating 2 guys? Didn't you ever hear that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet the handsome prince? Some women never meet him. It's strictly trial and error. Start by looking in the right places. Ask friends and relatives to look for nice guys. Join a church that has an active singles program. Join some service clubs and volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, etc. Get into sports and ski clubs, Join an investment group. Go where the good guys are. And stop whining.
2006-09-01 03:46:22 · answer #6 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You're still young, be patient and focuss on your future and Mr. right will come along. You may a have a few Mr. Right-Nows, but he will come. I dated a lot of losers as I think many women do before I met my current husband of 13 years. Never settle, becasue you're looking too hard or giving up on looking. Your taste in men will change to after you turn 22. You'll be more mature and most guys you would've dated in your teens, will not be appealing to you anymore. Good luck to you.
2006-09-01 03:44:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't over-think it and don't fixate on your lack of a boyfriend to the extent that it makes you act irrationally. The simple answer is for you to keep putting yourself out there, being involved in things that guys might also like. Try to be friendly and emotionally accessible to prospective boyfriends. Make them feel comfortable around you. Don't make it hard for them to approach you and don't make them feel like crap for trying, just because you don't find them to be acceptable candidates. Men and women, particularly at your age, tend to be bags of insecurities with drivers licenses. Understanding that, realize that the more opportunities you create for single guys to meet you the greater the likelihood that one will ask you out. From there it is up to you to see if a relationship will develop.
2006-09-01 03:49:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because at 18 years old, there aren't any decent guys. Wait until you are 25-30 years old...then you may find a few who have matured. A few...maybe if you're lucky.
2006-09-01 03:45:31 · answer #9 · answered by careerslacker 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i really dont know i went out with a girl 2 years ago and she broke up with me the 2nd day i dont know why i was exicited because everyone said she was hot and then she dumped me so i have been single for 2 years now and it sucks but good luck and it is not your fault
2006-09-01 03:42:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋