My friend, Mike, insulted my friend, Dan, over a year ago. Mike was only kidding around and Dan took it was too seriously. I was there and heard the whole thing. Dan blew up at Mike's comment. Mike apologized immediately. Dan was still fuming a half hour later and stormed off. They haven't talked since. Mike has made several attempts to make contact with Dan, but Dan completely ignores him. Mike has even asked mutual friends, including me, to talk to him to find out what's going on and why Dan won't let this go. Dan refuses to talk about it and doesn't even want to hear Mike's name mentioned. Mike and Dan have been good friends for a long time and it's silly that something so petty has come between them. What really bugs me is that Dan is a devote Catholic, goes to church every Sunday, follows the bible closely, and prays all the time. I thought that Catholics are not suppose to hold grudges and are suppose to forgive. No, Mike's insult was not about Dan's religion.
2006-09-01 03:34:18 · 33 answers · asked by ☆skyblue 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Well maybe he just goes to church and confesses to the Priest that he's holding a grudge, gets told to run some beads through his hands while hailing Mary to receive forgiveness and that's good enough till the next week. Sorry if that sounds sarcastic but as someone who came from a Catholic family background and saw the discrepancies later on in life when I became a Christian I still get a little bothered about it. And no, I don't hold a grudge against anyone, I just don't like non-Biblical traditions that masquerade as coming from God. It's like "hate the sin, but love the sinner".
Matthew 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
2006-09-01 03:40:14 · answer #1 · answered by Martin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely right, Catholics are not supposed to hold grudges. Well, no one should, not just the Catholics.
Since you did not or could not provide actual quotes of this alleged insult, it is virtually impossible for anyone to make an honest judgment.
It is good that Mike apologized immediately, but it would have been better had he not made the insulting remark at all, mind you. So, let's not blame Dan for all of this. It's both their fault. Dan came forth immediately. This is a good thing. Dan did the right thing in lieu of his mistake.
Being Catholic does not mean we aren't allowed to get angry. There is such a thing as righteous anger. Since I don't know what was said, it's impossible to judge whether or not Mike's anger is righteous.
Either way, Mike should not be holding this grudge against Dan.
Since Dan is (claims to be) a devout Catholic, perhaps you can reach his better judgement through the use of Scripture. Try Luke 6:37 - 37: "Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;
John 20:23: If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained."
Perhaps John said it best here: 1John, Chapter 2, verses 10 and 11 - He who loves his brother abides in the light, and in it there is no cause for stumbling. But he who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.
In other words, Dan cannot receive forgiveness of any sins he might have committed against God when Dan will not forgive a sin committed against him. Dan is unwilling to forgive Mike for his transgression while Dan expects to be forgiven by God for his own transgression. See the hypocrisy? This is precisely why Catholics are not supposed to waste time with grudges.
In immediately forgiving Dan, Mike has shown himself to be the more forgiving Christian. How do you think Dan will feel about that? Tell him that if he remains stubborn.
2006-09-04 04:27:58 · answer #2 · answered by Daver 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, Shouldn't all of us forgive and move on not just Catholics? The Religion is not Dan's problem, the problem is Dan. Unfortunately, only Dan can make the decision that he is being too sensitive. My only suggestion is for Mike to write a letter to Dan explaining how he feels so that he will be able to get all of his words out without being interrupted or cut off. After that all he can do is hope that Dan realizes he has a friend who misses him.
2006-09-01 03:42:45 · answer #3 · answered by Inspired! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Catholics can hold grudges because of free will but God always wants everyone to forgive eachother. I've tried tohold a grudge before but it's VERY hard for me. There are some things that can really hurt people's feelings even if it was not a big deal. The only grudge I could hold was against my boyfriend because we were so good together and then he started being mean to me. Anyway he never said sorry, so that's different. The point is is that ifsomeone is truely sorry about something and they still don't forgive them maybe that person isn't a good friend.
2006-09-01 03:45:13 · answer #4 · answered by Bumble Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not just Catholics, and being one, I don't remember anything in any of the doctrines pertaining to 'holding a grudge.' But Dan would feel much better if he just moved on. Perhaps the insult was just too much, and he didn't feel he deserved it - and perhaps their friendship wasn't that strong to begin with. I don't know why this would concern you - and Catholics are people, just as Protestants are, and Baptists, and so on. I suppose you could say that Dan could be more forgiving - but I never felt it was anyone's place to 'forgive' someone - that's God's job.
2006-09-01 03:44:59 · answer #5 · answered by theophilus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps Mike has insulted Dan more times than you know about? Constant degrading would make a person non-responsive to that friend in the future. If that is not so, talk to Dan and tell him it bothers you and all of your friends how he cannot get over his anger towards Mike. Explain to him that life is to short to be angry over something someone said, no matter how stupid the comment may have been. Good luck!
2006-09-01 03:40:16 · answer #6 · answered by angelkiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give this to Dan. as i heard that your a bible scholar maybe you can explain why the holy scriptures don't match up Lev 23 1-18 Tell of G-D's Holy days . .G-D has passover lamb dieing on the preparation day to Passover .Catholics have on Friday pass over starts at sundown of The 13Th day. the day after tomorrow would be 15th . which is a high Holy Day , first day of unleavened bread. to go on G-D said that the waved sheaf offering would happen just after a Saturday Sabbath. Catholics got him on Sunday morning, G-D said that Pentecost would be just after the seventh Sabbath from when the waved chief offering. Saturday evening . Catholics has it on Sunday morning .and do you think that the Catholics Got G-D in a uproar for changing G-D s word
2006-09-01 03:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dan should forgive Mike but it must something that was not too petty for Dan. It might be something he can't get over but for his sake he should. Although we are suppose to forgive but like every other human being we won't forget.
2006-09-01 03:36:58 · answer #8 · answered by awhisper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds really silly. Perhaps you should encourage him to speak with a priest about forgiveness, or even better find some Bible verses dealing with forgiveness and show them to him.
Although he may be a devout catholic, he needs to make more of an attempt to forgive here. Perhaps since it has been so long he may be stubborn or even afraid of what Mike's response will be. However it is necesarry to forgive people as Jesus forgave us in order to really feel free of guilt.
2006-09-01 03:41:18 · answer #9 · answered by kenny_the_bomb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, all Christians are supposed to not judge and to forgive. Dan's feelings were hurt and looks like they still are. Dan being a Catholic doesn't mean he doesn't get hurt. The two are irrelevant.
2006-09-01 03:36:26 · answer #10 · answered by just browsin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋