the other day i asked my mom what she would think if i had a kid at 21 years old. she said "i wouldn't be pleased" so then i asked her what would you think if i got married at 19? she said the same thing. i am only 18 but i love my boy friend at he asked me to marry him. i said yes! we have been together since we were 14. we both want kids after where married. but i don't want my mom to be disappointed of me! got any advice?
2006-09-01 03:13:22 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It is your decision and yours alone. Your mom can't make your life decisions. If this is the right person then you will know it. Our parents only want what is best for us but they don't always know what is best! It is great that you want to get married then wait a couple of years to have kids. It gives you time to be young and married. It gives you time to get through those rough first years of just starting out! Remember YOU are the ONLY one who can make that decision for you! Good luck and congrats on the engagement!
2006-09-01 03:23:03 · answer #1 · answered by hebe935 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to go with your heart and do what makes you happy...I got married at 19...I have been very happily married for almost 2 years now...My husband and I are like you, high school sweethearts...I know there are tons of people that will tell you not to get married young and all of that, but I didn't let that stop me and I wouldn't change a thing...You are the only one who knows your feelings towards your boyfriend...You know the connection that the two of you have....Being high school sweethearts is a rare thing...Most young teens can't make a relationship last a year much less as long as you have...So just do what you feel in your heart is right...Life it too short to be unhappy!
2006-09-01 06:56:11 · answer #2 · answered by Meagan M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WAIT !........ You've both lasted this long through some of the most difficult changes a people face (the transition from child to adult) and so you have an excellent chance of a great future together .
BUT
Because you have endured this together you have both been wearing blinkers for the past few years and haven't given a great deal of attention to the world around you .
Don't charge into the future with tunnel vision because in most cases it later proves that one or both of you will start reflecting on what you have missed out on which in turn will destroy your marriage .
Enjoy each other and life until your about 25 without the restraints of marriage and children , all the while learning from others mistakes and you'll both walk down the aisle with your eyes wide open .
2006-09-01 03:16:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married... yet.
Listen to mom. I know it's something that you really don't want to hear, but she's right.
You have A LOT of growing up to do. I dated the same guy for 4 years... At 21 EVERYTHING fell apart. He had given me a ring and everything, but I had outgrown him. He was still really immature (wanted to drop out of college to be an actor, etc.), and I was ready to have a real life.
I am 23 now. And I thank God I never married that guy. Believe me when I say this, looking back in about 4 years you won't realize how much you have changed. Me at 19 versus me now.... wow. I can hardly believe I was the same person.
So here's my advice (and I bet something mom would concur with) go to college, get a steady job, then think about marriage (if you are still with this guy, and if you are, great, good luck)... and after that children.
You don't want to get married if you can't support yourself, and you especially don't want to bring kids into a situation where you can't take care of them.
That and, don't you want to be able to drink LEGALLY at your wedding (j/k)?
2006-09-01 05:36:59 · answer #4 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Compromise honey and get used to it because it's a necessary part of life. Why dont you all sit down and talk about it and listen to what her concerns are, you never know some parents actually make sense sometimes. Maybe you could have a long engagement and put kids off for a while, because really what's the rush. If you truly love each other then enjoy what life has to offer you both before you settle down and have children. Good Luck whatever you decide.
2006-09-01 03:19:34 · answer #5 · answered by kookiboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, thats a toughie. i totally understand you. i am marrying my highschool sweetheart in 6 weeks, we have been together for almost 8 years, we talked about getting married when we were 18 or 19 (we're now both 23), but we decided to wait until we could completely support ourselves before we got married. He has graduated college now and we are both working full time. we really didn't want to be a married couple having to borrow money from family ect.
i'm glad we waited, it makes it more special. we've both grown up, lived on our own and lived our lives, together, but not married. we are also planning to have a baby very soon.
the decision is ultimately up to you!
2006-09-01 07:23:27 · answer #6 · answered by TN girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you two were really ment to be then you should wait until you are 21 to get married. So much happens between now and then. You need to learn how to be on your own before you depend on a man to take care of you and the baby you want. Listen to your mom. They are always right!
2006-09-01 07:10:06 · answer #7 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the end of the day,it`s your life and you have to make your own choices and mistakes in life.Maybe you need to sit down with your mum and ask her why she feels so negative about your life.Explain to her that it`s your decision what you do but that you would much prefer she supports your choices rather then fight or argue with her on every matter.There could be a very valid reason as to why your mum feels this way,maybe a mistake in her past that has some reflection on what is going on in your life and she maybe trying to avoid you being hurt.Just explain how your feeling and that your very happy........Good luck.
2006-09-01 04:05:35 · answer #8 · answered by sarah y 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it may not seem like it just now but your mother only wants the best for you,you are still very young and if you and your boyfriend have been together for a few years i don't think he would/should mind waiting just a few years longer, by the way you had better be having protected sex if you are having sex that is i am not presuming that you are just be careful and if you have any worries talk to your mother about them i am sure she will understand that you love each other and want to marry but not just now please enjoy freedom as it were for just now don't be in a hurry to grow up and do the mature thing
2006-09-01 03:20:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married at 23 and now feel that was too young. Your mother only wants what is best for you. She has been around longer and seen moeof life and isdrawing on her experience to help you with advice......don't be too impulsive give her a fair hearing and remember that decisions made now affect the rest of your life.
2006-09-01 20:36:50 · answer #10 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋